Aspire Educational Psychology Services

Aspire Educational Psychology Services Aspire Educational Psychology services is an independent educational psychology practice managed by Dr Amanda Furness.

Some really important considerations for educators and parents about girls and boys and how they learn.
13/03/2025

Some really important considerations for educators and parents about girls and boys and how they learn.

This alongside Inside Out 2 - great ways to develop understanding of emotional development and presentations.
24/11/2024

This alongside Inside Out 2 - great ways to develop understanding of emotional development and presentations.

Please bear with us- we are having telephone trouble! If you are trying to reach us, email is best for now. We are recei...
05/11/2024

Please bear with us- we are having telephone trouble! If you are trying to reach us, email is best for now. We are receiving a high number of enquiries and have limited availability but aim to get back to everyone as quickly as possible. Our wonderful new admin team will be working through new referral requests this week.

30/08/2024

One of the first things we learn at school is that learning means being still.

At primary school it’s about sitting on your bottom and not fiddling with your pencil. Walking not running, and putting your hand up before you speak. Staying in your chair, even when you’re desperate to crawl under the table or lie on the floor.

At secondary school it carries on. Some schools insist that young people track the teacher with their eyes, and won’t allow them to reach into their bag for a water bottle without asking. Every move is choreographed and on command. They say this maximises learning.

We tell children that to learn they need to listen, and to listen they need to keep still. That’s particularly hard for children, and so a lot of their energy is spent trying to conform with that. For some, it’s much harder, and they get in trouble for bouncing and jumping. The movement bursts out of them, and we tell them they can’t learn like that.

It’s not true. If you watch children learning out of school, they move and twirl and jump. They lie on the floor whilst listening to stories and hang off the monkey bars whilst they think. They ask unexpected questions at inconvenient times. They make new connections whilst sitting on the toilet, bouncing on the trampoline or when watching TV. They run around and then come back to a story. They express their feelings through their body.

Schools need to control children’s bodies to manage large numbers, but that doesn’t mean that stillness is the best way to learn. As adults, many of us must work hard to reconnect to our bodies. We’ve learnt to ignore our urge to move and we can’t understand why we feel so terrible after hours at a desk.

The things we learn at school run deep. But learning is about connection, not disconnection, and we can’t leave our bodies out of that.

Let’s reclaim our right to be active.

We need to move to learn, and that goes both for our children and ourselves.

21/03/2024

Feeling stressed about upcoming exams? Our director, Dr Amanda Furness, will be talking about tips to help with exam stress on various BBC radio stations across the country this morning.

Assume that I can, so maybe I will. A powerful message highlighting the importance of aspirational outcomes. So often I ...
15/03/2024

Assume that I can, so maybe I will.

A powerful message highlighting the importance of aspirational outcomes. So often I work with young people who assume they won’t succeed today because of their previous experiences and how they are greeted in the mornings. Every day is a new start. Every day there are endless possibilities and every day you can take a step closer to your dreams ✨

A lovely way to explore intelligence. It is a concept that has many meanings and we feel that the question should not be...
23/01/2024

A lovely way to explore intelligence. It is a concept that has many meanings and we feel that the question should not be, ‘Are you intelligent?’ but rather, ‘How are you intelligent?’ Whilst some of us are mathematicians or authors, others have superpowers in other areas. It is always worth working on knowing your strengths!

The other day, my child asked me what was the opposite of genius.

I was washing dishes, so I was glad for the excuse to quit. Plus, I'm pedantic and a former English teacher who happens to know a lot about neuroscience.

I was excited she asked, because this was in my wheelhouse.

Like me, my daughter has auditory processing deficits, so I can't just talk at her and expect her to keep up. I needed a visual.

I grabbed the row of colorful plastic cups from the dish drainer and put them on the kitchen table, then filled a measuring cup with water.

I asked her to tell me something she does with her brain. We have several children's books about brains, and I talk about brains and processing somewhat frequently, so she was ready to answer this.

She said, "Remember." I put down the red cup and said that's the part of the brain for memory.

I asked for another. She said, "Process feelings." I sat the orange cup next to the red and said that was for emotions.

We went through the other cups with movement, math, language, organizing, and art, so there on the table was a plastic cup rainbow.

"Now, this is a cup of brain power," I held up the measuring cup.

"Actually, that's two cups, or sixteen ounces," she informed me.

Pedantry runs in the family.

"Fair enough. So this is a measuring container full of brain power. Everyone has this much brain power. Now, most people's brains work a lot like this," I demonstrated, pouring an approximately even amount of water into each cup.

I told her that there's a lot more than seven jobs a brain performs, but we will just use that seven for the lesson.

"Most people's brains are like this. They're maybe a bit better at organizing than math, and they're a bit better at art than language-- but, they're pretty good at most things."

Then, I poured the seven cups back into the measuring "container."

"Now, tell me what each of these seven cups mean," I said. She went through and labeled them all. "That's right. Most people couldn't have remembered that. So fill your memory cup," I said, passing her the "brain power measuring container."

She filled it about halfway up, which was more than 1/7 of the "brain power."

"What else are you really good at doing?"

"Language," she said. "I'm good at reading and spelling and vocabulary."

"Okay, so now put some brain power in your language cup."

She noted that she struggled with organizing and with movement. She has a motor coordination disability, so she can be very clumsy.

By the time her "brain power" water had been distributed to her liking, she was thinking of other things the brain does and naming my strengths and weaknesses, too, and how my brain power would be distributed.

