The Autism & ADHD Advocates

We often focus on a child’s behaviour without looking closely enough at what might be happening underneath it.

A child who struggles to wait their turn may need support to strengthen **inhibitory control**.

A child who regularly loses track of instructions may be struggling with **working memory**.

A child who finds changes difficult or becomes stuck on one way of doing something may need support with **flexible thinking**.

This is why observation is so important.

Not judging a child on one incident, but looking for patterns across different situations and building a much clearer picture of their individual strengths and areas that need developing.

We need to move beyond simply recording behaviour and start asking what that behaviour can tell us about the child.

**Before we support the behaviour, we need to understand the child.**

I've written more about this in my latest blog 👇



https://www.autismadhdadvocates.org/blogs/before-we-support-behaviour-understand-the-child

DA can cause so many unnecessary arguments when we only react to the “no”.

Sometimes a young person refuses something they actually like or want, simply because it suddenly feels like the choice has been taken away.

In my latest blog, I share a real-life example that helped me understand what was happening underneath the reaction — and why recognising PDA is about more than just removing demands.

Our children will grow into adults, and life will always bring unexpected changes, responsibilities and situations they cannot control. The aim has to be understanding the reaction, reducing unnecessary pressure, and helping them build the self-awareness and skills to manage those moments.

Do I genuinely not want this, or am I reacting because I feel I have lost control of the decision?

That is such an important question to learn.

PDA: Understanding the Reaction Without Removing Every Demand — The Autism & ADHD Advocates CIC A real-life look at PDA and why understanding the reaction matters. Learn how autonomy, overwhelm and exhaustion can drive refusal, and why supporting PDA should also help young people build skills for everyday life.

One-to-one ADHD coaching is available online & in person.

Sessions are personalised around what you are finding difficult, whether that is overwhelm, organisation, routines, motivation or understanding how ADHD affects everyday life.

Choose your preferred date and time when booking, and I will respond within 24 hours to confirm the session.

Book here:

1-to-1 ADHD Coaching | Understand How You Think | The Autism & ADHD Advocates CIC Affordable one-to-one ADHD coaching to help adults understand how they think, process information and manage everyday challenges. One-hour sessions cost £20.

“But what if something goes wrong?”

Some children ask the same worried questions repeatedly. We reassure them, but the fear soon returns.

This may look like negativity or attention seeking, but the child may be struggling to cope with uncertainty. It does not automatically mean OCD, but repeated catastrophising, checking, avoidance and reassurance seeking should not be ignored.

But What If Something Goes Wrong? Child Anxiety and OCD — The Autism & ADHD Advocates CIC Does your child repeatedly expect the worst? Learn how catastrophising, reassurance seeking and difficulty with uncertainty may sometimes be linked to OCD.

Have you noticed your child repeating the same word when they feel nervous or unsure?

It could be verbal stimming, a familiar word helping an autistic or ADHD child regulate when they cannot explain what they are feeling.

Verbal Stimming: Why Children Repeat Words When Nervous — The Autism & ADHD Advocates CIC Discover why autistic and ADHD children may repeat a familiar word when nervous, and how verbal stimming can help them regulate uncertainty.

Is your child clearly capable but still struggling with learning, memory, attention, organisation or completing their work?

An SOI Learning Profile Assessment can help identify the specific thinking and learning abilities behind those difficulties. It provides an individual profile of strengths and areas requiring development, not simply another label.

A part-funded summer offer is available for children and young people living in Coventry or Warwickshire. Families contribute £195 instead of the usual £390.

Available until 31 August 2026, subject to suitability and availability.

Find out more:
https://www.autismadhdadvocates.org/soi-learning-profile-assessments

Enquiry form:
https://forms.gle/usENM59UD4fZyYUs8

Please share, this may help a family understand why their child is struggling.

SOI Learning Profile Assessments in Coventry | The Autism & ADHD Advocates CIC | The Autism & ADHD Advocates CIC SOI Learning Profile Assessments in Coventry helping parents understand how their child thinks, learns, remembers, solves problems and manages reading, writing, maths and everyday learning demands.

Can a child be exceptionally bright and still struggle to follow instructions, remember details or show what they know? Yes.

My latest blog explains how an SOI Learning Profile can reveal exceptional strengths alongside the weaker abilities that may be getting in the way.

When a Bright Child Struggles | SOI Learning Profile — The Autism & ADHD Advocates CIC Discover how an SOI Learning Profile can reveal exceptional strengths alongside weaker abilities that affect learning and everyday life.

**They are capable. So why are they still struggling?**

A child, young person or adult can be intelligent, creative and full of ideas but still struggle with learning or everyday tasks.

This is because learning does not rely on one single ability. We need different thinking abilities to understand information, remember it, reason with it, solve problems, make decisions and use what we know.

An SOI Learning Profile Assessment looks at a person’s individual pattern of abilities. It identifies their strengths and helps us understand where particular abilities may be making things more difficult.

It may help explain why someone:

• understands something but struggles to show what they know
• forgets instructions or information
• has good ideas but struggles to organise or evaluate them
• takes much longer than expected to complete work
• appears capable but becomes overwhelmed by learning or everyday demands

The assessment does not diagnose autism, ADHD or dyslexia. It provides a clearer understanding of how that individual thinks and learns, so we can begin asking:

**“What is making this difficult?” rather than “Why aren’t they doing it?”**

SOI Learning Profile Assessments are available in Coventry & Warwickshire for children, young people and adults. Part funding is available for some children and young people with SEN.

Find out more:

https://www.autismadhdadvocates.org/soi-learning-profile-assessments

If you have been diagnosed as autistic or with ADHD, have you ever been helped to understand what that actually looks like in you?

A diagnosis gives you a name, but it does not automatically explain your individual profile.

This becomes especially important when you are raising children.

Autism and ADHD often run in families, but your child’s profile may be completely different from yours. You may need quiet while your child regulates by making noise. You may depend on routines while your child constantly seeks novelty.

Without understanding what sits beneath behaviour, difficulties with memory can look like not listening. Overwhelm can look like defiance. Difficulty beginning a task can look like laziness.

My greatest concern is what children begin to believe about themselves when these difficulties are repeatedly misunderstood.

This is not about blaming parents. How can parents ask for help when they do not yet know what help they need?

We urgently need more practical support that helps diagnosed adults understand how autism and ADHD affect their executive functioning, sensory processing, communication, emotions, learning and everyday life.

Understanding yourself could change how your child is understood, supported and taught to think about themselves.

Read my latest blog:

Diagnosed With Autism or ADHD? Understanding Your Profile Could Change Your Child’s Future

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Diagnosed With Autism or ADHD? Understanding Your Profile Could Change Your Child’s Future — The Autism & ADHD Advocates CIC An autism or ADHD diagnosis can explain your past, but understanding your individual profile could help shape your child’s future. This blog explores why parents need to understand how their own neurodivergence affects everyday life, so they can recognise and support their child’s individual nee...