The School for Etiquette and Corporate Training Curacao

THE SECRET TO CONNECTION WITH ANYONE

Have you ever wondered why you are able to get on with some people, and why you aren’t able to get along with others? Why you feel so connected at times and yet, at other times can feel so disconnected? In this blog you will discover the secret to connection with anyone.

For a lot of people these powerful moments of connection happen spontaneously and quite by chance. And when they do, most people are never really aware of what they did in order to create that connection.

It happens in those moments, when you are able to share with someone an unvarnished story, your true thoughts or feelings, or even your deepest insecurities. In other words, the things that make you feel and appear vulnerable and quite frankly, real.

Yes, ladies and gentlemen, ‘vulnerability’ is one of the secrets to connection and it is extremely difficult to connect without it.

The problem is that we have been conditioned to think of vulnerability as weakness.

In the words of Karen Young, “We’ve made ourselves ‘strong’. We’ve toughened up, hardened up and protected ourselves from being hurt. We’ve protected ourselves from vulnerability and disallowed the surrender. Here’s the problem. When we close down our vulnerability we are shielded from hurt, but we are also shielded from love, intimacy and connection. They come to us through the same door. When we close it to one, we close it to all.”

In order to understand this better, you need to know that connection is based on a fundamental principle of the saying ‘People like people that are like themselves.’ Think about what makes you like your partner currently or your friends for that matter? Usually it’s because you have similar views and interests or shared life experiences. So with this idea of people liking people that are like themselves. Let me ask you this question – who is perfect?

The answer is no one perfect.

So if no one is perfect, and everyone is flawed, why do you people pretend to be perfect in the hopes that people will like them better if they appear to have no flaws?

This is your intervention…

If you would like to be able to create a connection with anyone you choose, it starts with learning how to express your vulnerabilities in a healthier way. Don’t shy away from it as a belief that you are exposing your weaknesses, but rather being brave enough to show people that you are not perfect and you don’t have all the answers. This gives them permission to do the same, and that is where connection lies.

Now that you know our little secret to finding endless depths of compassion and connection with others, I would like to leave you with a challenge.

Bonus Challenge:
Try it…Set the scene, take your partner for a wonderful dinner, pop open a bottle of wine, and share something with them that makes you truly feel vulnerable, and see what magic transpires. In fact, there is a questionnaire that is called, 36 Questions to Fall in Love. It is believed that to fall in love with someone or to build a closeness with someone, you need to foster mutual vulnerability. It’s actually a pretty fun exercise to do with your partner. I would encourage checking it out.

In closing, vulnerability is in fact quite the opposite of weakness, it in fact a strength. Having the humility to expose your vulnerabilities shows a true judge of someone’s character, someone who doesn’t try to lord their success and strength over you but welcomes you to share in their truth.

If you liked this article and would like to learn how to completely transform your communication style, and be able to build and enhance the relationships you already have, then perhaps you should try a course of our school.

SUSHI ETIQUETTE FOR BEGINNERS

If you’re an avid Sushi aficionado that knows their way around this exquisite cuisine or just a newcomer, much like myself, who has been curious as to whether or not they are dining the correct way. Then this article is for you.

We are going to be exploring the traditions and etiquette regarding the eating of sushi for beginners, by choosing the most important etiquette rules to know, to help you along your journey to enjoying Japanese cuisine.



Know your instruments!

Before we get to the actual sushi, it helps to know how to use your instruments first. Firstly don’t rub your chopsticks together. It’s considered an insult, suggesting the quality of the chopsticks was poor..

Secondly the etiquette rules of never pointing your cutlery at anyone, applies to chopsticks too.

Lastly, when passing food from one plate to another, use the blunt, higher end of your chopsticks which has not come in contact with your mouth and place it on your guest’s plate.

If you are not proficient in the skills of chopsticks, it is also acceptable to use your hands.



What to do with your soy sauce

Don’t drown the sushi in soy sauce. It overpowers the flavor of the fish. Make sure you are just dipping, rather than soaking the fish. Also, when it comes to adding wasabi put a little wasabi directly on the sushi, then dip the sushi in the soy sauce. The wasabi is actually used to kill parasites that exist in the fish. Those of you that enjoy sushi regularly should remember to deworm yourself often as these parasites can be fatal.



Ginger shouldn’t go on the sushi

Despite popular belief, the ginger that accompanies the sushi is actually a palate cleanser. It should be eaten between bites, not together with your sushi or sashimi.



Can sushi be finger food?

It is perfectly acceptable to eat sushi with your hands as sushi originally started off as finger food. However that being said it has become commonplace now to use chopsticks which is equally acceptable to eat sushi with.



