The Haven, Overton

One of the biggest worries before GCSE results day can be:

“What if I don’t get the grades I need for college?”

If that thought is going round and round in your head, you are definitely not the only one.

It can feel as though everything depends on those numbers — the course you wanted, the college you chose, the plan you’ve had in your head for months.

But results day is not always as final as it feels.

If your grades aren’t quite what you hoped for, colleges may still be able to talk through different options with you. That might mean a different level of course, resitting a subject alongside your course, looking at an alternative qualification, or finding another route altogether.

And sometimes the route changes completely.

That can feel disappointing at first, especially if you had your heart set on one particular plan. You’re allowed to feel that.

But a changed plan is not the same as a failed future.

You do not need to have your whole life worked out at 16.

There are many ways forward — and one set of GCSE results does not get to decide everything that comes next. 💛

It’s 4:47pm.

Someone is asking what’s for dinner.

Someone else is shouting from another room.

There are shoes in the hallway, cups on the side, washing that needs putting away and something sticky on the kitchen floor that you don’t remember spilling.

Your phone buzzes.

There’s a work message you haven’t replied to.

You suddenly remember the bill that needs paying.

The fridge looks suspiciously empty.

And now two children are arguing about something that, objectively, probably isn’t very important…

…but your whole body reacts as though it is.

“PLEASE. JUST STOP.”

And then comes the guilt.

Because you didn’t want to shout.

You know they’re tired too.

You know they’re not deliberately trying to make things difficult.

But you are also a person.

And sometimes there are just too many things happening at once.

The noise.

The mess.

The constant questions.

The mental list running in the background.

What are we having for dinner?

Have I replied to that email?

How much money have we spent this week?

Who needs clean uniform?

Did I book that appointment?

What am I forgetting?

For neurodivergent parents especially, sensory overload and the sheer amount of executive functioning involved in family life can be enormous.

You can love your children completely and still find the noise unbearable.

You can understand their needs and still have needs of your own.

You can know all the right strategies and still reach a point where your brain simply says, *enough*.

Sometimes the answer isn’t becoming more organised.

Sometimes dinner is cereal.

Sometimes the washing stays in the basket.

Sometimes everyone gets separate screen time because the house needs to be quiet for twenty minutes.

Sometimes you cancel the thing that doesn’t really need doing.

Sometimes you put headphones on while making tea.

Sometimes “good enough” has to be good enough.

Because parenting isn’t only about regulating children.

Parents need regulation too.

And if everything feels too loud, too messy, too expensive, too busy and too much…

it might not mean you’re doing a bad job.

It might simply mean you’ve been carrying too much, for too long, without enough space to recover.

I’ve seen a huge amount of anger following The Great ADHD Myth? — and I understand why.

When ADHD children and adults already spend so much time having their difficulties questioned, a programme asking whether ADHD itself is “real” was always going to feel deeply uncomfortable and, for some, genuinely harmful.

So this isn’t a defence of the programme.

I don’t think ADHD needed to be put on trial.

But I also don’t want us to lose some important conversations simply because they appeared inside a badly framed documentary.

There are things we should be able to talk about.

Medication can be hugely helpful. It can support attention, impulse control, emotional regulation, executive functioning and the ability to pause before reacting. For some people it is genuinely life-changing.

For others, the benefits are more mixed. Some experience side effects. Some don’t feel quite like themselves on a particular medication or dose. Some decide it isn’t right for them.

That doesn’t make medication good or bad. It means treatment needs to be individual.

But medication is only one part of the picture.

Environment matters too.

And this is perhaps the question I keep coming back to most:

If we accept that a child really does have ADHD, shouldn’t we also be designing environments around the brain they actually have?

If a child needs movement, struggles with prolonged sitting, finds sustained adult-directed attention exhausting, is overwhelmed by noise, needs more autonomy or learns best through interest and activity, how much of our intervention should be about helping that child tolerate the environment?

And how much should be about changing the environment?

We might ask:

How can we support this child to cope better in the classroom?

But surely we should also be allowed to ask:Is this classroom, in this form, for this length of time, actually working for this child?

That is not the same as saying ADHD children shouldn’t be in classrooms.

It is saying that physical presence and apparent compliance should not automatically be our measure of success.

Perhaps the goal shouldn’t be to make an ADHD child look indistinguishable from a non-ADHD child.

Perhaps the goal should be to help that individual child live, learn, regulate and feel well.

Better emotional regulation? Great.

More ability to pause before acting? Great.

Less internal chaos? Great.

Being able to follow through on things they actually want to do? Great.

Stronger relationships? Great.

But if our main measure of success becomes *“they can now sit quietly through the lesson”*, I think we should be asking whether we are measuring the right thing.

So yes, I understand the anger about the programme’s framing.

But once we have challenged that framing, I hope we can still have the harder conversations about diagnosis, medication, environment, education and support.

We can say ADHD is real and still ask whether some of the systems around ADHD children need to change.

Those two things are not in conflict.

GCSE results anxiety can start long before results day.

The checking.
The imagining.
The “what if I’ve failed?”
The comparing yourself to everyone else before anyone even knows what their results are.

For some young people, the waiting can feel worse than the actual day.

If that’s you, try to remember this:

Your brain is trying to prepare you for uncertainty by running through every possible outcome. That doesn’t mean those outcomes are going to happen.

