The Finders

Some days I wish I wasn't essential then I put things in perspective... not only do I still have income and able to pay my bills but I am also meeting the needs of others. I am SMART and EXTREMELY careful. I JUST HOPE THAT IS ENOUGH

The secret of love was discovered on the best Valentines Day ever. It was not a day of romance and wine, but was a special day, many years ago, when I discovered the secret of love (you can know the secret of love no matter what your circumstances).

In our materially oriented world it is sometimes difficult to wrap our arms around what love actually is, and I have to admit, it is much harder for men. I didn’t always know that men and women have different vantage points when it comes to love. It was only during the creation of these principles that it became clear… but I digress.

Giving love is how to feel love!!! The secret of love is so simple! But if not for this write up, I never would have known it; even though I have heard it a billion times! The secret of love is to give it! The secret is not so secret, but until I inadvertently practiced it, those were mere words...

Want to learn how to turn her on? well you have come to the right place. What you are about to read will give you different ways to peak a woman’s interest and can even arouse her. No this isn’t about where to kiss her, and different ways to touch her body. We are talking about achieving this without ever laying a finger on her. Non physical attributes play a big role in generating attraction with a woman, and here are 11 that can truly have an impact.

1. Intelligence: For a lot of women, a smart man is a s*xy man. Knowledge is power, and it can definitely intrigue a woman. Now I know what some of you are thinking, “nerds don’t get the girls”. Well some do, and the one’s that don’t have allowed other turn offs to overshadow this great attribute. Having the ability to carry on an intelligent conversation can have a very positive affect on a woman and turn her on.

2. Being Considerate: When you do something considerate, that can make a woman feel special. When that happens, that can sometimes materialize into a greater attraction. Being mindful of her feelings and doing small gestures to show her you’re thinking about her can easily win u some points. You’re pouring into her emotionally and that makes her much more receptive to you.

3. Assertiveness: Most women (if not all) are not turned on by a man they view as too soft and passive. Knowing how to be assertive and putting your foot down at the right time (in the right way) can cause that woman to melt right before your eyes. That doesn’t mean go out and behave like an a-hole, or treat her like she is beneath you. It just means stand strong, handle your business, and demand respect. If she can’t respect you, then she won’t have a desire for you.

4. Appearance: Even though men tend to be more superficial than women, don’t be fooled. She is paying attention, and she too wants something nice to look out. It doesn’t mean you need to have expensive clothes or flashy jewelry. Simply learning how to present yourself as well put together can do wonders. Know how to rock a suit, and that casual outfit. Don’t forget a nice pair of shoes.

5. Ambition: A man with no aspirations and no drive can be a huge turn off for a woman. Yes there are plenty of good for nothing men getting women to be with them, but that is due to a deeper issue to be discussed another time. The reality is most women crave a man with some ambition. Having passion and a purpose can really do it for her.

6. Being A Handyman: This is one that for a lot of women isn’t a huge issue if you’re not, but that doesn’t mean they don’t like to see a man that knows how to get his hands dirty. That doesn’t mean you need to be a all out mechanic, or build furniture from scratch. It just means that knowing how to handle things around a house on your own can be a very s*xy attribute to a lot of women. It comes off as very manly and naturally women are drawn to masculine energy.

7. Humor: It is well known that making a woman laugh can take you a long way. Unlike some of the other things mentioned on this list, it probably doesn’t generate as much “arousal” but it will draw a woman more to you. We all like to smile, so learning how to have a good sense of humor is a great thing to strive for. You don’t have to be stand up comic funny, and have jokes ready to go. Just remember that laughter is good for the soul and can definitely help you appear more attractive to a woman.

8. Showing Desire Not Desperation: You may have guessed everything on this list up to this point. This right here doesn’t get talked about enough but it sure can make a difference between turning her off and turning her on. A woman likes to be desired (hopefully respectfully) but when you start to look desperate, that just isn’t a good look. Understanding how to show desire without crossing the line of desperation will work in your favor. Coming off as “thirsty” (I know that term gets abused and misused a lot) will probably leave you with nothing to drink.

9. Communication: Your words and knowing how to use them can be powerful. The ability to communicate can make you a very desirable man. That is how some men who don’t have many of the other things on the list still get women. They learned how to listen, and how to seduce her mind with effective communication. A lot of women love to talk and a man that knows how to talk to them can see a huge benefit.

