Rytis Luko - rytisluko.com

Rytis Luko - rytisluko.com Personal coaching. Learn to be in harmony with your sensitivity and feelings.

Dissolve blocks, fears and beliefs to discover inner clarity, simplicity and harmony inside.

Sometimes we say we want to trust life or God…And then, without even realizing it, in the next step we start to worry, s...
07/12/2024

Sometimes we say we want to trust life or God…

And then, without even realizing it, in the next step we start to worry, strive to do everything perfectly, and control the situation to make it “right,” because we feel unsafe.

Let me share a little about how we lose our sense of safety and what’s needed to make it obvious again. When fear strikes, it seems as if those thoughts and imagined scenarios about what might happen are telling us the real future.

After you react and start searching for a solution to your fear, it doesn’t even occur to you to pause and check if it’s actually true.

For example, one of my clients was terrified that her ex, whom she had broken up with just a few days prior, could show up at her home and attack her again.

The scenario was clear: he would come, yell, get angry, humiliate, blame her. And since this had happened before, it felt even more real to her.

The first thing I asked her to do was to feel the chair beneath her—just to notice that she was sitting in her room.

Then I began asking her to look around the room and see if her ex was actually there. Was the room safe at that moment?

After a few minutes, she stopped shaking, her body visibly relaxed, and her thoughts quieted down. She returned to reality.

What followed was an exploration of whether the real, tangible safety she was experiencing in that moment could be changed by what she thought or imagined.

After a few playful experiments like, “Now imagine…”—which still triggered some reactions, but the room clearly remained safe—she stopped reacting to her fantasies as though they were something she needed to escape from right now.

And after a few days spent in anxiety and trembling, she finally relaxed completely and calmed down. She started caring more about the factual, visible, and experienced reality.

When you connect with the obvious, tangible safety that is available right now — this very moment (if no one is attacking you as you read this :) — look around… Are you safe?

Then, space opens up to trust life or God, because you realise you don’t know what will happen, but you can remain open to the events as they unfold.

Because it becomes obvious that safety exists now, in every moment, even when…
- You get an unexpected bill.
- An email reminds you of something you forgot.
- Others are dissatisfied or critical.
- You feel misunderstood.
- Unsupported.
Write your “scary story” here :)

It becomes increasingly clear that your experience of safety does not depend on your feelings, thoughts, or imaginings.

You simply *are* safe.

And very, very rarely do you face real danger that requires immediate reaction — and when you did, you’ve handled it, because you’re reading these words now. ;)

So, if you want to trust life or God, start noticing how almost all the time you are safe — and this isn’t even a feeling. It’s the obviousness of being.

I promise, this will transform your relationship with yourself, your fears, and your life.

If you want to make use of this, simply set a few reminders on your phone: Look around. Am I safe right now?

If you’re ready to commit to this, comment below: “I choose safety.”

What's in common between a sandwich and the ability to say what you want and choose yourself?About 15 years ago, I went ...
06/10/2024

What's in common between a sandwich and the ability to say what you want and choose yourself?

About 15 years ago, I went to visit a friend at his “workplace” – the truck he used to drive. 🙂

After a bit of chatting, he offered me a sandwich from “Statoil”: “Would you like one?” – I consulted with my belly, and together we decided: “I do!”

I’m sitting there, satisfied, munching away, already halfway through the sandwich, and I notice these sad puppy eyes looking at me. I look at my friend more closely and realize he regrets giving it to me.

– You didn’t want to give me the sandwich?
– It’s my last one...
– So why did you offer it?
– I thought you’d refuse out of politeness.

By that point, I had already overcome that childhood virus of always saying I didn’t want anything out of politeness, and had started following the compass I had installed in my belly. 🙂 My compass says “yes” or makes this weird, indescribable sound that means NO.

We repeated this little scenario a few more times over the next year. It even became interesting to see if he would ever realize that he doesn’t need to offer if he doesn’t actually want to give.

And then the moment came again, we were hanging out somewhere, and he started to extend his hand, opening his mouth to offer something...

And suddenly, the hand went back, and his eyes lit up with realization:

– I know you – you’ll take it!
– Of course. Don’t you want to give it?
– I don’t want to, and I won’t. 😛
– Finally. 😀

It became easy to communicate with him because he became more genuine and finally started listening to his inner YES and NO.

One of the reasons we’re so afraid to ask for what we want, say what we want, and tell ourselves YES inside, is the habit we’ve developed over the years of trying to please others and look good and polite.

This turns into self-betrayal because then we say YES to things we don’t want and later feel guilty and/or angry at the person who asked, because we “couldn’t” say no.

This leads to fear because if you are often insincere, it starts to seem like others are too – that they’re just “being polite.” It feels like they will lie too and secretly dislike, hate, or gossip about you because you dared to ask, and they “couldn’t” say no.

