12/08/2018
What hinders someone from going to counselling?
A leading counselling journal has suggested that only one third of people who could benefit from counselling actually seek out such help.
The research suggested that this is often due to misconceptions of counselling- what it is and what it is for. Many folk mistakenly believe it is a sign of weakness or mental illness if they seek out
support. Or perhaps a belief that there is no point in talking to someone about the issues affecting them. Stereotyped ideas of sitting in a chair or lying on a couch while the counsellor "just listens" or the idea that it is "self absorbed navel gazing". Neither of these are accurate reflections of what going to see a counsellor is like . T.V fiction does little to reflect the reality of what counselling is like either.
The article also claimed that many people's biggest fear was self disclosure- telling someone about their difficulties or struggles and fear of being vulnerable.
What this means for each person can be different . Perhaps it could be hard to admit that we need support. We all like to feel we can manage and cope, this gives us a sense of being in control of our lives. However some times in life; circumstances and life events can overtake us leading to all sorts of feelings and thoughts we have never experienced before. Both external life events or internal patterns of thinking, feeling or relating can cause us distress at certain periods of life.
During these times our usual coping mechanisms can seem to fail us. At such times it is not a weakness to seek help but a sign of strength and commitment to work through difficulties and gain new perspectives.
As well as my private practice I work part time in schools counselling children, I am encouraged that the young people coming for counselling support don't appear to feel these same hindrances, with equal numbers of boys and girls seeking help. I am hopeful and optimistic that future generations will see seeking support as normal rather than trying to cope alone through life's challenges.
Counselling can offer a structured, non-judgemental relationship of trust and confidentiality with someone who is trained to listen, facilitate and help you evaluate new perspectives in order to bring about change. It can be challenging and this is important because without challenge there is less likelihood of change, however this is never confrontational or pressured but always puts the client at the centre and in the control of the process and their choices with full acceptance of the client's autonomy. Yes- sometimes it can be painful and change can be difficult but counselling offers warmth, acceptance, empathy and respect. Indeed it is a privilege to be able to walk alongside someone through their difficulties.
If you think counselling could help you, don't let misconceptions put you off coming. An initial assessment brings no obligation to continue if you find it is not for you and you are always in control. If I can be of help please get in touch with me on 07545311982 or email [email protected]
