12/05/2026
I made a mistake when giving feedback recently.
Someone disagreed with the written feedback I had given them, and my first reaction was not great.
Part of me wanted to say:
“I’m the reviewer. I’m right. You’re wrong.”
But that does not really help anyone learn.
So I stopped and asked myself:
Have I actually understood why this person made that choice?
That changed the whole conversation.
Once I acknowledged her perspective and explained the project context more clearly, the feedback landed much better.
It reminded me of something I often teach in class:
People do not only want feedback.
They also want to feel heard.
A phrase like this can completely change the tone:
“I understand why you approached it that way, but in this situation…”
That small shift can make feedback feel less like correction and more like collaboration.
I wrote a short article about what happened and some useful phrases you can use when someone disagrees with your feedback.
Link in the comments.