Ralph Williams MAC - Life Coach

Life coaching is a structured and practical way of making positive changes to all areas of your life. Personal life coaching for south Hertfordshire and north London.

As the leading life coach and well-respected mentor based in Abbots Langley, Hertfordshire my personal mission is to help people who live or work in Abbots Langley, Hunton Bridge, Watford, Bushey, Leavesden, Garston, Bedmond, Hemel Hempstead, Leverstock Green, St Albans, Chiswell Green, Croxley Green, Rickmansworth, Chorleywood, London Colney, Park Street, north London and surrounding areas make b

Operating as usual

05/05/2021

How to Overcome your Worries and Fears

It’s human nature to worry, but did you know that a research project at Penn State University found that 91% of what people worry about never actually happens? In other words, most of your fears never come true.

However, that still leaves 9% of worries that do come true but, fortunately, the same research revealed that on these occasions 70% of people found they handled the situation better than they had expected and/or they learned something valuable from what happened. In other words, their fear had been worse than the actual situation.

Always remember that, like you, everyone worries and experiences fear - but most of those fears never materialise! When they do they will rarely be as bad as you imagined, you’ll handle them better than you expected and you’ll often learn something useful along the way.

There’s no single ‘magic bullet’ that will overcome your worries and fears and stop them from ruining your life but here are three strategies that may help.

Embrace your fear. The Swiss psychologist Carl Jung believed that “What you resist not only persists but will grow in size.” The more you shy away from your worries and fears the more they will grow and come to dominate your life. But once you acknowledge and accept them for what they really are they will shrink and lose their hold on you.

Reframe your fear. Many people are habitual ‘catastrophisers’, always assuming the worst will happen. If you find yourself thinking like this remember that 91% of fears never come true, start thinking about the BEST possible outcome, and then focus your imagination on exploring that scenario.

Develop your courage. Just like any skill, courage starts small and becomes bigger and stronger the more you use it. Practice removing worry from your life one fear at a time and, each time you do, your courage will grow.

When it comes down to it we don’t have much control over the good and bad things that happen to us. But two things we can control are our mind-set and our response to circumstances. Facing up to your fears is a sure way of overcoming them so why not start right now? Acknowledge a fear that’s worrying you, embrace it, reframe it and overcome it with your new-found courage. Gradually remove your fears one by one and you’ll be free to enjoy life again.

How to Overcome your Worries and Fears

It’s human nature to worry, but did you know that a research project at Penn State University found that 91% of what people worry about never actually happens? In other words, most of your fears never come true.

However, that still leaves 9% of worries that do come true but, fortunately, the same research revealed that on these occasions 70% of people found they handled the situation better than they had expected and/or they learned something valuable from what happened. In other words, their fear had been worse than the actual situation.

Always remember that, like you, everyone worries and experiences fear - but most of those fears never materialise! When they do they will rarely be as bad as you imagined, you’ll handle them better than you expected and you’ll often learn something useful along the way.

There’s no single ‘magic bullet’ that will overcome your worries and fears and stop them from ruining your life but here are three strategies that may help.

Embrace your fear. The Swiss psychologist Carl Jung believed that “What you resist not only persists but will grow in size.” The more you shy away from your worries and fears the more they will grow and come to dominate your life. But once you acknowledge and accept them for what they really are they will shrink and lose their hold on you.

Reframe your fear. Many people are habitual ‘catastrophisers’, always assuming the worst will happen. If you find yourself thinking like this remember that 91% of fears never come true, start thinking about the BEST possible outcome, and then focus your imagination on exploring that scenario.

Develop your courage. Just like any skill, courage starts small and becomes bigger and stronger the more you use it. Practice removing worry from your life one fear at a time and, each time you do, your courage will grow.

When it comes down to it we don’t have much control over the good and bad things that happen to us. But two things we can control are our mind-set and our response to circumstances. Facing up to your fears is a sure way of overcoming them so why not start right now? Acknowledge a fear that’s worrying you, embrace it, reframe it and overcome it with your new-found courage. Gradually remove your fears one by one and you’ll be free to enjoy life again.

