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Ninja School For Orphans

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Ninja School For Orphans

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On the communal utility of outcasts, the Ninja School for Orphans stands for the burning of fat to strengthen the group.

Homeless people, Orphans, the sick and the dying...bring them to us and we will give them a purpose. Besides training orphans to become world-class assassins, the Ninja School For Orphans is dedicated to helping communities help themselves by relieving each citizen of the altruistic burden of caring for those who cannot care for themselves. The hungry and impoverished will find our facilities adequate and comfortable, the lost and seeking will find purpose and direction. Each of us will one day face death but for the elderly and sickly burdening their families and communities with their every breath, that day may be more imminent; but the flame of life needn't be extinguished so carelessly and morbidly! Send us those afflicted bodies and minds to the Ninja School for Orphans to lighten the load on the young and healthy while contributing to world order! The private wars waged by our assassins result in many deaths, yes, but save millions of lives by letting murderers and killers kill each other instead of waging world-war III. Your donations of old people, sickly people, children, criminals and orphans are noble reminders to our staff members of just how much the citizens of this world hate war and will do their part for world peace!

17/06/2021

NSO Group Bracelets are here! Feels so good to be a part of a world-changing corporation!

08/10/2019

Captain Data!?!

Data gives a stern explanation to Mr. Worf after he publicly shows irritation to Data's command style.

18/10/2018

Is the world ready for the N.S.F.O.?

30/01/2017

Ninja School receives endowment from Trump Administration.
Many thanks!!

24/05/2012

First Annual Ninja School For Orphans Spelling Bee

Will be hosted this year by St. Jerome Orphanage in Little Creek, VA on August 25th, 2012. All are invited to view the festivities and contest live, via satellite. If you have made a financial or humanitarian donation to the NSO then please RSVP and join us at the Mariott of Norfolk for preliminary festivities! Photo ID Required, families welcome!

The NSO has also announced the generous prizes to be awarded after the Spelling Bee:

1st Place Orphan will be adopted by loving, rich, white parents who own a pony and want to travel the world with their child.

2nd - 100th place Orphans will be officially adopted by the Ninja School For Orphans.

Good luck to all our contestants! Start studying!

15/05/2012

Ever had trouble sleeping?

Recent studies, funded by the NSO, have shown that homeless people and orphans can cause restlessness in those that see them. When community members donate their bums and orphans to the NSO they are taking an active role in supporting the health of their community.

The next time you're tired, and see a drifter, vagrant or panhandler, consider notifying one of our local NSO Collection Centers (NSOCC) and we'll take care of the rest!

Thank you for being an important part of improving the health of your community.

07/05/2012

Yet another victory for mankind began in the slums of Rotterdam not so long ago.

A young orphan, fighting for his life on the hostile streets and nicknamed "Bean" because his growth was stunted for lack of nutrition, has finally found a home. He was found by a nun who was horrified at his desperate situation and perceived young Bean to possess superior intelligence. Sister Carlotta lifted him out of the murderous environment that would have killed him by securing passage for Bean to the Ninja School For Orphans in Denmark where a warm bed, nutritious food and rigorous training await him at Ninja School.

For bringing such stories to life we thank Sister Carlotta, Orson Scott Card and all those who have donated anthropomorphistic refuse to the Ninja School for Orphans, and in so doing, have imbued that outcast with purpose.

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