10. Good Hygiene: A lot of women are sensitive to smell, so if your breath or body is a little funky, then that probably isn’t going to turn her on at all. Putting more effort into your hygiene is a great thing to do.

11. Confidence: This is one of the most important, if not the most important factor in turning a woman on and gaining her attention. Confidence is s*xy

How to Have a Good Relationship:

How to have a good relationship is not so mysterious! It isn’t a matter of luck, or the whims of the fates whether you have a good relationship, or even what God has planned for you, though He does have the last word! The question is “how?” And, by any scientific point of view, how to have a good relationship is in your control!

So let’s work backwards. Let’s start with what you would like to think God has planned for you. Even though you have free will … hmmm, you still have to do your part, and that is where we are going with this. Your part is very important in how to have a good relationship.

Friendship Is The Basis for How to Have a Good Relationship. What God’s wants for us. Unless you are a person who believes that God is a prison warden, and that Earth is where all us “bad” people go, you probably will agree that God loves us all. When we think of God as a ‘loving’ parent, which makes the most sense, we logically conclude that God wants us to be happy. We could also assume He wants us to feel His love, because that is the best connection to Him. Don’t think of this as “religious” per say. Think of it as common sense.

Most of us connect these dots, intuitively. After all, He took the time to create us, and all of creation. Why would He want us to suffer? To me it would be weird to imagine God wants us to feel bad, to torture us. And, although I hate to presuppose anything, it seems pretty logical that He loves us, and He wants us to be happy. Not only that, but He knows our happiness, our best happiness, comes from unconditional love. So it would seem, then, that He made everything as a ‘set up’ for our happiness. We just have to think things through, before we impulsively do things that make us miserable. Our free will allows us choices, and we make bad choices; sometimes. But when you take charge of any aspect of your life, and apply wisdom to your decision making process, your choices usually produce the results you intend. Is this too deep? Because if you think this is too deep you will never have a good relationship. Relationships are deep! From what I can see, all of our suffering, in fact, only occurs because we don’t pay attention to God’s orderliness, and the natural laws, that makes creation orderly. We lose ourselves in false promises, called temptation. This is the message in every scripture, and it makes sense. Selflessness is at the core of How to Have a good relationship. One of the natural laws for happiness is to share love (in different ways for different relationships), which is ‘selfless’ behavior, but we defy our own happiness, by acting selfishly; which causes natural repercussions. Don’t you think that is true? When you act selfishly, the person you are with, and your relationship, suffers. The other person will be insecure, and maybe even scared to trust you. If we pay attention to His natural laws, and follow them, we will have more fun, and connection, than is humanly possible!

This isn’t a demand for morality, as much as it is an understanding; that selfishness will come back as painful experiences, as surely as walking off a cliff will find you on the rocks below. Some people call it karma; right? The next questions are:
1). What constitutes a good relationship?
2). What are the natural “laws” that govern a good relationship?
3). What should I do, to do my part?

How to have a Good relationship means to create an ‘internal satisfaction’. That internal satisfaction can come only in two forms. There is psychological satisfaction caused by material gratification, which is satisfaction of a material need; for food, safety, or shelter etc. Or, it can be a “spiritual” satisfaction, which is feeling “love”. Love, and connection, are the real grand prize! No matter what else we may crave, or desire, when offered unconditional love, any normal person will choose unconditional love over material pleasure. Do you agree? You can imagine various scenarios if you would like, and I’m pretty sure you will agree.

How to have a good relationship is based on expressing love! You can see, it is very simple, really. A good relationship is one in which love reigns supreme. But… you may say “Sure, everyone knows that”, and knowing that hasn’t helped me have a good relationship, so what good is it? And you would be right, that everyone knows a good relationship is based on love! But, not everyone knows the natural laws that encourage love are how to have a good relationship. Nor do people consider the actions that discourage love, even though they know about them; and this is where the rubber hits the road! You have to do 2 things if you want to have a good relationship.
1). STOP doing selfish actions, and
2). Start doing selfless, loving actions.
One must study relationships, including the sciences around love.

Step one: Recognize that only a serious study of relationships will help you. A few tips here and there are not going to do it. There is too much to learn to get it in a blog, or you need to study relationships; as if your happiness depends on it. Your happiness depends on you learning the natural laws of relationships.