"So, people get to know about my memory or my language skills and tell me I'm a genius. But, I can't tell my left from right, I trip over my own feet all the time, and I can't even draw a tree that looks like a tree. If people know that I can't read a clock or tell left from right, will they think I'm a genius?"

"Definitely not. I knew how to do that before I was four years old," she said. I did not add a cup for tact and subtlety, but I wanted to.

"Most people see that someone is really good at math or language or memory and call them a genius, but everyone has about the same amount of brain power. It just gets distributed differently. If someone is really good at some things, they usually have a really hard time with other things."

I then explained how many autistic people, like her and me, have very keen hearing, or they might be very good at art, or music, or math, but really struggle in other areas. They may struggle with motor (movement) coordination so much that they can't coordinate their movements to speak.

"They have an unruly body, like Gregory C Tino!" She exclaimed, cheering about the autistic author of several of her favorite books. "I have an unruly body sometimes, too," she noted.

"So, can you show me the opposite of a genius?" I asked.

She said, "Well, if they are really bad at one thing, they will probably be really good at other things! So the opposite of a genius is a genius!"

As if on cue, she knocked over about half the cups in one impulsive movement. "Unruly body!" she yelled.

"You just spilled all that water like a genius!" I yelled.

We had a good laugh at that, and now my seven-year-old is more versed in cognitive neuroscience than many educators. If you made it this far, so are you.

12/12/2023

We are inviting secondary schools in England to take part in a study that will explore the impact of trauma-informed practice on pupil & staff wellbeing . Our Youth Participation Programme Assistant explains why it’s so valuable. Find out more today: https://orlo.uk/bSpNO

Free online support for a range of emotional well-being concerns (age11-18).
18/09/2023

Free online support for a range of emotional well-being concerns (age11-18).

An online, mental health and wellbeing service for children and young people How it can help What you’ll find on Kooth includes: Live text-based chat sessions with a member of their team Send a message to our team inbox anytime Support from their online community of young people A range of self-he...

As a parent, it can be a real struggle to get the help your child needs. Taking time for self care and knowing that feel...
01/09/2023

As a parent, it can be a real struggle to get the help your child needs. Taking time for self care and knowing that feeling ‘not ok’ is absolutely normal and acceptable can be very powerful. Having the confidence to challenge professionals who are not acknowledging this is hard but admirable.

"Mum is extremely anxious". When things go wrong for children at school, it's not just their behaviour which is observed. Parents get assessed too. This is what families tell me happens.

When things first start to get difficult, and children are showing signs of distress, parents are told they're over-reacting & making the situation worse. 'Don't be anxious, you'll make them anxious', they hear. Even though everything about the situation is anxiety-provoking.

When things get worse, and reports are being commissioned, or school meetings called, their reactions get included as part of the assessment. "Mum not coping" or "Mum struggling". They feel blamed and shamed. They are the only person in meetings to be addressed as ‘Mum’ rather than with a title. It feels like they have no identity beyond their relationship with their child.

Children's behaviour and experiences is often taken out of context in assessments, as if it is unprovoked and incomprehensible. The same goes for their mothers. Their anxiety is treated as if it's a 'thing' by itself, quite apart from the circumstances and what is going on.

Mothers tell me they try to put on an act, to hide how worried they are, because they know that any emotion will be used to devalue what they say. I've heard of parents not being told extremely important information about their children 'because it will make them anxious'. In some cases they don’t find out until years later. Keeping mothers quiet is prioritised over their need to know what is happening to their child.

Parents tell me that if they are honest about how hard things are, they are worried that it will all be written down in the reports, and used to argue that their view isn't reliable, or that they aren't coping. They tell me they feel that no one really wants to listen.

They're offered solutions; visual timetables and whiteboards, star charts and stickers, and if they express scepticism or say they've tried that already it's turned back to them "Mum isn't keen" or "Mum is reluctant to give it a go".

They know if it doesn't work it will be said to be down to them not trying hard enough, not to the method not working. Just like if school isn't working it's blamed on families and parents rather than on school. They feel there’s no way for their voices to be heard. Their role is to be compliant and not make a fuss.

What no one can ever tell me is what the 'normal' response is meant to be if your child is really struggling with school and life & you don't know where to turn. If you're fighting for an EHCP for a specialist school which you're not really sure is going to be the solution and you’ve already tried three other schools all of which were bad experiences.

Or if every morning you have to coax your reluctant child into school, and every afternoon you have to deal with the meltdowns and aftermath. When every Sunday is spent dreading Monday, loudly or quietly. What is the acceptable way to feel when this is your life?

In fact, I sometimes say to mothers that I'd be worried if they weren't anxious. If they said to me, oh yes, my child is refusing to go to school and never comes out of their bedroom, but I'm perfectly fine, never slept better, not a moment of worry.
We've forgotten that anxiety is a natural reaction to circumstances which feel unsafe and uncertain. We're forgetting to ask ourselves how we'd feel in the same situation. We're missing the opportunity to empathise and hear how distressing the situation is.

Of course "Mum is anxious". Her child is distressed & no one can help. She feels scrutinised & getting support is a full time job. She has no idea what the future will bring. She knows it will be her picking up the pieces at the end of it all.

Tell me, wouldn't you be anxious?

Illustration by Missing The Mark.

This is a post from my Substack. Go and subscribe there if you'd like to get my blog posts to your inbox. Easy to share with those not on social media and free. www.naomicfisher.substack.com.

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