01/14/2024
My daughters, being of mixed race, grew up in an affluent, predominantly ethnically Greek community. From kindergarten to middle school we saw the kids grow from toddlers to teenagers. My eldest had difficulty fitting in, she just saw the world differently and she also looked different. Often, she would come home in tears, it was as though we were experiencing what she did. It was painful for her and us.
Every community has its quarks, not to mention girls can be vicious with each other. She did not feel accepted by this community, but the major lesson she learned was to believe and trust in herself and walk her path. Although painful, she became stronger for it. So proud of her!
Whether you like it or not, we have been conditioned to fit into groups. Being left out can be very painful since we want to be accepted. We all have a need to be liked, loved, acknowledged and appreciated. It's a part of the human experience.
Often, depending on the group, there are unspoken rules of engagement and accepted behavioural norms. If you want to stay in this group, you must conform to fit in. The longer you are in these groups, the harder it can be to detach and part ways. You will have conditioned yourself to depend on the opinions of others and not trust in yourself. Often, people with good intentions will want to project their fears, worries and limitations on you. It’s easy to buy into their limiting beliefs if want to stay in the group.
If you have goals and ambitions which do not align with the group, you run the risk of being an outlier and possibly being shamed and shunned for your views. It may seem that there is a problem with you since the group is always right. But, if you have huge dreams and goals since you see the world differently, and your group does not support you, then simply find a group that will. Healthy groups will want all their members to grow and succeed, they will create a supportive and safe space for you to grow and thrive.
If you are not in a healthy group which empowers you to strive for your goals and persists in your dreams you are not in a group that is for you. Have the courage, to find your group.