Both sashimi and sushi must be eaten in one bite

Yes one big bite. It’s not correct to bite half the sushi, and then go back for more. If the piece is too big, do not be afraid to ask the chef to cut it in half for you.



Dip the fish, not the rice

When picking up nigiri sushi gently flip the piece so that you dip your sushi fish-side down into the soya sauce to prevent the rice from falling apart, but also to make sure the rice doesn’t absorb too much soy which can alter the taste.

Once dipped make sure the fish side of the nigiri makes contact with your tongue first so that you receive the desired taste.

Now that you know the basics, all that’s left is to get out there and put it into action. Which let’s be honest, is the best part.



If you enjoyed this article and want to learn more on the etiquette involved in dining, please contact us for our Fine Dining course.

8 SOCIAL ETIQUETTE MISTAKES YOU SHOULDN’T MAKE IN YOUR 20’S

So you’re in your 20s. It’s this confusing time when nothing seems to be set in stone, and yet you feel like you’re expected to have everything figured out and ready to go. As someone who is on the latter half of their 20s, here are 10 social etiquette mistakes I’ve made, and noticed how counter-intuitively they can impact your future success in life.

Inviting another guest to an event – No matter what the occasion, you should always ask your host before you bring someone who wasn’t specifically invited along to an event. If someone is hosting an event, usually they cater for all those they have invited, and by inviting another guest you could be placing an additional, possibly financial, burden on the host.

Forgetting to RSVP – As busy as our everyday lives have become, it’s often difficult to schedule a date far in advance for fear of something else popping up. Well part of getting older is learning to keep a schedule and sticking to the social contract of going to the events that you accepted invites to. Not only this, but you should actually reply and not leave your friends waiting on a response from you.

Not bringing something to a party – While it’s safe to assume that your host isn’t expecting you to bring a prepared dish or enough wine for everyone at their party, showing up empty-handed is a mistake. If you’ve been invited to an event, bring something to show your appreciation. It could be anything from a bottle of wine, flowers or even chocolates.

Not offering to clean up after someone cooks – So this particular social grace is not common place for most. However just because you didn’t cook, doesn’t mean you shouldn’t at least offer to clean. Think about it, if someone was gracious enough to prepare a meal for you, the least you could do is offer to wash the dishes afterward. Assuming that someone will both cook and clean is a sure-fire way to ensure you aren’t invited to their next dinner party.

Not Introducing People – We’ve all encountered those awkward situations when you’re with a friend and you run into someone whom you friend doesn’t know. Due to the spontaneity of it all you totally forget to introduce your friends to one another and just jump straight into conversation, leaving the third party casually waiting around for you to finish. This can make everyone involved feel very uncomfortable, or worse, make them feel like you don’t think they’re worth introducing. If you can’t remember your friend’s name, simply introduce the friend’s name that you do know. You can say: ’This is my friend, Sharon.’

Tipping too little – Whether tips are expected or not, it doesn’t mean you can skip it. Most of the time your waiter/waitress is counting on that money to support themselves. Not to mention that failing to tip appropriately in front of friends or worse – colleagues or clients, could paint a portrait of the type of person you are from a very young age. The rule of thumb for tipping is usually 10% of your bill.

Ghosting – For those of you who don’t know what ‘Ghosting’ is, it is the practice of ending a personal relationship with someone by suddenly and without explanation withdrawing from all communication. Let’s face it. In your 20s not every date or relationship you start is going to go the distance however, ghosting isn’t an option, especially when you’re well out of your immature teenage years.

Instead, regardless of how the date went, follow up within 24 hours to let your date know that you’d either like to see them again, or don’t see things working out. If you have an issue with one of your friends, let them know what upset you and why you may want to take a break from the friendship. ‘Ghosting’ them reflects your poor character as you are seen as heartless or a coward. You also leave them in a pained state as they are left second guessing or doubting themselves, which can tear someone apart. It may be an uncomfortable conversation, but throughout your life you will need to have difficult conversations. If you can’t master this, you will forever be pushed into doing things you either don’t want or causing hurt feelings.

Texting while in conversation – We live in an always connected world where there is an expectation that we are always meant to be on call. We’ve all done it at least once before. You’re hanging out with someone, but the lure of your phone proves too strong, and before you know it, you’re shooting off a quick text while the person in front of you looks at you with a slightly bewildered facial expression.

Let’s get this clear off the bat. People in front of you take precedence over whoever is on the cellphone. However if you are expecting an important call or it’s an emergency, warn the person and ask their permission to use your phone.

Good manners are an extremely attractive personality trait. You may not notice when someone’s manners are slightly out but you always notice when someone is well mannered. It’s those moments when that ordinary person goes that little bit further to make you feel extraordinary.

