Strong Winds Consulting

No person's grief experience is EXACTLY the same as someone else's.

Our grief responses can be significantly different because they are shaped by our relationship with the person who died, the way they died, the way the loss is recognized by society, and the support we get from society in our grief. It is also shaped by our personal/recent loss history, our age, personality, resilience, and coping skills, our mental health and stability at the time of their death, our religious belief system, and our cultural background, etc.

Our pets may need new homes and new loving guardians to care for and protect them after we are no longer around. We need to plan for this appropriately ahead of time.

When we grieve a loss, it can be tempted to suppress the pain, distract ourselves, and pretend that everyone is okay. That is not healthy or helpful. Grieve is not something that we can skip over or bury. Grief is something that we need to go through and experience in order for healing to begin.

Too often, when someone is at the end of their life and receiving palliative or hospice care, people around them (loved ones included) start to become fearful or uncomfortable with touching them, which leaves them deprived of physical human contact. As long as you have their person to do so, touching some who is near death can bring them great comfort.

We're quick to say, "I'm here if you need me," but often what people need is for us to reach out to them not for them to have to ask us for support. It's important to check in on those you love to see how they are doing when they have experienced something difficult and especially if they live with a long-term or chronic struggle.

Grief rituals can be an effective part of the healing process after one experiences a loss. Rituals provide us with an opportunity to not only process our grief and let go of negative emotions but also to honour our deceased person.

Grief is not just one thing. It is especially not just sadness. In our grief we may feel many feelings at different times, many feelings all at once, or no feeling at times because we are numb and overwhelmed. There are no right or wrong ways to grieve and no normal or not normal feelings, so the best we can support individuals in their grief is to create a supportive, nonjudgmental, safe place for them to share their feelings.