Step two: Start studying! You cannot get an education in law by reading pamphlets from law schools, and you can’t learn enough about relationships by reading blogs from relationship experts. You need to take the time, and put in the energy, so you can have a good relationship by efficiently using the natural laws of relationships. There is some work to do, for many. To have a good relationship, you have to have the right knowledge about expectations, behaviors, communications and the like's. The PathFinders is a great, not just good, source from which to gain the relationship knowledge you need, it is the best source! Scientific relationship knowledge’s ultimate usefulness is that you will have a great marriage, but even if you are not married, you still need to understand the principles of, and natural laws which define a good relationship.

You will have a good relationship, if you want one. But just wanting one is not enough. You have to learn the science of relationships...

Why is Dating so Difficult ? People who are clear about what they want never ask why is dating so difficult, because they have set a goal. There are two general types of daters. First there is the kind who is looking for the “right one”, their soulmate, to be with, and get married to. Then are those who want to party on, looking for increasingly more exciting dates, and a good time. If you fall into the first category you will be frustrated in this world of chaos- until you take practical steps to learn about finding your soulmate!

Those who date just for a good time, also fall into two separate categories. There are those who are immature. They just want to have fun until they think they should settle down. In their minds they will sow their wild oats, until they think they are “ready”…The other type of “fun dater” is unaware of anything but the thrills, and agonies, of life. They have sort of given up, and want to stay in constant flux, usually with the help of drink, drugs and/or indiscriminate s*x.

This article, “why is dating so difficult”, is mostly for the daters who want to have a fulfilling life, with their soul mate, who they believe is out there. But they are discouraged by what they come across, and what they find to be too many opportunities for compromise, rather than the soulmate of their dreams.

Practical vs Idealistic

People who have had some experience dating often conclude that the choices are between settling, or giving up. But they are missing the number one rule for success; knowing what success looks like, and, secondly, how to achieve it.

If I were to have all the best intentions to be a professional singer, unless I studied voice, and did what was necessary, I would still be the only one who wanted to hear myself sing. But if I studied, and then took the right steps, I might be able to gather a few nickels on a street corner. A practical plan of achievement leads to success.

Why is Dating so Difficult

Dating is difficult because you don’t have a clear idea of what you want

First step is determining “who” to date. But your idea of who to date is vague, at best. Some of you have “standards” which are anywhere from whimsical, to ironclad. But they are based on subjective desires, rather than thought-through concepts for a life mate. You need to learn how to pull out your own needs from your subconscious mind, so your mate is a fit for life.

Second step might be recreating you, so you are as attractive and suitable for them, as they are for you. This is not about subjective physical attractiveness! If you want a very honest person, but you lie at the drop of a hat, you need to make some changes. Otherwise you will not be attractive in a way that matches your image of ideal.

Third step is to learn how to filter out the beggars, from the royal persons. As you become clear about who you are, and who they are, the magic starts to happen. Yes, there is magic that happens, and it is practical to know how it works so the magic is only mysterious to those who are uneducated.

Why is Dating so Difficult

Because, if you want to succeed in finding your soulmate, you have to learn how to do it. You have to learn how to match yourself, and then you have to learn how to grow your relationship into the lifetime of joy, and happiness, a great marriage brings you. It is not a fairytale to have a great marriage. It is a practical achievement, made by couples who know how.

How Can I Guarantee My Marriage Will Work? Let’s not split hairs about what is meant by guaranteed. I can guarantee that if you put a dime on top of a big book it will stay there. Of course if there is a flood or an earthquake or something from outside that changes the physics of a tiny object resting securely on a big

How Can I Guarantee My Marriage Will Work
A Promise is Only as Good as Your Knowledge

foundation I cannot expand my guarantee to include that.

Guaranteeing a happy marriage is actually a no-brainer when you understand the dynamics of marital relationships, so that is how I can guarantee my marriage will work, and how I can guarantee yours will, too.

How Can I Guarantee My Marriage Will Work

Marital education

The Wright brothers didn’t go to flight school because there wasn’t anybody who had flown before. But they studied wind, airfoils, engines, propellers and explored effects of all kinds of things which they thought might impact their attempts at flight. Following them were people who studied how to apply earlier sciences to flying, and combining the sciences into courses that covered all the important factors. Today, you can learn to fly with a guarantee that if you heed the warnings and learn the limitations, you can enjoy flying your own plane, safely. The same is true for marriage.