By trying to protect yourself and others from what seem like bad feelings, you start holding back your desires, and create expectations, where you just quietly wait for people to “get it on their own” and then resentment builds when they don’t.

If you decide to choose yourself more often, it becomes clear that another person’s choice to pretend is their free will, and it’s not your job to “protect” them from that.

And then a miracle happens... It turns out that communicating openly and honestly is neither scary nor dangerous, and you start getting what you want much more often (cue the drums and trumpets to emphasize the climax), BECAUSE YOU SAID what you wanted. 🙂

What are your fears, excuses, and scenarios in your head when you withhold your honest YES or NO?
Where in your life is it scary to say what you want or don’t want?

Can you say NO to a 3 year old?It might be easy for you or it might be incredibly difficult, down right painful if your ...
05/10/2024

Can you say NO to a 3 year old?

It might be easy for you or it might be incredibly difficult, down right painful if your whole system was tuned to please people and avoid conflict.

One of my clients a few years back came into a session and she asked for help on dealing with anxiety, stress and feeling tired.

This seemed a bit unclear, so we started digging into what is the cause of her feelings. It turns out that most of it is about her 3 year old son.

She felt like she’s out of control and feeling anxious every morning, because she dreaded the situations that she imagined will happen during the day and that she might lose her temper and shout at him.

After a while it dawned on me that she imagined that her role as a mom is to basically give him everything and be ‘the best mom’ possible by pleasing all of his needs and desires.

And I asked her:
- Can you say no to him?
- I know it’s silly, but it’s really hard for me

The next thing we did I just asked her to look me in the eye and start saying NO, loudly and clearly

After 8 or 10 NO’s she just burst out crying and the dam broke loose. It turned out that she carried this fear of conflict, from her childhood and so every NO seemed like parents fighting again, like something she is not supposed to say or do.

This learned helplessness and hope of always being nice and making everyone happy, kept her stuck in fear, anxiety and made relationships feel heavy of all the expectations she had on herself.

Once saying NO was no longer linked to danger and we dealt with painful memories this opened up the courage to have healthy boundaries in relationships with people, including her son.

In the next few weeks her energy came back, her son was much calmer now and she started enjoying spending time with him.

If you resonate with this story I need your help.

I’m doing research on kind, empathetic, „nice“ people who are into pleasing people and feel anxious, overwhelmed, and stuck in a cycle of trying to make everyone else happy.
I would like to interview you to get to know more about your challenges, frustrations, dreams and goals.

This is purely for research purposes to be able to create something truly impactful in the future.

If you are open to talk, comment, dm me please or just register here https://rytisluko.com/register-mr/

And that’s probably the place where I should reassure you and tell you that I’m not going to sell you anything.

14/03/2023

Have you ever found yourself struggling with conflicts, regrets, and resentment?

Wouldn't it be amazing to find inner peace and resolve these issues once and for all?

Well, I've got something that might help!

This is the recording of a free webinar that took place in autumn 2020, and it's filled with practical tips and techniques to help you release conflict and find inner peace.

The webinar will guide you through the process of understanding your emotions and finding ways to work with them.

By practising what you learn in this webinar, you'll be able to absorb the knowledge and try it out for yourself.

And if you're really serious about experiencing peace, joy, and love in your daily life, I've got even more to offer. You can access a free practice sheet that will guide you through the process step by step.

The practice sheet can be found here: https://www.rytisluko.com/emotional-mastery-webinar

But that's not all. We also offer a free discovery call where we can dive even deeper into the topic and provide you with personalized guidance and support.

If you are ready to take the first step towards finding inner peace and resolving conflicts in your life, watch the webinar and practice sheet today.

Rytis

p.s. If you want to take it even further, sign up for the free discovery call at https://www.rytisluko.com/

25/02/2023

Struggling to find inner peace?

I did too, until I discovered simple techniques to release unresolved emotions.

My journey began when I realized that my struggles weren't due to a lack of knowledge; instead, it was because of unresolved emotions.

As a sensitive person, I had tried countless things and read many books without any success. This led to a sense of dread, with conflict always just around the corner.

A breakthrough came when I attended a retreat where I learned how to release emotions using simple techniques developed by Lester Levenson, an American physicist.

By using them in my daily life, I was able to find inner-peace and joy and experienced effortless success in many areas of life.

These techniques have been tested and experimentally confirmed at Harvard and New York universities, with more than 100,000 people worldwide already benefitting from them.

Moved by my own experience and transformation, I decided to share these tools and practices with the world.

Since 2013, I have been helping thousands of people all over the world by creating spaces where they can face uncomfortable emotions with courage and compassion.

My desire is to help people discover their own path to inner peace.