And whatever is written on that piece of paper, there will still be options.

There are different courses. Different colleges. Different qualifications. Different routes into work and further study. Retakes, Functional Skills, apprenticeships, vocational pathways and routes you may not even know about yet.

GCSEs can influence the next step.

They do not decide the whole of your future.

So for now, you do not need to solve every possible version of results day in your head.

One day at a time. One step at a time.

You are still you, whatever those grades say. 💛

And a little something for the young people who didn’t have A-Level results this week. 💛

The ones who took a different route.

The ones who left school earlier than planned.
The ones doing vocational courses, apprenticeships or Functional Skills.
The ones learning outside of school.
The ones whose education has been interrupted by anxiety, burnout, illness or circumstances completely outside their control.
The ones who are working, volunteering, creating, recovering, figuring things out — or simply not ready for the next step yet.

Results week can make it feel as though everyone your age is moving forward at exactly the same time.

They’re not.

There is no single timeline for becoming an adult.
There is no one qualification that proves your intelligence, potential or worth.
And there is no deadline by which you have to have your future figured out.

Some paths are straight. Some wander. Some stop for a while and begin again.

Your journey still counts.

You haven’t been left behind. You’re just taking your own route. 🌿

Now the A-Level results news has had a few days to settle… how are you feeling? 💛

The initial rush of results day has passed. The messages have slowed down, the social media posts have moved on, and perhaps you’ve had a little more space to process what those results actually mean for you.

Maybe you’re still celebrating. Maybe plans have changed. Maybe you’re feeling disappointed, relieved, uncertain, excited — or all of those things at once.

Sometimes it’s only after the big day that the emotions really catch up with us.

So this is just a gentle reminder that your results are one small part of your story.

They don’t measure your creativity, resilience, humour, kindness, curiosity or everything you have overcome to get this far.

And if the path ahead now looks different from the one you imagined, that doesn’t mean you’ve failed. There is rarely only one route to where you want to go.

A few days on, give yourself permission to feel whatever you’re feeling.

And remember: you are so much more than a set of grades. 💛

It’s the summer holidays.

They’ve been together since breakfast.

One wanted the blue cup.
The other sat in *their* spot on the sofa.
Someone changed the TV channel.
Someone breathed too loudly. 😅

And suddenly they’re arguing over a game controller as though their entire relationship depends on it.

From the outside, it can look ridiculous.

*Why are they fighting over that?*

But sometimes… it isn’t really about the controller.

It’s the heat.
The boredom.
The hunger.
The tiredness.
The lack of routine.
The constant togetherness.
The fact that everyone has been in everyone else’s space for days.

For neurodivergent children especially, the summer holidays can be a strange mix.

There’s relief from school pressures and demands…

…but also less structure, more unpredictability, different routines and a LOT more time with siblings.

And sometimes their tolerance for each other just runs out.

That doesn’t necessarily mean we need to force an apology straight away or insist they “play nicely”.

Sometimes everyone needs a reset first.

A drink.

A snack.

Ten minutes apart.

Headphones.

A quiet activity.

One child upstairs and one downstairs.

A bit of time outside.

And suddenly the thing they were screaming about twenty minutes ago doesn’t seem quite so important.

There have definitely been times when I’ve caught myself trying to solve the *argument* when what actually needed solving was the **overload underneath it**.

Sibling conflict is normal.

Neurodivergent siblings can love each other fiercely and still desperately need space from one another.

Sometimes the kindest thing we can do isn’t make them get along.

It’s give them enough space that getting along becomes possible again.

**More space. Less pressure. Big difference.** ❤️

Thanks to some incredibly kind donations, our **mobile sensory space is starting to come together**. 💛

So far, your support has helped us purchase a **sensory light box** and some lovely **bean bags** — simple things that can make such a difference when a child or young person needs somewhere comfortable, calming and a little removed from the noise and bustle of an event.

My next target is **£100 towards the gazebo**, which will give us the actual sheltered space to bring everything together and create our little sensory haven wherever we go.

The aim is to build a **mobile sensory space that can be taken to community events**, giving children and young people somewhere to regulate, decompress, take a break and hopefully feel able to stay and enjoy events that might otherwise feel overwhelming.

Every donation genuinely helps us add another piece. And if donating isn’t possible, sharing the Crowdfunder is just as appreciated — the more people who see it, the closer we get. 🌿

Thank you so much to everyone who has supported it already. Seeing the equipment beginning to arrive makes the whole idea feel very real. 💛

👉 https://www.crowdfunder.co.uk/p/qr/6ymdeg8n?utm_campaign=sharemodal&utm_medium=referral&utm_source=shortlink

ADHD brains can be incredible at making connections.

A conversation, an idea, a random fact from three years ago… suddenly they all link together.

That can look like creativity, quick thinking, humour, problem-solving and seeing possibilities that other people might miss.

ADHD isn’t just about distraction.

Sometimes it’s about a brain that notices **too many interesting things at once** — and occasionally creates something brilliant from the connections between them. ❤️

Don't forget I'll be joining Mental Health Walks Basingstoke this morning. We are meeting at 10 outside Waitrose in Basingstoke (not the car park entrance). I'd love it if some of my followers would like to join us.