The Sex Ed Club

Are you a good girl?

I'd like to hope not, find my Anti Good Girl Guide on my new blog ⤵️

Happy reading 📚

The Anti good girl guide — The s*x ed club building Self esteem

Okay, let's settle this once and for all. 👇

The word most of us were taught in s*x ed? WRONG.

We've been calling the v***a the va**na for DECADES and honestly… it's time we fixed that. 🌸

The va**na is the internal canal.
The v***a is everything on the outside: the l***a, the cl****is, all of it.

And before you say "does it really matter?" yes. YES it does.

Because when we can't name our own body parts correctly, we struggle to:
✨ Talk about our health
✨ Communicate our needs
✨ Feel confident in our own skin

Language isn't just semantics. It's power.

I've written all about it on the blog, pop the kettle on and give it a read 👇

🔗 www.thes*xedclub.com/blog

And tell me in the comments, what did YOUR s*x ed get wrong? (I have a feeling the list will be long… 😅)

*xEd ***a *xEdClub

I want to share something personal today.

There was a moment, I remember it clearly, when I finally understood that my discomfort talking about s*x and desire was not a personal quirk.

It was entirely, completely, predictably the result of everything I had been taught.

Or rather, everything I had not been taught.

The silence. The vague warnings. The sense that this was not something nice women talked about freely.

When I understood that, something shifted.

Not immediately. Not dramatically.

But slowly, I stopped treating my own awkwardness as evidence that something was wrong with me and started treating it as evidence of a system that had failed me.

That is a very different place to stand.

From that place, I could start asking different questions. Not 'what is wrong with me?' but 'what was I never given?'

And the answer, it turned out, was quite a lot.

This is why I do this work. And this is why this community exists.

Has there been a moment like that for you, when something shifted in how you understood yourself?

Big news from The S*x Ed Club, the therapy waitlist is officially open! 🎉

I've spent years working behind the scenes, running workshops and working with universities, and now I'm bringing all of that into a specialist therapy practice.

If you've ever thought 'I wish I had someone I could actually talk to about this stuff' ~ hi, that's me.

I work with men, women and LGBTQIA+ clients on everything from low libido and intimacy issues, to s*xual identity, pain during s*x, relationship dynamics, and more. No topic is off the table.

Sessions are available in-person in Brighton or online across the UK.

Good things are worth waiting for and so are you. ❤️

Join the waitlist here → https://www.thes*xedclub.com/therapy

Honest question for the community this week.

I want to know: what did your s*x education actually teach you?

Not what it was supposed to teach you.

What it actually taught you.

Did it teach you that your pleasure matters?
Did it teach you how to communicate what you need?
Did it teach you that desire is normal, complex, and varied?
Did it teach you anything about intimacy beyond the mechanics?

Or did it teach you, as it taught most of us, that s*x is something to be cautious about, slightly embarrassed by, and managed rather than enjoyed?

I am asking because the answers matter.

The gaps in what we were taught follow us into adulthood. Into our relationships. Into our bedrooms.

Understanding those gaps is the first step to filling them.

Share your honest answer below. I read every single comment and I promise this is a judgment-free zone.

And if this hits close to home, share it with a woman who would appreciate this conversation. 💌

I want to talk about something that affects a huge number of women and is almost never discussed honestly.

Desire that seems to have disappeared.

Maybe you used to feel it more. Maybe you cannot remember a time you felt it consistently. Maybe it shows up occasionally and then vanishes without explanation.

Whatever your experience, I want you to hear this clearly:

You are not broken.

Desire in women is extraordinarily sensitive to context. It is affected by stress, sleep, relationship quality, mental health, hormones, past experiences, how safe we feel, how seen we feel, and a hundred other factors.

When desire diminishes, it is almost always telling us something. Not that there is something wrong with us, but that something in our environment, our relationship, or our inner world needs attention.

The question is never 'what is wrong with me?'

The question is 'what is my body trying to tell me?'

This shift in perspective changes everything.

If you would like to explore this further, drop a 🌹 in the comments.

New Substack, just in time for the weekend.

Women Gathering Wherever I can, I invite clients to recognise how hard adulting is.

This week in The S*x Ed Club community we are talking about pleasure.

And I want to start somewhere that might surprise you.

Not in the bedroom.

I want to start with the small, everyday moments of pleasure that most of us rush past without noticing.

The first sip of a really good coffee.
The feeling of clean sheets.
A song that makes you want to move.
A conversation that leaves you feeling fully seen.

Because here is what I know: women who struggle with pleasure in their intimate lives often struggle with pleasure everywhere.

We have been so well trained to put ourselves last that pleasure in any form starts to feel uncomfortable. Indulgent.
Like something we have not earned yet.

Reclaiming your relationship with intimacy and desire starts with reclaiming your relationship with pleasure. All of it.

So here is your challenge for this week:

Do one thing, just one, purely because it brings you pleasure. Not because it is productive. Not because it benefits anyone else.

Just because it feels good.

Tell me in the comments what you chose. I will be cheering you on.

The real reason women struggle to ask for what they want.

Here is something I hear constantly in my work with women.

'I just cannot seem to ask for what I want.'

And the response they almost always get from well meaning friends, articles, and even some therapists?

'Just communicate more.'

As if the barrier is simply not knowing the words.

But here is what I know after years of this work: the barrier is almost never the words.

It is the belief underneath the words.

The belief that what you want is too much. That asking makes you difficult. That a good partner should just know. That your pleasure is not quite as important as keeping the peace.

These beliefs do not come out of nowhere. They come from years of messages within our culture, relationships, the s*x education we never received. In a hundred different ways, we were sold our needs were secondary.

Learning to ask for what you want is not a communication skill.

It is an act of radical self-belief.

And it starts with understanding where that belief got so quietly eroded in the first place.

This is exactly the work we do in The S*x Ed Club.

Does this resonate? Have you ever found yourself unable to ask for what you need, in or out of the bedroom? What do you think held you back?

Tell me below. 👇

Wednesday musings...

What lessons did you learn about s*x that you'd like to let go of?

Answers on a postcard.