24/01/2026
I Was Networking Before I Knew It Was Marketing
For most of my life, I didn’t think of myself as a “networker.”
In fact, if you’d asked me whether I enjoyed networking, I’d probably have said no.
What I did enjoy was talking to people.
In cafés.
In queues.
At conferences, pubs, train platforms, and places where conversations weren’t supposed to happen — but did anyway.
Long before I understood the language of marketing, branding, or “relationship building,” I was already doing the thing those disciplines now try to formalise. I just didn’t call it anything.
That, it turns out, is the secret.
Before It Had a Name
I grew up chatting to strangers because it felt natural. No agenda. No pitch. No quiet calculation about what I might get out of it.
Just curiosity.
Who are you?
How did you end up here?
What keeps you busy?
Sometimes the conversation lasted two minutes. Sometimes two hours. Most of the time, nothing “came of it” — at least not in any obvious, transactional way.
But occasionally, something did.
A connection.
A collaboration.
An idea.
A door opening much later than expected.
Only in hindsight did I realise: this is networking. Or at least, it’s what networking is supposed to be.
The Problem With Modern Networking
Somewhere along the way, networking became performative.
It acquired rules, tactics, funnels, scripts, and follow-up sequences. People learned to lead with job titles, achievements, and carefully polished origin stories.
And the moment you do that, the conversation changes.
You’re no longer meeting a person.
You’re managing an impression.
Most people can feel that within seconds — even if they can’t quite explain why they suddenly want to escape to the bar.
What Actually Works (and Always Has)
The most effective networking I’ve ever done has looked like this:
• No clear objective beyond the conversation itself
• Genuine interest in the other person’s world
• Willingness to listen without steering
• Sharing just enough of myself to be real, not impressive
That’s it.
No elevator pitch.
No business card choreography.
No LinkedIn exchange before the coffee’s even cooled.
When connection comes first, opportunity has a way of turning up uninvited.
Why This Is Marketing (Whether You Like It or Not)
Here’s the uncomfortable truth for people who hate the word marketing:
Marketing isn’t promotion.
It’s reputation.
It’s what people say about you when you’re not there.
It’s how you make them feel in small, forgettable moments.
It’s whether they remember you as someone worth talking to again.
By simply being present, curious, and human — you are already marketing yourself. Quietly. Authentically. Effectively.
The reason it works is because it isn’t trying to.
The Real Secret
The secret isn’t learning how to network.
The secret is remembering how to talk to people before you thought you were supposed to be doing something with them.
When you let go of the outcome, you get better outcomes.
When you stop trying to be interesting, you become interested — and that’s far more powerful.
I didn’t discover this through a marketing book or a personal branding course. I’d been doing it for years without knowing what to call it.
And honestly?
That’s probably why it worked.