Dementia Caregiving

More Men are Becoming Caregivers

“FORBES MAGAZINE gives honorable mention to men who have taken on caregiving, a task too often assumed to be for women only. Thank God that necessity speaks loud and clear, and love certainly speaks with a directness not to be ignored, no matter our gender. When Mom or Dad or spouse needs us, we show up, ready or not. Period. In August of 2006, I showed up when Mom called. Only, she didn’t know she was calling.
As the incidence of Alzheimer’s disease and other dementias rises in North America, along with a shifting economy, homecare for our aging loved ones will fall into the hands of whoever is willing, but not always whoever is able. I was willing and quickly prepared myself to become able. My journey taught me more than I ever thought I’d need to know. The years of caring for my mother added to my ministry and counseling experience. Today, , I have a segmented platform to counsel men (women, too) who are caregivers, or becoming such, for “their loved ones afflicted with some form of dementia. The response has been overwhelming!

A study from the Alzheimer’s Association reports that between 1996 and 2011, the percentage of men among adults caring for a family member with Alzheimer’s disease or dementia rose dramatically, from 19% to 40% (Forbes Magazine).

This circumstance isn’t going away. As a spiritual leader, degreed professional counselor, and in ecumenical employ, it was hard for me to accept that we cannot pray dementia away. It matters not if you’re a Christian, a Muslim, or a Buddhist, a believer or non-believer [in Christ]. All that matters is preparedness. I wrote this book to help inform men in particular who are on the caregiver trek, because an estimated three million men are caring for an ailing spouse full-time. Increasingly, men are caring for their mothers, too.
In 2009, according to a National Alliance for Caregiving/AARP study, men accounted for 34% of the nearly 65 million family caregivers in the United States. However, more recent surveys show that the number of men in this traditionally female role has risen rapidly. This has been “driven by a combination of factors, including the recession, changing gender expectations, and longer life expectancies.
A 2012 analysis by the Pew Research Center’s Internet and American Life Project finds that men may now represent as many as 45% of all family caregivers.
Statistics like these kept me on my toes. As a person who functions better with information, I searched for up-to-date information to keep myself current. I didn’t want to be blindsided by anything, if possible. Trust me, you don’t want to be either, that’s another reason I felt so strongly about producing My Silver-Haired Child. Besides, information is comforting and empowering when applied.

The upcoming sections of My Silver-Haired Child details my own initiation into caregiving. I discuss the ups and downs of this very personal profession, real accounts, survival strategies for both you and your ill loved one, and more. This book promises to guide, inform, and encourage you on your caregiving journey.
All the best to you!”

Linda Duxbury, PhD. Professor, Sprott School of Business, Carleton University

Author of Somethings Gotta Give: Balancing Work, Childcare and Eldercare.

Wrote below a great review for my soon to be published book My Silver Haired Child (when our parents become like our children because of Alzheimer’s Dementi)

I have studied the challenges caregivers face balancing work and caregiving for the past decade. The one thing I have learnt from all my research is that caregiving is a truly personal experience – one that cannot be captured by statistics or bar charts but instead can only truly be described by one who has been there and survived. As such I recommend that anyone who is struggling with the emotional turmoil associated with caring for a loved one read My Silver-Haired Child by Joel A. Thomas. This book describes Joel’s journey as he accompanies his mother along the one-way path that is dementia.

My Silver Haired Child is Dedicated to My mom and all Caregivers.