26/01/2023

There is no enemy within
(Only shadows we have not met)

Do you ever feel like you should be able to handle problems in a better way?

Only to fall right into undesired patterns creating unpleasant feelings and situations again, and again?

No matter how much you try to avoid or fix these problems, they eventually find a way back into your life.

Meet the shadow: the reason we do certain things in life without understanding why.

The shadow has its roots in past trauma, and what our minds reject or prefer us to believe.

It operates outside of your conscious awareness, in the form of unconscious and limiting beliefs.

This workshop will provide the knowledge, tools and practice that will enable you to have the courage to break free from being a victim of the past and experience true inner-peace and safety.

By following practical steps that have worked for thousands of people, you will have an opportunity to experience a transformational shift that will enable you to express yourself more boldly and connect more deeply with others.

The workshop registration is closed already.

A journey into self-discovery awaits you, and it can be found by exploring with openness and curiosity that which you fear most: rejection, failure, lack, conflict, pain and suffering.

18/01/2023

What is effective if it is hard to fall asleep or you are waking up at night?

After years of having clients struggle with insomnia and asking the same questions and me giving them the same advice I made the video so that it can reach more people.

I always observe two main reactions when client is having trouble with sleep:

1. anxiousness when evening is coming, because they are afraid that it will be hard to fall asleep.

2. Frustration, anger after waking up or not being able to fall asleep.

Usually it just takes turns and goes around - "Oh my god tomorrow is going to be awful, I will be so tired."
And then to "what is wrong, why I can't sleep, why now, why me..."

And over time I helped many people to deal with this to the point where they either started sleeping calmly or learned how to rest even if they stay awake a bit more than usual.

The sad part was seeing how stubborn some of them were to the point of asking for help and then completely not doing it - because it's too simple/stupid and 'it could not work'.

From my own experience while helping others what I found about having trouble sleeping is that it is mostly unresolved feelings coming up and begging for attention.

If we learn how to stay with the feelings and they have the space and time to be observed, felt and processed (Yes while laying at night in bed, because that's when you have them) - they resolve them selves naturally and calm, peace sets in.

So if you are struggling with it - please have patience, watch the video and try it with curiosity and openness.

P.S. If you feel like you need some personal assistance with this or something else feel free to register for a discovery call here https://www.rytisluko.com

07/01/2023

What to do when you don't know what to do?

We have been taught that there must be a right answer to every question and that someone knows that answer, it is written, already invented and if only we find it, then everything will be fine - it will be all right, it will be as I want, there will be no punishment, no pain or sadness.

Every time I see how a person faced with not knowing waits until he understands or until I tell him how "it should be" and then everything will be fine. And if you are given the freedom to not know, not to have an answer, the most common reaction is confusion, fear, sometimes to the point of panic.

Because I don't know - I SHOULD KNOW!!???

And the part that asks something like "What's wrong with me?" when life doesn't turn out to be fun and doesn't go as planned. It also triggers that there must be an answer, there must be something wrong with me. So strong that the next question doesn't even arise - What if everything is great with me? What new can I experience now? What do I have the opportunity to encounter and get to know in this moment?

"I don't know" can be a huge wide open gateway to a new, curiosity-driven experience of life, or the most difficult and painful moment where I shut down and contract because I HAD to know.

At this moment, look at that place in your life where there is "I don't know", where maybe there is doubt, confusion and definitely no clarity right now.

It may be that you don't like that part of the experience very much, if so, just notice that you don't like it and let it be as it is now.

Could you explore again and curiously exactly where you don't know and there is no clarity - since I don't know the "correct" option, could it be that all options are available? What if you renamed that space of not knowing for a moment to the unlimited potential of knowledge, the ability to choose....ANYTHING....without any right or wrong, good or bad.

What happens inside of you when I don't know opens the door to potential, to an array of choices?

And you know the funny thing is I DON'T KNOW what "must" happen to you because nothing has to happen except what already happened when you explored yourself.

Your answers and your experiences are happening with you right now. Opening the door to curious not knowing and the enthusiasm to explore that possibility in this moment, or curling up and tensing to await the punishment for not having an answer is a choice we can make again and again and again.

I do not know. How about you?

27/05/2022

How not to annoy people and have their support after starting to meditate or eat healthy.
What will help you to be supported while diving deep inside and making changes in your life.

"You do know that this is poison for your body?" many years ago I just said that to some friend who was drinking wine. I've done that not once or twice to people. It have happened around meat, alcohol and all kinds of unhealthy food.

For a few years I have had a period where I was a complete annoyance to the people around me after I became really interested in healthy eating and started making changes in my own life.

For a while I've a become "angry vegetarian" I would show my disapproval even the meat smelled awful for a while and yet it all passed. The funny thing is that 10 years later I even stopped being vegetarian.

