26/02/2026
Turned 30 a few weeks back.
One of my biggest priorities this decade is maximizing my sense of belonging by connecting the people I know and love with each other.
There’s a concept in neuroscience called Social Baseline Theory, developed by Jim Coan at the University of Virginia.
The core idea: your brain is a metabolic budgeting organ. Constantly forecasting how much energy you’ll need and allocating resources accordingly. It evolved assuming close proximity to trusted others at all times.
When your brain perceives itself as part of a connected group, it distributes the load. Threats can be shared. Resources can be pooled. Not everything has to be handled solo. So threat responses downshift — freeing up bandwidth for clearer thinking, better emotional regulation, deeper creativity.
When your connections are fragmented, the opposite happens. Your brain burns goes into a mind of subtle survival mode and burns more energy.
The system never evolved to operate alone. Being embedded in a group isn’t an upgrade it’s the default. Operating alone is the deviation (like not sleeping, not eating or not exercising).
But increasing belonging is not about increasing the total amount of people you know or how often you socialize.
It’s about increasing the number of interconnected nodes in your life.
Not just how many people know you — but how many of the people you know, know each other.
A fragmented network where nobody knows each other doesn’t signal “tribe” to the brain. An interconnected network one does.
The more you overlap the people in your life — introducing them, connecting them, weaving your worlds together — the more belonging your nervous system registers.
And the more belonging, the more you thrive.
