01/05/2026
My dad always said, “Marriage and commitment are a choice,” and my mom always said, “Marriage takes work.”
I guess I always thought, quite naively, that once you find the RIGHT one, marriage was only ever going to be about love, and that love and passion would rule the day so much so, that “work” wouldn’t even be necessary.
Wellllllll…I finally understand what they meant!
What I actually discovered was that, if you are on a path of radical honesty, relentless self-examination and personal evolution, finding The One can often mean finding that person who will call you out on your shadows, demand authenticity and give you the space to truly show yourself, while sometimes triggering the s**t out of you!
The key difference between a conscious relationship and one that is not, is that there is an awareness and acceptance that the “calling out” is done out of love, and not malice, in order to help both partners grow and evolve, rather than to break the other one down and somehow “win.”
In the end, we are all products of our conditioning. We see things through the filter of what we learned from our parents as children, society, culture and media.
Understanding where all of this originates, and then having the courage to face it rather than go into defensiveness, victimhood or blaming, is a true Hero’s Journey.
I’m super curious to hear about what YOU have discovered in relationship!
As a trauma-informed NARM professional, Primal Inner Chid and Evolution coach, I’ve helped dozens of people (and especially men) break through the old patterns, belief systems and conditioning that have created struggle and strife in relationships for years.
If you’re looking for some help in this area, feel free to reach out!