Rhea Lalla- Build Great Minds

12/26/2025

12/21/2023

Whether you celebrate Christmas or another special occasion, there's nothing like receiving a personalized letter from a parent, specifically highlighting the magical things you witness in your child.

I guarantee they'll secretly beam at your ability to notice and capture what's extraordinary and share it with them. No matter what your relationship is like right now, this simple step can generate healing and even greater connection.

When writing your holiday love letter, it needs to be 3 things.

Authentic. Specific. Heartfelt.

The first step is to sit and brainstorm everything noteworthy and truly wonderful about your child.

If they're:

Kind to their sisters...note it.
Persevere even when things are a struggle...note it.
Empower their friends....note it.
Imaginative...note it.

The next step is to weave your favorite ideas above into a letter. Remember, anything coming from your heart is priceless. You have your own unique way of expressing your thoughts and ideas and your letter should reflect your voice.

For those who want some guidance to make the process easier, I'm offering an example letter I wrote for my teenage son. Use it for inspiration or as a template you edit utilizing your unique genius.

With Bright Sparkly Holiday Love, Rhea

Dearest Son,

Sixteen! Soon to be 17! How did we get here so fast? This Christmas, I'm sharing some thoughts that have been swirling in my head about the admirable young man you are.

First things first, these years aren't easy. You're navigating the tricky waters of teenage life and that comes with a multitude of emotions. You will feel them all. Joy, heartbreak, insecurity, frustration. Continue to be curious about the source of each feeling that arises in you. You will learn a great deal from all of them and they will help you know yourself.

I see your enthusiasm about the world, your hunger for knowledge, and your willingness to embrace new experiences. Watching you handle the twists and turns with determination and a little bit of "winging it" has been interesting and heart expanding.

My not-so-little-anymore son...you are a part of what makes our family life so special. I've seen you face challenges head-on, learn from your experiences, and grow in ways that make my heart burst with pride. Life isn't always a smooth ride, but you're resilient and courageous. You're at an age where you're discovering more about yourself and the world around you. Embrace this journey son. Every experience, whether joyous or challenging, is shaping you.

I'd like to thank you for turning ordinary moments into something special. I notice everything and I truly love who you are. The way you're always there for your sister- defending her, celebrating and empowering her. The way you keep pushing forward even when things feel challenging. The way you lift your friends up and care so deeply about them. The way your solve problems. Your tenacity to make the most of your life makes my heart grin. Some lessons you learned the hard way and I wouldn't have it any other way, it's what helps you grow.

This year pulled on all my heart-strings. I'm profoundly aware you are gaining more independence and I'm learning how to let go and give you more space to discover who you are and what you want to create in your life. Be patient with me darling if I get it wrong. This is my first time being a Mom. However, I'm lucky to witness the greatest show on earth son....watching YOU grow up.

May all the joy you bring to this life bounce back to you like a boomerang and may you know deep within your heart you are loved endlessly and for always.

Clapping triumphantly from the sidelines.

Love, Mum

09/06/2023

For many around the world, these past few weeks marks the start of school. Was there something beautiful and important you expressed to your child/tween/teen? If so, please share it with me, I'd love to hear!

Outside of the "I love you's", "You got this", "It's going to be okay" or "Make friends with people who don't have anyone to talk to", I'm sharing what I've said/done with my kids from an early age on the first day of school and I continue into their highschool years.

Step 1: I take them both aside for a moment to stop, close their eyes and breathe deeply with me. I tell them "We're going to ground our energy for the day. Let's take 5 deep breaths. Visualize a place that brings you joy in your mind's eye. Good, now visualize yourself walking into the school joyful and energized. Hold that vision for 30 sec while you breathe."

Step 2. I remind them "You matter. Your thoughts and feelings matter and so do other peoples. Everything you do affects the classroom. You have the ability to help kids around you feel good and be a contribution to the space or you can take away from the experience.

Staying neutral doesn't count. Meaning, if you aren't actively contributing to the space, generating energy in the form of joy, curiosity and connection, then you are taking from the space. Always seek to contribute." (Same applies to me and all adults)

Step 3: Lastly I ask, "Who are you today?" Because we are constantly reinventing ourselves, learning, growing and understanding ourselves at a deeper level. The question means, how do you want to show up. Over the years I've gotten many different answers to that question but my favorite answer I've heard to date was ME. I AM ME.

Aho! May all our kids show up to to this school year; calm, deeply curious, an active contribution, aware of their beautiful impact and authentic to who they are.

Wishing you and all the kiddos a great start to the school year!

With Admiration, Rhea

06/28/2023

Many children do not see their parents source and create joy in their life. They do see their parents in an endless persuit to offer their kids opportunities for joy but not for themselves.

We tend to give ourselves the scraps. Those scraps take a toll.

This is especially true of fathers as they often get into work/solution/project mode and haven’t been socialized into how to connect and BE in the moment. Thus, they tend to miss things mothers don’t. They miss opportunities to deeply connect with their partners and with their kids. Fathers tend to be more reactive to situations where they stumble upon feeling joy vs consciously, proactively, unapologetically creating joy.

Since our kids are always watching, our sons are taking notes on how to “father” or “man” and our daughters are taking notes on what they look for in a partner.
Children also look to their mothers to see if she knows how to create happiness. This is a deliberate action. We actively create the conditions for it, then notice how we feel, then do a “save as” so we can remember how important this was for our soul and plop that into our love bank.

Tell me, how do you create and source joy in your life?

❤️ DM me if you’re curious on exactly what to do to create and claim joy and start loving your life.

06/25/2023

It's truly a pleasure to be able to assist families like this one. I love what I do.

06/20/2023

We can help our children by becoming emotional gladiators, fearless and ready for whatever feeling enters the arena. After all, they copy what we DO not what we SAY.

When our sadness floods the gate we acknowledge the worth, strength and wisdom inherent in this feeling so powerful, it breaks hearts. When anger rushes towards us like a lion from the belly of the pit, we must learn to respect it before we can tame it. This is not for the faint hearted; it takes courage, power and discipline. Parenting is a gladiator sport.

Emotions are what confer humanity to us. Do not dismiss them as trivial, they are fundamental to our existence and our thriving.

The importance of feeling our feelings cannot be overstated. I invite you to FEEL as if your life, and your kids lives depend on it. Because they do. Learn more via this article and explore other great resources.



https://buildgreatminds.com/2016/02/23/parenting-is-a-gladiator-sport/

06/09/2023

If you want to get your kids talking and sharing you won't get anything meaningful or useful by the typical questions we've all been conditioned to ask. We need a completely counterr-intuitve approach. This works so effectively and here's the secret.

Share something interesting about your day and then bring them into the discussion, you are more apt to get kids to share, contribute and pay attention. They also get to learn about feelings, motivations, perspective taking and deepen their own acceptance and self awareness using this process.

Asking your kids questions to uncover what heartbreak and papercuts or fears and anxieties wear on their heart is a skill that can be learned and when you learn it, watch just how much tumbles out of your child.

06/04/2023

It was a joy to work with Wayne and his family so he could have the relationship he craved with his son and support him in a way that he feels confident and proud. He did the work to create something extraordinary and that’s what he got. ❤️. Life’s too short not to get results you desire. DM me if you want to find your way to deep dreamy relationships. 😘 xx