05/05/2025
"Whichever season I find myself, I tend to compare to others' growth" 💡
I had this revelation in my last closed group supervision with Annie Lee -- I'm not through the thinking about what's going on with comparison, yet, I think the thinking around this cycle might be useful for some others too.
This quote came at a point where I'd drawn out a simplified version of the growth cycle below, finding it analogous to my own journey, particularly these last 18 months.
I see that for me, the cycle, however fast or slow tends to move round from:
*Seeds* - where I'm considering options, finding myself day dreaming and/or thinking at depth (at appropriate and less useful times) about how to make some kind of change.
*Planting* - after a while ruminating, I find I've come to a conclusion and ready to commit to a direction. For me, this bit also involves a lot of second guessing and procrasti-analysis.
*Watering* - the time when I begin to employ my inner geek, do a load of research, remember that thing I found ages ago, try and recall the detail, make connections between abstract ideas and look up a few more things.
On the surface and for any outcome based metrics, I am not achieving much at all...
*Visible Growth* - often the bit that others get let in on, the bit that looks really put together, where I am able to share ideas, feel in flow, achieving something and I am told how 'inspring' I am (clearly I'm comfortable with this 😬 )
Then in reality, there's a few other bits, where there's cross pollination, a bit of collaboration and the inevitable (ideally done well) ending.
*Resting or Shedding* - this is the bit I'm worst at as there's grief about what is ending, the nerves about what comes next and whether I'll accomplosh anything ever again (just me?!)
This season is also an intense time of reflection:
- What could I keep, let go of and/or adapt?
- What behaviours helped or hindered what I was attempting?
- What next?
Continues in comments