RESET

I used to have REEEEAAALLLLYY bad anxiety.

Like, it felt like my mind was tearing itself apart almost every single day.

That was just my life, and I lived with it for a very long time.

But when I discovered shadow integation, that all came to an end.

I just don't experience that kind of anxiety any longer. Which is something I could have hardly imagined before.

As I was integrating anxiety I noticed something...

It was basically just a bunch of different parts of my psyche all screaming about different things with A LOT of emotional charge behind what they were saying.

Some were scared, some were angry, some were hurt, some felt helpeless.

But all of them had unfinished business and unresolved issues.

So I started listening to them, trying to understand what they were so upset about and ultimately what they needed from me.

Now, it took me a good while to sort them all out and decipher their needs, but once I did...

They calmed down.

Some just needed to be heard, understood and cared about.

Some needed me to set boundaries, some needed me to have difficult conversations or adjust my lifestyle.

But they all had some kind of wisdom, that when fully integrated, made my life better, easier and more peaceful.

Now I'm not a doctor so I can't make any sweeping claims about the nature of anxiety.

But this sure as s**t helped me out.

My mind went from a warzone to the place I feel the safest.

From a source of suffering, to a source of inspiration and support.

Each part of you has needs, if those needs go unmet they will find SOME way to get your attention.

But if you give it to them and meet their needs.

They become one big happy family.

Sometimes self-care is making those hard decisions, being honest with yourself and doing those things that your future self will thank you for.

That's how you really take care of yourself.

Think back to March 🤔.....What if anything have you chosen to change in your life in the last 6 months ? Or does every day , week and month run along the same predictable pattern ? We all have things we want or need to change , but we put it off , find excuses , or stay in the comfort of how we have always done things because of the fear of failure or not knowing where to start ......

I didnt set out in feb 2019 with a 6 month goal ..I didnt think short term even , I made the decision to push myself to go to my first slimming world class , after that I took it a day at a time , a meal at a time , a workout at a time and each of those consistant daily choices added up very quickly to a massive change in just 6 months after 12 years of wanting and needing to make those changes for myself and that applies to anything , career change , relationships , mental health , physical health anything you need to need or want to change.

MARCH 2023 - Whats the best possible outcome you could imagine for yourself ? Cause 6 months isnt a longtime and you can either be pretty much where you are right now or make the choice right now to focus completely on one area , one goal and make it your mission to get up tomorrow and start making the daily consistant choices you need to.

The first question should be, do they want to sort themselves out? Because it’s not that easy to help people if they don’t want to be helped. If they do want to be helped, listening is a great first strategy.

Sometimes you need to give someone a hint. But you need to be careful about the element of theft that’s associated with solving peoples problems for them. You don’t want to offer too many pieces of advice while you're doing that because it turns out that people are much more likely to implement a strategy of improvement if they generate it themselves. Also you don’t steal the accomplishment from them of figuring things out for themselves.

Take notice of the things you tell yourself, how you talk to yourself , how you criticise yourself ?? The labels you give yourself ...., fat , lazy , ugly , useless......

Are they things you would say to family , friends, your kids ??? Imagine for a second how they would feel if you said the absolute worst things you say about yourself about them :(

We are often our own worst critics and enemies.

Give yourself a break for being human and give yourself credit for all that you are.

Blaming yourself , hating yourself , shaming yourself will only keep you stuck in a mindset that will not bring about change. Accept where you are right now and realise you can choose to start moving towards being in a different place, a more positive mindset, but that comes from being on your own side, of wanting to feel more comfortable in yourself and of being kind to yourself.You are worth it , You deserve to feel good about yourself.

We gaslight ourselves all the time. It’s that quiet voice of doubt that just sneaks up on you, without even realizing. ⁣
⁣
So if we oftentimes do it to ourselves, we won’t necessarily see a red flag when others in our environment does it to us. We miss the signs !!!

Set the bar with yourself and watch the rest of the world have no other choice but to follow. ⁣
⁣
⁣