23/09/2026
WHAT DOESN’T BREAK YOU CAN MAKE YOU STRONGER
This afternoon, I had a great conversation with one of my former teammates at Crystal Palace, George Ndah. We spoke about some of our experiences, and I found myself reflecting on some of the things I went through during my time at Palace.
Looking back, I experienced unfair treatment from management, as well as jealousy and envy from other players. You could even describe some of it as attempts at bullying and intimidation.
It really made me think. I’ve faced so much rejection, jealousy and envy over the years, and I’ve always had to fight.
George asked me, How have you managed to deal with so much adversity over the years?
As I thought about it, one phrase came to mind:
What doesn’t break you can make you stronger.
A lot of those experiences really did make me stronger. They weren’t nice at the time, but they helped to shape me.
One thing I reflected on was the love of my parents. From childhood, I genuinely felt their love, encouragement and belief in me. That helped to develop a boldness and confidence in who I was, as well as in the skills and gifts I had. It gave me the strength to stand up for myself and hold my ground during some very challenging moments.
But looking back, there were also times that were extremely difficult. I remember coming home and crying because I felt I was being treated so unfairly by a manager at one of my clubs. As mad as it may sound, the situation felt so unjust that it completely overwhelmed me.
However, when I look back now, those experiences have been part of the making of my life. Nothing has ever simply dropped into my lap. I’ve had to work hard, graft, dig in and keep going against the odds.
My conversation today reminded me that some of the rejection, jealousy and envy I’ve experienced from others have helped to mould me into the person I am today.
However, that doesn’t excuse the behaviour of the people who dished out some of those things. It wasn’t right, and it wasn’t acceptable. I’ve known other players who have experienced similar treatment, and it has seriously affected their confidence and mental health, creating real challenges in their lives.
Everyone is different, but for me, my faith has always given me confidence and boldness. Regardless of what people may think or say, I know that God has me covered and that, by His grace, I will come out on the other side.
And I always have.
I said to my brother last week, and I shared the same thing with George today, that since turning 50, I’ve cried so much in different situations whether I’m preaching, teaching or speaking. I’ve become very emotional, but it has been positive emotion rather than something negative.
I’ve simply become more sensitive to people’s needs and to different situations and circumstances. Sometimes, those emotions get the better of me but in a good way.
Today’s conversation with George really blessed me. I’m incredibly grateful to God for what He has done and for everything He has allowed me to accomplish in my life.
Sometimes, it takes a conversation to trigger your thoughts and make you realise:
Wow, you’ve been through a lot but you’ve also overcome a lot and achieved a lot.
That really blessed me.
Maybe someone reading this is going through a difficult time right now. Listen: don’t allow it to break you. Let it make you stronger. Allow it to refine you, mould your character and help you become a better person.
It is possible because I’m a living witness to it.