Next stage was "spiritual", when I felt like I have found the holy grail that fits everyone and everything and so I tried to convert those around me to the new 'religion' of emotional releasing. The first year was really intense during the second year I became more reasonable.

That feeling inside when it seemed that I know the 'right' way, the right solution to the situation, how to help, how to save someone from pain and suffering. I felt it so strongly it seemed so real that I could not stop myself from saying something, teaching-preaching to them or helping without being asked to. Time to time I would realise that I went too far, but I was just not aware that all the helping, saving and healing is being done out of need to prove something to myself - that this is right, good, valuable and so on.

Ego got a new toy with which it tried to earn more love, attention and approval.

Later on I would observe how some of my clients would face really strong resistance from people around them especially families after starting to be interested in their emotions and spirituality. They would keep hearing "this is not helping you - look you are still angry, you did not change at all after doing this".

That phase where we just fall into spiritual pride and righteousness is deeply unpleasant to people around us. From that inner righteousness a lot of wanting to make them change in their thinking or actions happens.

It seems so simple "If only you would do how I want everything would be perfect"... who have not wished for that at least once in their relationships?

It would become so obvious when my clients would reach the next level of love and compassion when the same family that before said "oh you're doing that silly thing again..." would start to tell them "could you meditate and let it go I can already see that you become irritable". That would be a clear sign that the practise have started to changed their relationships for the better into more ease, simplicity, compassion.

People around enjoy being together more than before, because it's so much more pleasant to live around someone who is capable of forgiving and asking for it, who knows how to calm themselves and keep the peace. The one who learned to have their point of view while honouring other points of view without any need to win a philosophical battle.

Few days ago husband of my client asked her to give his gratitude to me. That was like his gift for me which shows that in a few months of working together his wife became easier and more pleasant to live with.

Whenever the practitioner starts to open and develop his or her compassion, when the acceptance stops being an expectation and transforms into a living expression of gentle understanding of different point of view and actions. The more peace there is in everyday situations the more people around are supporting it.

Freedom opens aliveness that blossoms with gentleness and love not because it has to be so, but because it is natural and honest. Support appears where it was missing before.

From my experience and point of view a path to this goes through accepting different aspects of your own self. That which is annoying in the other one is the rejected part of you. By opening and noticing that inner rejection of ourselves, unmet requirements, ideas of how it supposed to be and it's not and then allowing the space and time for that experience to happen inside we come back to peace with ourselves and those around us.

Through gentle attention inside you can realise that there is no enemy inside, just your own feelings and rejected parts of you that were judged as wrong. Going through this it becomes possible to actually experience and not just hear or read that all is love and all is you. To discover the love beyond feelings, that has no conditions, requirements or boundaries, love that can not be lost or gained because it is already you at the deepest level.

In order to practise this you can use these steps:

1. Ask yourself what actions, qualities, thinking is annoying you or seems unacceptable which you would like to change in someone around you?

2. Could you now imagine yourself acting, looking, feeling exactly as that person whom you want to change? Embody that for now.

3. Notice what is the reaction in the body sensations, emotions, thoughts that happens when you imagine that? When you become like that?

4. Could you acknowledge and allow all the reactions exactly as they are in this moment - all sensations, emotions, thoughts, all the mind's chatter?

5. If you experience the reactions just by using your imagination - so is the conflict with the other person or it is now happening inside of you?

6. Could you allow yourself at least for now to be like that softly? Could you invite that part of you to come back home and make some space for it so it is not rejected anymore?

7. Now simply check how do you feel when you think about the person who you wanted to change? If there is some charge, emotion or heaviness left simply repeat the steps again until you feel at peace and complete with yourself like that and the other person like they are.

Becoming at ease with different parts of ourselves we do not try to be 'nice' it brings back aliveness and experience of unconditional love is available and that attracts people like a nectar attracts bees. It brings fulfilment and joy.

I invite you to meet with yourself, to have the courage to look at your shadows and instead of trying to be 'nice' just be a live expression of compassion and love.

P.S. If you feel like you need some personal assistance with this feel free to register for a discovery call here https://brightstate.eu

17/05/2022

Sometimes I observe how people are 'trying' to let go, how they are trying to 'do it right' in any way that they image the right way should be. Just because they have a strong desire to change something.

Trying to make it 'better'. Then time to time they complain "Why it did not work as I wanted to, I have dreamed and wished for it so long? What did I do wrong?"

In this video you will find 3 practical points why even the strong desire for change does not bring the change. If you feel stuck somewhere and the change is not happening - watch it, use the key points and make new decisions.

And in this video you won't find 'another miracle way to get all you want' it's all about looking deeper into your self so that you can move forward and choose quality life.

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