Wellbeing Wise Derby

06/10/2026

Come and join First Look SEN, Autism Derby by Julie Fearn and Wellbeing Wise Derby for a cuppa, a chat and lots of support and information on Wednesday 14th October from 1.00-3.00 at Insomnia Coffee Shop Community room in littleover

02/10/2026

🤘🏼Rock Star Day has got me thinking…

My youngest loves Times Tables Rock Stars. He loves the game, the characters, the whole thing.

But he has difficulties with processing information & responding.
Which means he can know the answer, but not retrieve and communicate it within the time allowed.

And that matters because these apps don’t just ask, “Do you know it?”
They also ask, “Can you answer quickly enough?”

If he gets it right but takes too long, he doesn’t progress to the next level. So despite knowing the answer, he can end up feeling like he’s not good at it. I see the impact on his self esteem!

So really, what are we actually teaching him there?

Because where, in everyday life, does he need to complete a multiplication calculation within six seconds to prove that he understands it?

Speed can absolutely be useful. Fluency matters. But fluency & rapid-fire retrieval are NOT the same thing.

For children who need additional processing time, a timed game can turn something they enjoy into another opportunity to experience themselves as “behind”.

And that’s where I have a problem.

I’m not suggesting we get rid of games like these. My son genuinely enjoys them.
I’m asking whether we can make them more accessible.

Can we separate accuracy from speed?
Can we allow additional processing time?
Can children progress because they demonstrate understanding, rather than because they can demonstrate it quickly enough?

Because if the adult has to effectively answer for him so that he can move on, the game isn’t measuring his mathematical understanding anymore.
It’s measuring how quickly an adult can remove the barrier for him.

And that’s not inclusion.

Our children deserve opportunities to experience success without having to perform at the speed of everyone else.

We shouldn’t be asking
How quickly can they do it?
It should be
Do they understand it?

And I think we need to stop confusing the two. Would love to hear your thoughts or if I’m taking this one personally?

02/10/2026

Great post from the lovely Abby. If you support neurodivergent young people (18yrs) and adults, and are looking for some coaching or post-diagnosis support then please do get in touch with her.

Abby has a wealth of offers available on her website and is the absolute sweet spot of combining lived and professional experience 💛

Also I’m loving the phrase ‘internal and external calendar misalignment’ 😂🤓

I've accidentally invented a phrase today that describes something I do ALL the time. Well, I may not be the actual inventor of the phrase but it's the first time I've thought of and used it!

“Internal and external calendar misalignment.”

I was messaging someone this morning and said:

“I often get excited about things and then, because of my internal and external calendar misalignment, can make errors.”

It was basically a fancy way of saying "Yep, I really want to do this thing and I'm usually off on this day but forgot I'd recently booked some work in and my brain hasn't caught up with that fact yet".

So I don't know about you, but I have an internal calendar in my head. It contains useful information such as:

Monday = work
Tuesday = work
Wednesday = work
Thursday = DAY OFF 🎉
Friday = work

So if somebody asks me whether I'm free on a Thursday, my brain can very confidently respond:

“Yep! Thursday's my day off!”

There is, however, another calendar - the external calendar.
The one that lives on my computer and phone, and contains all the things I've actually agreed to do (assuming I've put them in on the correct day - but that's another story).

Appointments. Meetings. Catch-ups. Things I booked three weeks ago. Random commitments that don't fit neatly into my brain's usual template for the week. And occasionally, I answer a question based on my internal calendar without consulting the external one.

Thursday is my day off, Thursday is therefore free.

Except Thursday is not, in fact, free.

This isn't necessarily the same as forgetting that those things exist; if I open my calendar and look at Thursday, there they are. I know about them. It's more that the version of my week I've stored in my head doesn't automatically update itself every time I add an exception to the rule, and excitement makes this even more likely.

If someone suggests something I really want to do, my brain can get as far as “YES!” significantly faster than it can get as far as “perhaps we should consult Outlook.” 😂

So apparently I have:

🧠 My internal calendar – the general map of what I think my life looks like.

📅 My external calendar – documentary evidence of what I've actually done to it.

Sometimes, the two experience a temporary breakdown in communication, or as I like to put it now:

"Internal and external calendar misalignment."

Please tell me I'm not the only person who does this. 😂

01/10/2026

Please share this so we can connect SEND families with the services that can help them when they need it - for free!

