08/16/2021
DO YOU LISTEN TO YOUR BODY WHEN PLANNING A VACATION?
I finally went on vacation.
It’s been a long, challenging year, and it was time for some change of scenery, relaxation, reset, and recharge.
My partner and I decided to leave the house relatively early to beat the traffic and have some time for exploring our first destination.
But on the day we were supposed to leave I had a hard time getting out of bed.
That is generally the case for me.
My body does not feel good early in the morning, and why I plan my days accordingly.
I was just hoping that on that day it would be different…
It wasn’t.
So I stayed in bed longer than I planned.
In the past, I’d be lying in bed feeling angry at my body for ruining my plans, and I’d feel bad for ruining somebody else’s plans.
But I’ve done enough internal work to be able to think instead:
This is MY vacation.
It is about relaxing and recharging MY body.
So what my body asks for is what my body gets.
More time in bed? You got it.
A later breakfast? Sure thing.
We left a little bit later than planned, but we were relaxed, and my body felt ok to be in the car for 5 hours.
We got to our first destination -- Wells Gray Park -- late afternoon. I knew it was too late to explore the area, so we decided to just walk around the property we were staying at and save visiting the incredible Wells Gray falls for the next day.
This little change allowed me to completely and wholeheartedly enjoy my surroundings.
No guilt.
No shame.
No anger.
Just pure delight.
(and because I felt good -- my partner felt good)
That’s the power of listening to your body.
How do you plan for a vacation?
Do you consider your body’s needs in your planning?
I would love to hear your experience.
Photo taken at Wolfwood Guest Ranch.
08/05/2021
This week I embarked on a new journey with a client.
It always fills me with immense joy, excitement, gratitude and deep honour for the opportunity to support her, guide her, and provide a safe space for her to heal her relationship with her body.
Whenever I start a new coaching relationship, I like to pull a card to set our intention for the program.
The card I pulled this time was "Flexible"*, and it was absolutely perfect:
This card calls for both of us to come to our coaching relationship with an open mind, to be willing to learn (about ourselves and each other), and to be willing to try new things.
This is a returning client who is starting a new program, so for me this means setting aside what I already know about her, about her struggles and strengths, and start fresh here and now with whatever she brings at this moment.
For her, having tried different methods of connecting to her body in the past that didn't work for her, this means leaving behind what didn't work and open herself to new methods and possibilities.
While this card calls for open-mindedness, it also reminds us to stay grounded in who we are -- to stay true to ourselves and to our intuition -- and to not compromise what’s important to us.
This is such an important aspect of our coaching relationship, especially in this one where we are (re)learning to deeply connect to our body, and really listen to what it is saying: to what feels right and to what doesn't.
This is such a wonderful intention to set as this beautiful and courageous soul is embarking on an 8 week journey into herself.
This is also a great intention to set for any new relationship, and today I invite you to recall new encounters and ask yourself: do I come to them "flexible" -- open to learn yet connected to my core?
If yes, how did it benefit you and the relationship?
And if not, what can you do differently next time?
And if you want to learn more about this program and how I can support your journey into healing your own unique relationship with your body, please DM me.
Here is to new beginnings! 🥂
Love and light 💖,
Yael
*Wisdom of the Oracle / Colette Baron-Reid
07/28/2021
*EATING LIKE A TODDLER*
When my son was a baby I was constantly worried if he was getting enough to eat.
Until one day I read in a baby nutrition book that kids will never starve themselves. If they are hungry they’ll make it known (and boy do they ever!) and when they’re done eating they’ll just stop.
As soon as I read that I relaxed and started observing my baby.
And it was exactly like that.
When he was 2 he used to say “done done done” when he didn’t want to eat anymore.
He is now 12 and he is still like that: he eats when he’s hungry and stops when he’s not.
Around his birthday a couple months ago, I began thinking about myself at this age.
I was a ballet dancer, and around this age I started becoming very aware of my body, and whether or not it fits the mold of the “typical” ballerina.
It didn’t.
By 13 I was already counting calories, and trying to eat as little as I possibly could.
It took me 20 more years to learn how to eat like a toddler -- how to hear and follow my body’s natural hunger cues.
I also learned that when we spend so much time obsessing over the number of calories and when (not) to eat, instead of what our body needs and when it needs it, our body stops signalling. It says: what’s the point - she won’t listen anyway.
The good news is that we can relearn how to listen to our body just like babies and toddlers do, before they are exposed to the expectations of society and culture.
Today I invite you to take the day to just notice what your body is signalling: when do you notice hunger? When do you notice satiety? What kind of sensations are they?
The next step would be to notice what kind of emotions come up around these sensations, but one step at a time :)
And if you need more support around this, please reach out to me -- you’re not alone!
