Parenting Angel

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From The Therapist Parent
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Phrases every boy needs to hear growing up 💙

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8 FIGHTS WORTH PICKING WITH YOUR KIDS:

Parenting is hard. Parents have to choose their battles. Here are 8 fights worth picking with your kids:

The Reading Fight:
Make your kids read. Because reading is tied to everything from cognitive development to the ability to focus. Make your kids read now.

The Outside Fight:
Make your kids go outside. The natural world teaches us things. Plus, outside there's sunshine, fresh air, and exercise waiting for them. Most importantly, nature is full of things in short supply in our world: Discovery, wonder, peace, joy.

The Work Fight:
Make your kids work. I’m saddened by how many parents don’t require their kids to lift a finger at home. There are priceless life principles you can only learn with a mop in your hand. Let sweat be their teacher.

The Meal Fight:
Make your kids eat as a family. Our lives are a blur of incessant activity. Meals together are a physical pause to recover a truth so easily sacrificed at the altar of busyness.

The Boredom Fight:
Make your kids live with boredom. Don't show a DVD on each car ride. Kids need unscheduled time. And, odd as it sounds, boredom is a skill. It's hard as a parent to deal with the assault of boredom complaints. But if you give in and fill up their time with external stimuli, you'll raise an activity addict. Make them learn how to be.

The "Me First" Fight:
Make your kids go last. Not every time for everything. But enough to remember that the world doesn't revolve around them. Take the smallest piece. Give up the remote. Do someone else's chores. Get their least favorite choice. They won't like it, but they need it.

The Awkward Conversation Fight:
Make your kids have uncomfortable conversations with you. S*x, dating, body image, values...Your kids will roll their eyes and resist. You will stumble and stutter. They need and want your perspective, lessons learned, and wisdom.

The Limitation Fight:
Learning to live within limits is a valuable life skill. In fact, many adult problems arise from an inability to accept them. Screen time limits, dietary limits, activity limits, and schedule limits are all good.

As a parent, you have to pick your battles. They're not easy, but they're worth the fight.

*Copied from David Morris on Twitter and borrowed from a friend!

This is a great way to communicate our feelings to our children and works really well. Let me know how it goes x

Centre for Child and Parent Support The Centre for Parent and Child Support (CPCS) aims to bring an exciting portfolio of integrated, holistic and effective child and family programmes that promote psychological and social wellbeing and improve outcomes for children

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Even when you think they aren’t! They are still listening

Our kids are listening.

They hear you talk about what you really think about their school teacher.

They know what you say about their aunt when you leave the family gathering.

They know what you think about someone who looks or acts differently because they heard the way you giggled or sneered about that person in the grocery store.

You can read all the books on kindness to them. You can talk their ear off on the value of kindness. But when they hear you judge and shame, gossip or ridicule, you’re normalizing it for them. You are teaching them that it is OK.

Kids don’t learn how to tease or bully in a vacuum. Gossip, disrespect or cruelty don’t come naturally. They are learned behaviors. And many of them learn it in their very own home.

Because our kids are listening.

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LOVE THIS! Complete game changer for me

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A few days ago while at the pool I watched a young Mama and her little daughter enter the pool area dressed in very nice coordinating swimming suits. The mom, with her perfect loose curls tied up in a coordinating scarf, spent the first few minutes talking loudly on her phone to a friend while her daughter stood waiting to get into the pool. Mom ended the phone call and proceeded to spread out pool toys and sunscreen on a matching towel. Then after finding just the right angle and the right light, Mama pulled out her tripod and took a few selfies with her daughter. Little One asked to get in the pool. Mama said wait and then posed her daughter in front the pool, then going in to the pool and then coming back out of the pool. Little one smiled big and said "cheese" like she'd done it a million times. Then Mama told her she could play. Little One walked in and swam around for a couple of minutes. Mama called a friend on her phone and began another conversation while Little One politely and repeatedly asked "Mama, can you come in the water with me, please?" She was ignored. "Mama, come play with me?" she asked 4 more times. Mama glanced over at her but never got off the phone. After 10 minutes Mama ended her call, collected the sunscreen that was never applied, the water toys that never touched the water, and then her daughter and left the pool.

I sat there thinking about what I'd witnessed for awhile afterwards. I imagined the photos she took being perfectly edited and posted to social media with a caption like "Pool time with my girly! ".

Somewhere another Mama is going to be at home with her children, the house a mess from their play, her hair unruly from a day of mothering and her clothes dirty with spit up or peanut butter. She's going to be tired because she's spent her day cooking, caring, cleaning and playing with her children. She's going to look at that photo and she is going to compare herself to the perfect Mama at the pool. The Adversary is going to whisper into her ear "you aren't good enough... You don't look like that Mama at the pool... You don't have money to buy expensive swimming suits like that and you don't have time to make memories like she is" and that young Mama is going to believe it. She's going to feel like a failure. She'll never know that how she spent her time that day was so much better in her children's eyes than that "perfect Mama" at the pool.

What we see on Social Media isn't always real. Sometimes and often it's a complete set-up. It's staged and filtered and it's counterfeit.

Sometimes we do see absolutely real photos of vacations and beautiful homes and freshly done hair but it's only ONE moment. It's the very best moment out of a whole day spent much like our own. Working, cleaning, and messes...

Mamas, don't compare yourself. You ARE enough! You are amazing and the very best part is that you are REAL! Your dirty shirt and your messy house and your happy children are real and they are proof that you are doing it right!

This is a really useful read x I was particularly taken by the last slide, hadn’t considered this before and definitely going to try x