Nicole Everingham - Relationship Coach

I’m pleased to now be working from a new practice space at Brighton Therapy Rooms in the wonderful North Laine of Brighton. It’s conveniently located just by the station, with parking nearby, and feels like the perfect calm setting for the work I do with clients

After previously working from a few different practice rooms, it’s really nice to now have one consistent space where I see clients for relationship coaching, and so close to home. I love that it’s in the heart and buzz of Brighton

Brighton Therapy Rooms Ltd is new and has 7 beautifully appointed rooms. Number is my fav 🤫

A lot of dating anxiety comes from waiting to be selected.

Do they like me?
Will they choose me?
Am I enough?

That mindset quietly puts you in a powerless position.

Healthy dating isn’t about performing for approval. It’s about discerning.

Do I feel safe?
Do our values align?
Do I actually like how I feel around them?

When you shift from trying to be chosen to consciously choosing, your standards rise and your self-respect strengthens.

Sometimes relationship work begins when you realise the current dynamic isn’t sustainable.

Even as a relationship coach, I’m not immune to old push–pull patterns or the impact of living separately while navigating full lives.

The difference isn’t knowing the theory. It’s deciding whether you’re both willing to do the work.

It took both of us being fully invested.
Stepping away from daily life.
Designing a structure that helped us slow down enough to really listen.

Guardrails matter.
Curiosity matters.
Feeling heard matters.

Patterns don’t shift just because you understand them intellectually. They shift when you’re willing to sit with them together.

This is the kind of intentional work I believe in — professionally and personally.

If it would be helpful, I’m happy to share the structure we created 💛✨

Are you blocking love without realising it?
Sometimes the biggest barriers to love aren’t external. They’re internal patterns we’ve learned to rely on for protection.

Many people pull away, shut down, or lose interest not because the relationship is unhealthy, but because emotional closeness starts to feel uncomfortable. Even with someone who could be a good fit.

Past experiences, attachment patterns, and fear can make intimacy feel risky, confusing, or overwhelming. So the nervous system looks for ways to regain control.

This can show up as:

pulling away when things start to feel close

seeking reassurance but struggling to trust it

avoiding honest conversations for fear of conflict

repeating relationship patterns that create insecurity

losing attraction over small things and calling it “the ick”, when it may be fear of intimacy or vulnerability underneath

Often, these behaviours are rooted in:

fear of rejection or getting hurt

insecure attachment patterns

low self-worth or self-doubt

unhelpful beliefs about love and relationships

avoiding commitment as a way to feel safe

These responses usually develop unconsciously. They once served a purpose, but over time they can keep you stuck and disconnected from the kind of relationship you want.

The work isn’t about forcing yourself to be more open.
It’s about understanding your patterns, building self-trust, and learning how to stay present with closeness without abandoning yourself.

When fear no longer runs the show, love tends to feel steadier, clearer, and more possible.

Better relationships don’t start with finding the right person.
They start with understanding yourself.

Not in a self-blaming way.
In a steady, honest one.

How you see yourself.
How you respond when things feel uncertain.
The patterns you repeat when you’re trying to feel safe, chosen, or secure.

So much of relationship work isn’t about doing more.
It’s about noticing what you’ve learned to do to protect yourself,
and deciding what no longer serves you.

When those patterns shift, relationships tend to change too.

If there’s one belief that quietly keeps people stuck in relationships, work, and life, it’s this:

“I’m not good enough.”

It doesn’t usually show up loudly or dramatically.
More often, it appears in subtle ways.

In relationships, it can look like doubting your worth, overgiving, settling for less, or holding back your needs.
At work, it might show up as hesitating to put yourself forward, fearing failure, or feeling like an imposter.
In life, it can lead to constant comparison, avoiding risk, or feeling the need to prove your value.

This belief is not a fact.
It’s a story shaped by past experiences, early conditioning, and moments where it didn’t feel safe to be fully yourself.

And stories can change.

Shifting this pattern isn’t about confidence hacks or positive thinking.
It’s about slowly building self-trust, questioning old assumptions, and learning to relate to yourself differently.

As this belief loosens:

communication becomes clearer

settling becomes less appealing

decisions start to come from values, not fear

This is the kind of work I support clients with every day.

If this belief feels familiar, you’re not alone. And it is something that can be worked with.