Love and light 💖,
Yael
(And thanks to my creative mom for making this great skirt out of crepe paper)
07/27/2021
This quote by Edith Eger (who I really admire) was ringing in my ears for months before I finally got it, before I had an “aha” moment.
When my body collapsed 3 years ago (after I worked it to a collapse with two jobs, two kids, tons of stress, and very little sleep), I was forced to rest. I could barely get out of bed to get to the bathroom, and if I made it to the kitchen it was a successful day.
But my recovery was extremely slow. And extremely frustrating.
I could not understand why I’m not healing faster, after all- I had been resting for months!
See, I thought that my body just needed time.
But it wasn’t about time at all, it was about what was happening during that time.
Was I actually resting?
When I thought about this question I realized that the main feeling that took over my body and mind was GUILT.
I was feeling very guilty: guilty that my partner was doing all the house work and taking care of me; guilty that I couldn’t run around with my kids; guilty that I wasn’t contributing financially; guilty that I wasn’t building my career, and more.
Can you actually rest with all of that guilt? It turns out that you can’t. Because you are not giving your body permission to rest. Because you are actually fighting with it.
When I learned that I wasn’t allowing my body to heal, I changed my practice.
I put the guilt on the shelf, and asked my body what it needed.
I ate what it asked me to eat.
I lay down when it asked to lie down.
I read when that felt right.
I meditated when I was called to.
I danced in my living room when emotions needed to come out.
And I used Netflix as a little escape when the pain was unbearable.
I learned that there is no right or wrong way to heal, or a correct self-care practice.
What I found that helps me the most is close listening to my body, to my intuition.
And that’s what allowed me to heal.
I want to invite you to do the same:
To take time to listen to your body, mind, and spirit.
To take time to notice what part of you is in need of healing or of extra care and attention.
What can you do to promote healing?
And if you need more support doing this, please dm me -- you’re not alone!
Love and light 💖,
Yael
07/22/2021
I am the queen of excuses.
I can find an excuse for anything and everything.
And I’ve always been proud of that talent of mine (which I now laugh about).
It took me a long time and inner work to realize that what my excuses really mean is that I actually don’t want to do something.
I love reading, but for years I felt like I didn’t have time to read. My designated reading time was always at night when I got into bed, but by then, after a packed day of work and family, I was really tired and couldn’t get through a couple of sentences before falling asleep.
So to me it didn’t feel like an excuse -- it felt like a fact: I don’t have time to read.
When I thought about the fact that I chose an impossible time for reading, I realized that what this is really about is my priorities, and during those years reading was not a priority.
When I accepted that, I felt more relaxed and less ashamed that I’m not actually reading…
And then, just like that, I decided one day that reading is once again important to me.
So now I had to find a way to make that happen.
I already knew that bedtime won’t work, so that time was out.
I asked my body: when would be a good time to read?
The answer was during the day.
Now that reading is a priority, I find half an hour during the day and I sit and read.
Is it that simple? It can be.
If you are able to look at your excuses honestly, go into your body to FEEL if this is something you want or not, then you’ll find the answers you are looking for and be able to set your priorities and intentions.
And if you need more support around this, please reach out to me -- you are not alone!
Love and light 💖,
Yael
07/19/2021
When I felt called to bring a new life into this world it was a few years after I was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia and prescribed Amitriptyline.
So in preparation for pregnancy and breastfeeding I decided to get off all medications.
At first I was scared -- how would I be able to cope with my pain and fatigue without the meds? I was one year into grad school and needed to be able to function.
But something magical happened. Well, two magical things:
One was the new life growing inside my body.
The other, to my great surprise, was that my fibro symptoms improved.
I was in less pain during my pregnancy than I had been in many years.
It was around that time that I realized that I need to stop fighting with my body, and start working WITH it, not against it.
I started listening.
Not just hearing what it had to say, but also following through with what it asked for.
These days part of my wake-up routine is listing some things I thank my body for.
A month ago my son turned 12 (!), and it made me think of my first pregnancy, and all the amazing things my body did then. So I added them to my gratitude list:
🙏Thank you body for creating this beautiful life
🙏Thank you body for nourishing this little being
🙏Thank you body for going through pregnancy and birth with Fibromyalgia
🙏Thank you body for recovering from the trauma of that birth experience (that’s for another post…)
🙏Thank you body for speaking to me and letting me know what you need, and what you don’t need anymore (Amitriptyline for example).
Why is thanking our body important? Because it creates a loving relationship with our body rather than viewing it through anger and resentment.
Today I invite you to list 5 things you thank your body for. Try to do so without judgment. And then notice if this little exercise changes the way you think, feel, or relate to your body, even a little bit.