[02/18/21]   Change Your Stories and Change your Life

Did you know that the average person has about 70,000 thoughts per day? And that, surprisingly, about 65,000 of those thoughts are the same as the ones they had yesterday.

But why are so many of them repeat thoughts? Well, it’s because the vast majority of those thoughts exist to reinforce the ‘stories’ they tell themselves and live their lives by.

Whilst many of the stories we tell ourselves help to make our lives a little easier, unfortunately many more of them negatively limit our confidence, our choices and our opportunities. So in order for us to get what we really want in life we need to change those negative stories we tell ourselves. And, while it may feel a little uncomfortable at first because it is a new and different way of talking to ourselves, the results can literally change our lives.

There are various different ways you can do this, including practising mindfulness and meditation but here are 2 simple ways to start changing those negative stories:

1. Stop complaining
Easily said, I know, but with a bit of practice it becomes easy to do as well. When you see something you disapprove of or something goes wrong and you feel yourself about to complain stop and take a mental step back. Is it really that important? Is it really the end of the world … or just inconvenient? Is it even really my problem? This will give you the mental space to start developing different stories and thinking positively.

2. Tell yourself some new stories
When you hear yourself repeating the same old stories about why you can’t do something or you can’t stand someone just stop! Those stories aren’t doing you, or anyone else, any good. Instead start looking at them from a different angle and think about possible solutions. There’s always something positive you can do – even if it’s to realise that, in the bigger scheme of things, it really doesn’t matter and your story becomes ‘I just walked away’!

So tomorrow, when you have another 70,000 thoughts, many in the form of stories, make sure you only listen to the ones that can change your life for the better.

[01/20/21]   Do you wake up each day with a feeling that nothing ever changes and you are just treading water or, worse still, going backwards?

Here’s a tip that works well for many people. Keep a notebook by your bed or in your home office. Every day, when you are winding down from the day or just before you get into bed pick up your notebook and write down three or four things you did today to get you closer to your goals. Then write down three or four things you want to get done tomorrow.

When you wake in the morning re-read what you wrote the previous night. You’ll find yourself feeling motivated and starting the day with a plan to keep you moving forward - all worked out for you by your mind while you slept.

[10/30/20]   Experts agree that a little stress is a good thing but, as with all things, you can have too much of a good thing.

Too much stress can be debilitating, and the worst stress often occurs when you feel out of control. Obviously, you can’t always control the things that are stressing you but you can control how you think about them and the way you react to them. The way you think about things has a major effect on the way you feel about them. Once you change how you think, you can change how you feel.

If you find yourself:
• feeling depressed, edgy, guilty, or tired a lot of the time
• having headaches, stomach-aches, or trouble sleeping
• laughing or crying for no reason
• blaming other people when bad things happen to you
• only seeing the downside of situations
• feeling that things you used to enjoy aren’t fun anymore
• resenting your responsibilities
• feeling like giving it all up
… it could well be that you have too much stress in your life.

If this is the case, these tips may help you take back control of your life:

• List all the things that are causing you stress
Think about your friends, family, work, studies and social activities. Think about how each one affects you and then accept that you can’t control everyone or everything on your list.
• Take control of what you can
For example, if you never have enough time to get everything done stop and think about your day and see what you can change – your routine, your journey, the time you get up, your social activities etc.
• Don’t over-commit yourself
If you’re already too busy or too tired, stop and think before you take on more commitments and stress. Practice saying ‘no’ to all those time-consuming requests.
• Go easy on yourself
Remember, you can’t always be right or know it all. You can’t make everyone in your life happy all the time. And always remember, it’s okay to make mistakes now and then!
• Talk to someone
Talking to your friends or family can help. It gives you a chance to think things through, express your feelings and then put things into perspective. But, of course, problems in your social life or family can be the hardest to talk about – particularly to someone who knows you. So if you feel you can’t talk to your family or a friend, try talking to someone outside of the situation - someone who'll listen and be committed to helping you find happiness. Perhaps someone like a good life coach?

