23/09/2022
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Your future, within reach-l
I decided to take a break and it was the best thing I have done in a long time. During this time, I practiced better self-care, socialized with friends, family and attended my son’s graduation. I said yes to all social engagements, and it was life affirming!
This was an opportunity to pause, think and reflect on where my career was going, and the answer came to me while sleeping. I needed to start my own coaching business. (More on this later).
When I was at school everyday was hard, bullied for 5 years for my ethnicity, being too clever, too thin, having a monobrow (I have tamed this now add laughing emoji), even for not being ready to wear a bra. I did not belong! But they say God loves a trier, so I tried every day to win people over. My strategy was to bring apples into school from our tree in the garden. When people ate apples, I was allowed to join in. However, inclusion was temporary, conditional. Exclusion was a tough and painful lesson to learn at 11 years old. It taught me never to judge anyone. I became a people pleaser, trying to stay on the right side of not being beaten up. On the plus side I learnt many of the people skills I use today.
Academically, I was streamed into a non (GCSE) group. Not realising the significance of this until year 4 when we had to select our GCSE subjects. I was told that I couldn’t sit any, and I would have to complete CSEs instead. These exams were a lower tier than GCSE’s. So, my dad and I went to see the principal to persuade the school to create an additional class who would also sit GCSEs.
I sat the exams, and the results were not what I’d hoped, but what I had expected. I walked away with just two CSE grade 1s (C grade GCSE equivalent). Whilst I felt disappointed, in my heart, I knew I didn’t want to go onto study A Levels. I knew I was more practically minded and liked to learn what I could apply.
I had to get a few more GCSEs first and the good news is I excelled at the vocational (BTEC) Business and Finance course; I loved it. What I was noticing though at exam time, I had no confidence in my ability to pass. Whilst my coursework was good. I had failed before I even sat any exams. I attributed this in later years to how I saw myself, slightly less than, someone who tried but didn’t prevail, someone who didn’t fit in. That was my narrative. I developed a strong and loud critical inner voice. I realised I needed to change my inner narrative if I wanted to achieve my goals. I am pleased to say I managed to do this with the help of a good coach and while coaching others I reflected on the questions I was asking others.
What I would love to hear is how other people have overcome such events or situations? If you’re a parent, how are you helping your children navigate these already carved out paths to follow (GCSEs, A-Levels, University). As I have shown there are other roads to travel. My early years had some positive and negative influences on me, but they did not define me.
