13/10/2026
I threw a rock into a field and said it represented my unwanted patriarchal toxic conditioning and never for a moment thought it would reach the manosphere.
The mostly hostile comments keep falling into five themes:
🔷 Performative
🔷 Throws like a girl
🔷 Gay or submissive
🔷 Is this a joke or satire?
🔷 Feminism gone wrong
I’m not surprised. I grew up in professional football, and I heard every one of them and worse in the dressing room and on the terraces first.
bell hooks wrote that a man who won’t cut off his feelings can expect other men to enact “rituals of power that will assault his self-esteem”.
I lived that as a teenager, and I’ve written about it on my Substack. I have also reflected over the past 24 hours or so.
I think many of those comments are simply male subconscious rituals, not arguments. A way to release an emotional discomfort that’s hard to sit with because often no one showed them how.
I have compassion for that, even though I won’t tolerate abuse. I also won’t take it personally.
With so many troubling stories about men in the news right now, it’s clear how much systemic work there is to do, but I also feel there are seeds of hope.
For me, changing male culture from the inside doesn’t start with winning the argument. It starts when a man does something different, in public, and stays grounded while the room reacts.
More men are proudly taking a stand against the patriarchal grain, and I am cheering them all on. More women are refusing to carry shame that was never theirs, and I don’t take personally any rage that comes with that.
In my free Inner Edge masterclass, I ask, “What behaviours do you tolerate from other men?” Silence is a mask too.
To develop the confidence to speak up, you need the capacity to stay steady when others try to humiliate or silence you, and doing the inner work supports that.
If you watched silently but felt it, this one’s for you. Watch The Inner Edge privately on YouTube.
Link in bio.
No pressure or expectations.