And if you have Fibromyalgia and have gone through pregnancy -- what was your experience? I would love to hear your story.
Love and light💖,
Yael
07/14/2021
*ASKING FOR HELP*
What a difficult concept.
This is something I’ve been actively working on in the past while: ASKING for help, and also learning to RECEIVE it.
And it’s a process.
Asking for help is especially hard for those socialized as women.
Maybe because we see it as a sign of weakness or failure.
Maybe because we are expected (by society and/or ourselves) to be able to hold many balls in the air all on our own.
Maybe because we fear it will greatly impact our identity and understanding of ourselves.
Maybe because we fear feelings of shame.
Whatever it may be, asking for help seemed like a radical idea to me, and it took me some time to understand that even though asking is making me vulnerable, it also brings me closer to myself and closer to listening to what my body needs.
Because here is the reality: we cannot do it all on our own!
Nor do we need to prove that.
And here is an interesting view about help that I hadn’t thought of before hearing this quote from Orly Carmon: when you ask for help (and then receive it) you are actually CONNECTING with another human. And this form of connection is special.
This connection can lead you in different directions, teach you, inspire you, support you.
And from my experience, it always leads me somewhere great!
It is true when I ask for help from friends or family, and it’s true when I ask for help from coaches, mentors, and teachers.
Today I invite you to list all the areas you feel you need help in, and then go out and seek it (and be open to receive it judgment free).
You never know where it will lead you, or who you’ll get to connect with 😉
And I’m also here to help and connect, just reach out to me.
Love and light💖,
Yael
07/13/2021
LESSONS FROM (“IMPERFECT”) STRAWBERRIES
I took the kids strawberry picking a couple of weeks ago, to celebrate the beginning of Summer.
We were searching for the biggest, most perfect ones we could find to fill our basket.
To us, that was a guarantee that they would be the most juicy and delicious.
My kids then spotted the strawberry in the photo and said: “wow, this one is so weird, and doesn’t even look like a strawberry!”
I suggested that we pick it anyway.
And when my daughter took a bite, she was surprised that “even the weird one tastes delicious!”
I started thinking about what “perfect” strawberries actually mean.
There is no such thing as perfect in nature. A strawberry is a strawberry.
WE give it meaning.
WE perceive a certain shape to be “perfect” based on our learned experience in this world and in our culture.
The kids and I had a little conversation on the way back with a basket full of “perfect” strawberries, about what this word means and how important it is to notice when we view things (and ourselves) in such a prescribed, preconceived way.
Our takeaway was this: OUR OWN JUDGMENT CAN PREVENT US FROM TASTING SOMETHING DELICIOUS.
So today I invite you to take note of the times you judge things (or yourself) by how they look, and how this judgment is based on learned experiences.
When you do that — how does it make you feel?
What could happen if this judgment is removed?
What can we taste?
07/12/2021
Changing the focus from LIMITATIONS to POSSIBILITIES has been a GAME CHANGER for me in my journey back to dancing after a decade away, this time with the Fibromyalgia diagnosis.
When I first started dancing again all I could notice was what I could NOT DO.
I remembered well how my body used to dance, what it was capable of, and the contrast was unbearable.
It really brought me down.
So much that I was considering leaving the dance floor for good.
It took time, courage, and inward work to first give time for grieving, and then shift my focus away from my limitations, to find what was possible.
I started asking:
- How can my body move now?
- What can I do to protect it?
- How can I help with recovery after dancing?
- How long can I dance for?
- How much rest does my body need, before and after dancing?
That shift in focus from what I wasn’t able to do to what was possible for my body has been keeping me dancing to this day, and I’m so grateful.
It doesn’t mean that sometimes I don’t feel sad about what I lost.
Or that I don’t look at other dancers with a hint of envy, or with a small wish that things were different.
These thoughts and feelings come up from time to time.
I give them room.
I thank them for coming.
And then I release them with gratitude for my POSSIBILITIES.
Today I invite you to think about a task or activity you want to do, and see what comes up when you think of this task or activity.
If you notice that you are listing (to yourself or while journaling) the things you can NOT do or all the ways in which you are limited at doing this activity, then shift the question to: what is possible for me in this activity? What am I capable of? What can I do?
Then notice how this shift feels in your body.
And if you need more support on how to do that, please reach out to me — you are not alone!
Love and light 💖,
Yael
07/08/2021
WHAT BRINGS YOU JOY?
This is a question most of us don’t ask ourselves very often.
We go about our day, our to-do lists, doing the things we feel we need to do.
A few days ago I was reminded of this question by my teacher and mentor and of the fact that I rarely ask myself: Yael, what brings you joy? What can you do today out of JOY and NOT out of necessity?
