Your Higest Self with Shanshan

You need to learn, to let others down.
Life Advice for High Achieving Empath :)
https://medium.com//you-need-to-let-others-down-027c9a5e358d

This is for you if you are always the one doing more work in the relationship.

Choosing a partner is not about the wealth or looks. It’s more about their personal qualities, with great personal qualities, they are more likely to have overall life satisfaction as well as materialistic success in the long run.

What I see most often in relationships is that people not only say things that would be most hurtful to their partner, out of protecting own inner child from feeling ashamed, abandoned or hurt, they also say the most hurtful things to their own inner child, day after day and constantly, telling them that they don’t deserve better, they either needs to fight or fawn.

It becomes to automatic and unconscious, until hitting a wall.

There are signs before a relationship would end and become unrepairable.

These are the signs that you should no longer try to fix the relationship or your partner.

What you need to do, is to heal yourself first.

More resources in bio!

Before an avoidant person start to actively work on themselves, they will look for everything outward, making it impossible for them to find a “perfect” partner to be in a relationship with.

When they can no longer get supply from you, initially they will try harder. But soon they will give up. Imagine they are like the 3 years old in kindergarten trying to attention by bullying others, if you don’t respond, they will stop.

Empathetic people also easily find people with BPD tendencies. It is an emotional draining experience as the person with BPD tendencies has no real sense of self and has extremely unstable emotions and fear for abandonment all the times. Something very small can set them off.