14/09/2020

Change your entire life one step at a time

Sometimes it seems like nothing works the way it should. At some time or another, almost everyone reaches the point where work is no fun or their relationship is a constant struggle and they find themselves thinking “I can’t go on, something has got to change”.

At times like this, when you feel trapped and overwhelmed, changing your life can seem impossible. But there is a simple and very effective way to start… change just one small thing.

Listen to a different radio station, take a different route to work, read a magazine article that you’d never normally consider looking at or eat in a new type of restaurant. Every little change of mental or physical scenery can change your perspective and shift the way you see things and has the potential to ultimately transform your life.

It’s like flying a plane… if you change your course by even one degree, an hour or so later you’ll find yourself landing at a completely different airport.

Every journey starts with a few steps – change the next few steps you take and you can change the direction of your life’s journey. Frustration can be changed to understanding, jealousy to gratitude and bitterness to contentment. When you approach a problem from a different direction the chances are you’ll arrive at a different solution.

So, if you “can’t go on like this” and “something has to change” take heart. There’s no need to try and change your entire life all at once, you can just start by changing just one small thing. And the best part of it is - if you don’t like the new version of your life you can always change back to your old life or make another small change or two and explore another course for your life.

03/07/2020

Have a plan, but enjoy the journey as well as the destination...

Clients often say to me that they want to improve some aspect of their life, whether it's their self-confidence, a relationship or their work/life balance. My reply is always the same - the first thing we need to do is to define 'improve' in this particular instance. What is your self-confidence, relationship or work/life balance going be like once you've improved it?

Unless you have a clear picture of how things are now and can describe, in detail, what they will be like when you have improved them, it's unlikely that you're ever going to achieve the change that you're looking for.

Think of it like setting off on a journey without a map and with no particular place to go. It might be fun, but you shouldn't be surprised if you go round in circles and never arrive anywhere new!

If there is a particular aspect of your life that you'd like to improve why not start by noting down how the situation is at the moment and then describing, in detail, how you want it to be in a month's time. Then list all the actions you could take to achieve this change and start by doing them one by one. Don't worry too much about getting it absolutely right first time - the important thing is to have a clear destination for your journey and accept that a few detours along the way may well be all part of the fun!

[06/11/20]   You already have the answers that are right for you...

I was recently looking back through past client files and was reminded how many clients initially assume that my job is to simply sit there and tell them what they should do to overcome the issues that have brought them to life coaching. Our sessions roughly follow the same pattern... once we have clarified their situation and the issues to be resolved they invariably say "What's the answer Ralph? What should I do?"

In turn, I always answer along the lines of "Only you know that. I know what I would do but I'm not you and the answers that are right for me won't necessarily be the right answers for you. But don't despair! You do have the answers that are right for you, they're just buried deep inside you. And fortunately, I have the right questions that will help you discover those right answers!"

In many ways this sums up what successful coaching is all about. There's a vast difference between simply telling someone what to do, and helping them decide what to do for themselves. When clients come up with their own answers they are much more likely to take action and see things through to successful conclusions.

So maybe next time you're facing a problem, instead of asking someone to tell you what to do, try challenging yourself to come up with ten different answers and decide which ones to act on. Or maybe ask for some help from a life coach!

[03/28/20]   Coronavirus (Covid-19) Coaching Update...

Life coaching is all about helping people find ways to change their lives for the better. Whether it's coping with working from home, increasing self-esteem and self-confidence, reaching a personal goal, dealing with a life-changing situation, finding a new career or a better work/life balance, or any of the many other problems and worries facing everyone today, life coaching can almost certainly help.

Life coaching provides a structured process of support, motivation and accountability that helps you break through your limiting beliefs and self-doubts. It empowers you to bridge the gap between where you are now and where you want to be and enables you to reach your goals and achieve your personal and career ambitions with confidence.

And that help, guidance and support doesn’t have to stop just because of the coronavirus pandemic. In fact, it’s becoming even more essential for many people! While the current Covid-19 restrictions are stopping almost everyone from travelling I am coaching all my current and new clients via Skype, Zoom and other video conferencing aps.