Free SEND Law Support, Advice, and Empowerment

Derby SEND Voice is delighted to work in partnership with the University of Derby to provide access to a FREE SEND Law Clinic for parent carers across Derby City and Derbyshire.

We know that navigating the SEND system can sometimes feel overwhelming. This service is here to help parent carers understand their rights, explore their options, and feel empowered to advocate for their child or young person.

The clinic offers an opportunity to discuss SEND-related issues, receive initial advice with a follow up action plan, and signposting when neccessary.

✅ Free service for parent carers living in Derby City or Derbyshire
✅ Professional oversight from a solicitor and SEND specialist
✅ Appointments available every month during university term time
✅ Personalised follow-up action plan provided

Appointments are limited to 45-minute slots and booking is essential. Places are limited and offered on a first-come, first-served basis.

To book an appointment, contact: [email protected]

Know your rights. Understand your options and feel empowered to advocate for your child.

University of Derby

29/09/2026

As a SEND parent or carer, we often spend our time making sure everyone else is okay, while our own wellbeing slips to the bottom of the list. The realities of caring for a child or young person with additional needs can be rewarding, but they can also be stressful, exhausting, and overwhelming at times.

That's why Derby SEND Voice is offering a free, short wellbeing session focused on finding mindfulness in everyday life.

Join us to explore what mindfulness really is, why it can be helpful for stressed and busy nervous systems, and how small mindful moments may already exist within your daily routine. This is not about adding another task to your to-do list. It's about taking a gentle pause and discovering simple ways to support your own wellbeing.

No experience needed. No expectations. No judgement.

Tuesday 13th October
🕡 6.30pm to 7.30pm
💻 Delivered via Zoom
🎟️ Free to attend

Due to a Meta trial currently limiting Pages to just two posts containing links per month, we're unable to share the Eventbrite booking link directly at the moment.

To secure your free place, please send us a DM or email us at [email protected], and we'll happily send you the booking link.

Alternatively, you can search for Derby SEND Voice on the Eventbrite website to find the event.

We hope this temporary issue will be resolved soon and that we'll be back to sharing links as normal. Thank you for your patience!

28/09/2026

This theme keeps coming up...
“It’s because you’re their safe person.”

And yes… I admit, I have said it to parents too!
We know that being a child’s safe person is a privilege. It means they trust us enough to unravel, decompress, and let the mask drop. That’s beautiful.

BUT, let’s also be honest:
It’s a whole lot of pressure too. We're talking a full‑body, full‑time, nervous‑system‑on‑high‑alert kind of pressure.

When professionals say it like it’s a compliment, and then stop there, it can feel a bit like being handed a gold star for surviving daily emotional WWE. Because being the “safe person” often means you’re the one absorbing the verbal punches, the physical wrestles, the cling‑ons, the meltdowns, the face‑licking!

Our baseline for stress becomes… well… toxic.
Hypervigilance becomes normal.
Our own nervous systems get absolutely fried.

And yes — we adore our children. Fiercely.
We love that they feel safe with us.
But loving them doesn’t magically make the exhaustion disappear.
It doesn’t refill our cup.
It doesn’t protect our careers, our relationships, or the siblings who also need us.

Professionals: please remember that “you’re their safe person” shouldn’t be the end of the conversation. Validation and support can coexist. Parents can love their child deeply and desperately need respite, regulation, and a break from being the emotional crash mat.

Being their safe space is a privilege.
Being their safe space is a pressure.
Both truths can sit side by side.

Share this if you’ve ever felt proud, exhausted, touched-out, overwhelmed, and slightly feral… all at the same time 💛🤯🫩

23/09/2026

For anyone looking for Post-16 open evenings this post has a great list!
Wonder if anyone has curated one specifically for SEND students too 🤷🏼‍♀️

We cannot emphasise enough how important it is to attend as many open days and evenings as possible. These events give you the opportunity to explore your options, compare different courses and providers and make an informed decision about the progression route that is right for you after Year 11.

23/09/2026

Martha's Rule, which triggers an urgent review when a patient’s condition is deteriorating and family members feel they are not being listened to, is being extended to all hospital A&E departments and waiting rooms.

16/09/2026

There are no words.

A family’s worst nightmare realised. The autism community, especially those with children who elope, will feel this pain deeply.

Sending love to his family; Noah will be in my thoughts. So utterly devastating 💔