What radical questions!
We are taught to think that joy is a privilege or reward.
That we can do something that makes us happy only if we earn it: if we finish our (endless) lists, or feel like we worked hard “enough”.
It turns out that joy is not an end goal, it is the beginning!
It is our highest purpose!
Doing things out of joy changes everything.
When we are in pain or feel debilitated by fatigue, it’s very hard to remember those things that bring us joy. It’s hard to see anything but the pain and fatigue.
This is exactly the time to go after what brings us joy!
To help remember, take a few minutes to write a list of all the things that bring you joy.
It can be seemingly little things like a cup of coffee.
It can be a bubble bath, reading a book, walking in the woods.
It can be things that you don’t need much energy for, like looking at fresh flowers, lighting a candle, or listening to music.
Or even just closing your eyes and breathing in a quiet space.
Whatever brings YOU joy, write it down.
Then try to remember when was the last time you did any of those things on your list.
And then ask yourself: how can I add more of them to my day?
One item on my list is daisies.
Daisies are my favourite flower and always make me smile no matter what else is going on in my life or how much pain I’m in.
So this week I went to find some daisies, and took this picture as a reminder to myself to bring more joy into my life.
What’s on your list?
I would love to hear what brings you joy (and maybe get more ideas for my own list😊)
And if you need more support around that, please reach out!
You’re not alone!
Love and light 💖
Yael
07/05/2021
THE POWER OF LEARNING TO RECEIVE
This quote by Brené Brown really hits home for me.
I’ve always seen myself as a giver, since elementary school when I volunteered to help other students with their homework.
In my army service I was selected to do social work.
Now I try to give as much as I can in my coaching work.
And of course, being a woman and a mother, giving is part of my DNA.
But I never realized that to be able to give so much, and not drain myself out completely, I need to be able to *receive* in the same way.
This has always been hard for me, either because of what I believed or how I was socialized or both.
Receiving always came with guilt.
But as Brené Brown continues, “When we attach judgment to receiving help, we knowingly or unknowingly attach judgment to giving help.”
🤯Mind. Blown.
So am I really able to give wholeheartedly to others?
When I had my big crash and flareup of my fibromyalgia a couple of years ago, and was barely able to make it out of bed by myself, I had so much guilt that my (amazing) partner had to help me with everything and do all of the housework on his own.
It took me a long time to realize that I cannot heal with this kind of guilt, because I can’t fully allow my body to rest.
This flareup gave me an opportunity to take a thorough look at my ability to give vs my ability to receive, and even though it’s still a work in progress, I feel like I’m doing a lot better.
As we start a new month, I invite you to look at your own ability to receive -- where does this find you?
What can you do to be able to receive with an open heart?
If you need more support please reach out to me.
You're not alone!
Love and light 💖,
Yael
06/23/2021
BEING BRAVE IS LISTENING TO MY BODY.
This is how I run my business and life, and what I teach my clients.
Listening is: hearing what my body is saying AND following up with what it needs.
That’s not always easy, but it’s a journey worth taking.
Living with Fibromyalgia means that sometimes the pain is so bad that it’s distracting, that my brain turns into cotton candy, that the fatigue is so debilitating.
For a very long time I believed that I have to push through all of those.
I believed that crossing off my to-do list means I succeed at being productive.
But what ultimately happened is that I aggravated my pain, and stared at the computer in anger, frustration, shame, and guilt.
And all of these feelings meant that I tried to push even harder.
It took me some time to learn that the best thing I can do for my business, as well as all aspects of my life, is to listen to my body.
Turns out that my body is very wise.
It knows exactly what it needs.
And that only when I ask what it needs, listen to the answer and meet those needs, I stay within my “energy envelope” (a great term I learned from the wonderful ).
And when I do — I’m actually able to get stuff done.
Maybe not at the pace that I think I *should*, but at the pace my body needs.
I got this incredible journal from my beautiful coach and mentor , and the first thing I wrote in it was my business plan:
“Every day ask my body:
What are you capable of today? What would give you pleasure?”
And so far, this plan has worked really well :)
Some days I’m able to follow this plan better than others, but this is my general direction.
Most business plans talk about the importance of consistency.
But what I learned about working with Fibromyalgia is that it’s consistently inconsistent.
And I finally accepted that fact, and that alleviated a lot of pressure.
Being brave is listening to my body, in life and business, allowing it to lead, and giving it what it’s asking for.
The cover of this journal says it all for me: with brave wings I fly, those of the Fibromyalgia butterfly, to help other women do the same.
What is bravery for you? 👇
07/19/2021
07/14/2021
07/13/2021
07/12/2021
07/08/2021
07/05/2021
06/23/2021