If you’d like to explore how life coaching can help you make sense of your current situation and make the most of the future not find out more with a free half-hour exploratory Skype, Zoom or phone call where we can discuss what you want out of life and the ways in which I can help you get it. This meeting is completely free and there is no obligation to take things further – just call 01923 449664 or email [email protected]

31/12/2019

Happy Holidays?

Posted: Dec 31, 2019

Christmas is a joyous, happy time for families… or so the adverts would have us believe. Everywhere we look there are images of happy, smiling people usually surrounded by happy, smiling children.

But what if the reality is very different for you? What if you’re smiling on the outside but feeling numb, or even crying, on the inside? More relationships end, and more families break up, over the Christmas holiday period than at any other time of the year.

If you’re feeling lonely and empty, or trapped and desperate to escape, now is the perfect time to take back control of your life. I can help you uncover what you really want and help you make 2020 the year you rediscover happiness, direction and purpose in your life.

Send an email to [email protected] or phone me on 01923 449664 to book a free, no-obligations exploratory meeting.

My Story

As a life coach I help people who want to change or improve their personal or business life. I coach my clients face-to-face, over the phone and also by e-mail and Skype.

I firmly believe in the unlimited potential of every individual and I am totally committed to my clients’ personal success. Together we question, challenge and overcome all the blocks that are holding them back and limiting their success.

As your life coach I will show you ways to develop the personal power you need to make life work for you. With active listening and positive questioning I will help you identify your own answers to the challenges in your life and support you as you take action to achieve your goals.

Location

Category

Products

Face to face personal life coaching and mentoring.
Skype, Zoom and telephone coaching and mentoring.
Corporate coaching.
Small business mentoring.
Senior management coaching.
Teen coaching.

Telephone

Address


3 Oak Green
Abbots Langley
WD5 0PG

General information

Life coaching enables you to bridge the gap between where you are now and where you want to be. It provides a structured process of support, motivation and accountability that enables you to break through your limiting beliefs and self-doubts and empowers you to reach your goals and achieve your ambitions. Everyone can benefit from life coaching if they want to. Personal life coaching can help you: - Boost your confidence and self-esteem - Clarify and focus on what you want in your life, why you want it, and how you can get it - Become more effective and achieve more than you ever thought possible - Understand the values and beliefs that guide you and influence your decisions - Get out of a rut, find direction and take control of your life - Create and live the balanced life you really want - Achieve happiness and fulfilment As a personal life coach my aim is help people make beneficial changes to the way they think and act so that they can achieve satisfying and rewarding lives. Typical issues my clients successfully challenge include: - Improving their self-confidence and increasing self esteem - Reducing the stress and worry in their life - Finding or changing the focus and direction of their life - Overcoming feelings of failure - Achieving their ambitions and dreams - Changing or improving their career and their income - Creating a healthy work/life balance - Improving their time management and personal organisation - Addressing personal or workplace relationships - Developing and enhancing latent skills and talents How I Coach: There are six core principles at the heart of my approach to the process of life coaching for personal success: - Respect - Honesty - Integrity - Commitment to your success - Confidentiality - Professionalism Every successful relationship needs mutal respect, honesty, integrity and commitment. Confidentiality is essential too because you need to be assured that you can be open and honest with me. And my professionalism will give you the confidence that I have the skills and experience to help you resolve the challenging situations in your life. But that's not all I can offer you. I promise that I will approach every coaching session with enthusiasm, a desire to help you improve yourself and a genuine belief in your ability to develop your potential to the full. Coaching You: I coach clients both face-to-face and by phone. If you want to change your life why not find out more with a free half-hour exploratory session or phone call where we can explore what you want out of life and the ways in which I can help you get it. This session is completely free and there is no obligation to take things further. To book your free session just call me on 01923 449664 or e-mail me at [email protected]

Opening Hours

Monday 10am - 7:30pm
Tuesday 10am - 7:30pm
Wednesday 10am - 7:30pm
Thursday 10am - 7:30pm
Friday 10am - 7:30pm
Saturday 10am - 1pm
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