Sound Heart Healing

For Muslims who know exactly what "go and get the stick" means.

In this video I'm talking about something I haven't said out loud much: how growing up with fear around the Quran meant I spent years running from the very things that were always meant to help me.

Praying felt hard. Reading Quran felt hard. My faith felt like something to avoid rather than something to run to.

What changed wasn't a single moment. It was a slow unlearning and experiencing for myself: taking Allah out of the frame of fear and actually talking to Him. Really talking. And then noticing the signs He sent back. That He was there. That He had always been there. That His mercy was never conditional on me being perfect.

Now the things I used to avoid are the things I reach for first when life gets hard. Alhamdulillah.

A note from me before you comment:

****If you grew up with physical punishment that went beyond discipline — if what you experienced was truly harmful — I want you to know this space is for you too.
Please be gentle with yourself and consider speaking to your GP, a therapist, or feel free to reach out to me directly. You deserve real support. 🤍

*****At 46 I want to say clearly: I am grateful to my father. And my mother.The time and effort they put into making sure I learnt and understood the Quran is something I will carry forever. My dad's approach to parenting was very different to mine, but his intention was love. And I see that now.

Share your experiences below but please be kind to yourself and fto others. And if you have questions, my DMs are open. 🤍

15 years. Tens of thousands of pounds. And the one thing that actually shifted my anxiety wasn't what I expected.

I spent years going back to the story. Replaying the pain. Asking "why me?" over and over thinking the answer would set me free.

It didn't.

What did? I'll tell you in 60 seconds.

Watch this if you're a Muslima who feels anxious, overwhelmed, and stuck in her own head. This is what I wish someone had told me years ago.

I lived with anxiety for years and nobody knew. Because I looked like I was coping.
Here are 5 things I'll never do again:

1) Prioritise a tidy house over my health, my family, and my wellbeing.
2)Say yes out of politeness when it doesn't align with my values or my priorities. Politeness was my people-pleasing in disguise.
3)Overstretch myself to prove I'm enough. I used to take on everything because deep down I believed if I stopped, people would see I wasn't worth it.
4)Over-explain myself when I've set a boundary. No is a complete sentence.
5)Fill every silence in a conversation. I used to panic in the quiet. Now I'm comfortable in the silence.

If you watched this and thought "that's me" you might just be ready for something different.

I could have made this list 10 things long. What would YOU add? Drop it below.

As a trauma and anxiety coach who used to be a very anxious human, here are 5 silly things I do when anxiety shows up. And why they actually work.

1) I time travel. I close my eyes and imagine the thing I'm worried about going really well. I see it, hear it, feel it. Your subconscious mind doesn't know the difference between real and imagined. So when you rehearse it going well, your brain stops panicking about it because as far as it's concerned, it already happened.

2) Panoramic vision. I look up and let my gaze go wide. This activates your parasympathetic nervous system which is your body's built-in calm down system. It sounds too simple to work. It works.

3) I hug myself. Its called Havenin and its a gentle self-touch technique that promotes the release of oxytocin, the love hormone. It tells your brain you're safe. Think of it like giving your nervous system a hug from the inside.

4) I talk to myself like my own 7 year old is scared. Not the voice that says "pull yourself together!!!" The one that says "I know this is hard. You're okay. I've got you." Real kindness. Real compassion. The voice you deserved to hear back then.

5) I turn my anxiety into a purple monster. Intentionally ridiculous. Because the moment you make it silly, you stop believing it's who you are. It becomes something separate. Something that visits and leaves. Not something you're stuck with.

These aren't complicated. And you can do them yourself. They work because they interrupt the pattern before it takes over.
Save this for the next time it hits. Share it with someone who needs a new toolkit.

If you're the one everyone leans on but you can't remember the last time someone asked if YOU were okay then this is for you.

You’re the one managing the work meetings, planning the meals, sorting out someone's birthday present, getting to the mosque, responding to every group chat, making time to visit the relative who's unwell…. all before you've even thought about yourself. Carrying the emotional weight of your family, your friends, your household … quietly, consistently, without ever being asked to.

And I see you running on empty while you do it.
You've been doing this so long that people have forgotten you need looking after too. But here's the truth that's hard to hear… they didn't just forget. You made it easy for them. You stopped asking for help. You stopped showing the cracks. You held it all so well that everyone around you assumed you were fine.

And now you're exhausted but you don't know how to put it down.

I want you to sit with these questions. Not rush past them. Actually sit with them

What are you carrying right now that isn't yours?

Where in your life have you gone quiet when you needed to speak up?

And what is being the strong one costing you?

These aren't comfortable questions. But you deserve to ask them. And you deserve to answer them honestly — without guilt.

Giving yourself grace doesn't mean giving up. It means getting honest about what needs to change. And having the courage to change it.
You've spent years looking after everyone else. This is your permission to start looking after you.

If this resonated — share it with someone who needs to hear it today.

Even coaches need their own tools sometimes ( did I say sometimes, I mean all the time!)

This week my schedule went sideways and I felt the overwhelm creeping in — chest tight, snappy, everything piling up. So I stopped and did the five things I teach my clients.

Number 4 is always the one that brings me back. Watch the reel for all five — and save this for the next time your week falls apart inshaAllah.

Tag a sister who needs this today.

Preparing for Ramadan isn’t just meal prep — it’s heart prep. 🌙
If you want to enter Ramadan feeling calmer and more emotionally steady, start here:

✨ 1) Set your intention (niyyah)
Ask: What do I want to feel like by the end of Ramadan? And why does it matter?

🧠 2) Brain dump the noise
Write everything on your mind. Then choose ONE small action per day to clear mental clutter.

🤍 3) Release resentment
Who are you still carrying in your chest? You don’t have to excuse anything — but you can ask Allah to help you let go of the burden.

📵 4) Limit the scroll
Set gentle boundaries now (e.g., no social before Fajr / 20 mins a day). Try ScreenZen or your phone’s app limits.

🍯 5) Nourish your mood
Reducing caffeine, sugar and processed foods before Ramadan can help prevent mood crashes. Add supportive foods slowly (protein + fibre at suhoor, fermented foods if they suit you).

🕊 6) Practice surrender
Let go of controlling what you can’t change — and focus on what you can: your intention, your choices, your responses.

Which one are you starting with this week? Comment: 1–6