MEN – THREE STYLE MISTAKES YOU’RE MAKING

There are a million style blogs around writing on the do’s and don’ts for modern day gentleman, and I notice a lot of guys taking this to heart. However as an image consultant my job is to notice the small details that even style conscious gentleman keep making.

Of those mistakes, there are three that occur with scary frequency. These three styles are not often taught, so today I’d like to share you with the three secret style rules that can ruin your outfit:



Shoe Colour – Belt Colour

Now this rule I am sure you have all heard before, right? But the rule doesn’t end there. This is what a lot of people seem to have missed. Yes, you should always match the colour of your shoe to the colour of your belt. But you should also match the material of your shoe, to the material of your belt. For example, if you’re wearing brown suede shoes, you should wear a brown suede belt. If you’re wearing black leather shoes, you should wear a black leather belt.



Pocket Square – Tie Colour/Pattern

A lot of the bigger department stores are tending to beautiful tie sets with a matching pocket square. As a result, a lot of gentleman wanting to ‘up’ their style game are buying these combinations and rocking them all at once. This is a style fail. The rule is that you pocket square should never match your tie, in terms of exact colour and pattern but rather they should compliment each other.

So if you are going to wear a tie and pocket square, rather match the pocket square to the colour of your shirt, or have a pocket square that compliments your tie but doesn’t match it.

Also the type of material used on pocket squares determines the formality. Fine silks, are the height of formality, while textured cotton squares are most informal.



Tie Width – Lapel Width

This is the rule that no one teaches you, but it is something that can easily throw off the proportions of your suit. A lot of guys are favouring these stylish new thin knitted ties, and wearing it with suits with massive lapels. They don’t realise that when you wear a suit with wider lapels, and a thin tie, the suit will look too big for you, or just won’t look right proportionately. Trust your eye though, often it can pick up bad balance.



Match your Metals

This last tip is as simple as it sounds. Whatever metals you’re wearing at any given moment should be matched. For example, the metal on your watch, should match your cufflinks, which in turn match your belt buckle and any other metal you could be wearing.

So silver with silver, and gold and with gold.

If you enjoyed this blog, and want to learn more on how to improve your style game. Then perhaps you should attend our Adult Finishing School course,this course takes you through how to be more charismatic and influential, how to dress properly, how to entertain high level clients and everything in between.

BABY ETIQUETTE

Mini Course:

VISITING NEW PARENTS

I recently had a family member give birth, and two weeks later I found myself going to visit the new born baby. Now welcoming a brand-new baby can be very exciting. But for the parents who have just had the baby, there are also few things that are more stressful and exhausting.



But before you go pop in for a visit, please read these necessary tips on the basics of newborn etiquette. Trust us, the parents of the newborn will thank you later.



IF YOU'RE SICK - DON'T VISIT

This may seem like common sense, but this rule is often forgotten with the excitement of the new born baby. New born babies have barely developed any immunities to fight off a cold so, even a minor cold could make the baby sick. So just wait till you are back to full health before you visit.

In addition to this rule, wash your hands or use hand sanitiser before touching the baby.



DON'T WEAR OUT YOUR WELCOME

In the beginning stages the parents are usually not getting much sleep, so try to keep visits to new parents on the shorter side, nothing more than an hour or two. Trying to nurse a baby or put him down to sleep can be extra challenging and stressful if there’s people around.



GIVE UNSOLICITED ADVICE

Parenting advice is sometimes more common, and annoying than a baby crying. A lot of people who have their own children try to force their opinion on new parents, and that usually doesn’t help. The last thing the new parents want to hear is what they are doing wrong.

So as much as you would like to give advice, rather wait to be asked for it. If you are asked for advice, please share your experience. If not, please don’t.



DON'T PICK UP THE BABY

Or rather don’t pick up the baby without the parent’s permission. Especially in the first couple of weeks as the baby is still getting accustomed to their new body and can be easily bruised by people constantly picking them up and putting them down.

As you would imagine these bruises can cause the baby considerable pain, and result in more sleepless nights for the parents. So until you’ve been asked, it’s better to just marvel from a distance.

Now that we have established the basics, it’s important to know that despite all the rules the parents of a new born baby are excited for visitors and want to share this special moments with friends and family.

If you’re able to follow these simple rules, I have no doubt that the new parents will appreciate your visit and will likely ask you to come back again.

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Start the new year with upgrading your dining skills.

Workshop Dining Etiquette.
FL. 99,= including food and beverage.
Date 04-02-2019.
Duration 2-3 hours.
Location Huize Batavia Otrobanda.

For more information and registration please sent a message.