Faith based marital education needs scientific explanations

Statistically the people who learn about marriage from a faith based curriculum will fare no better than the general population. Now, the trouble with statistics are that they find averages, so it may very well be that some faith based education is 100% effective while there are enough out there that throws off the numbers. But why shouldn’t you be able to know which is which? Why shouldn’t you understand the simplicity of any directive? Surely the 10 commandments can all be backed up with reason, so why not the same for marital directives?

Learn the physics of marriage

When you study horticulture and learn the how and whys of a flower, the appearance and aroma will be no less beautiful. The biggest change is you will be able to sustain its beauty longer by caring for it in ways that help it flourish and grow. Your knowledge will enhance your appreciation.

Marriage is romantic and deeply spiritual, so some think learning about it scientifically will distract from their enjoyment and experience, maybe because they have to think about what they say and do. But that is not true. No matter what you do

How Can I Guarantee My Marriage Will Work
True Marriage Education Will Reduce Chances of Divorce

for enjoyment, be it skiing or swimming or dancing or whatever; the more you know the more you will enjoy your pursuits.

Where to learn about marriage is important, as is how you learn about it

The best source of marital education is from a source where they can show you the principles they rely upon, so you can determine if you agree. You also want to know what they believe your expectations should be after learning; what are the benefits of marriage and so on. Learning comes in levels, so they should be able to define your benefits in terms of milestones.

How you learn is very personal. Some learn best by reading, others by hearing and still others need on-on-one tutoring. The main thing is you need to learn in a way that works for you!

Try our methods. We have online courses, a comprehensive book and all kinds of articles. By all means you need to learn. Then you will see for yourself “how can I guarantee my marriage will work” is by getting the education you need; guaranteed!

3 Mistakes Women Make Picking a Husband

picking a husbandNo matter how you cut it the bottom line is that women have the final say about who they marry. I suppose the same can be said about men, but it its not quite as relevant. And, contrary to misunderstanding of what equality really means, women carry the greater burden of marital harmony.

So, if the divorce rate tells us anything, it is that women have not chosen their life mates well.

That they are not expert in marriage is another topic, but I have listed the three most common errors women make when it comes to choosing a husband to help you see if you are heading in the right direction.
1.Choosing looks over character – Is he drop-dead gorgeous? If he is, remember that looks improve with love and diminish in importance over time. Don’t even imagine a man’s looks has anything to do with what kind of husband he will be, or how much you will love him in the future. This does not mean you should date men who repulse you, because looks reflect inner traits. But dating only 10’s because they are 10’s, is a huge mistake.
2.Loving him because he loves you – Does he love you like crazy? One of the greatest traps is when women love men because men love them. The kind of man he is outweighs how much he loves you. Don’t be flattered into a relationship that will fail.
3.Making romantic, socially graceful and generous, high priorities – Employing these are social and dating techniques used by savvy men. Although these traits may indicate deeply genuine character traits it is difficult to know, sometimes for many months. But remember, you are picking a husband, and father for your kids; open your eyes. Social skills are learned skills. They have nothing to do with the man’s inner strengths and weaknesses.

The best way to pick a husband for marriage is by creating a list of all the favorable traits you can think of for your future husband. Then prioritize your list and continuously challenge your top 10 selections.

Make sure you are being practical. Your future children depend on you doing a good job. Above all, make sure you are being honest with yourself. If you think you’re being shallow you probably are. If that is who you want to be, it is okay. But think about the risks that come with choosing a book by its cover.

After you complete your list of positive traits, it is time to make a list of all of the traits you would find unacceptable. Scrutinize your lists to make sure they are accurate, in accordance with your principles and values.

Remember you are not just picking a husband. You are finding the future father of your children. Make sure they will have the best dad who ever lived and you will have the best husband who ever lived.

Most men marry the first woman who will have them (sorry guys). So it is up to you to select a quality man and treat him right.

The final and most important thing to do is to pray for guidance and protection. It’s a great idea to do the above with a sincere request for God to kill any relationship He thinks will not work well.

God helps those who help themselves. Trust Him, and do your part. He will help you.

14 Differences Between the Girl you Date and the Woman you Marry
Think about one of the questions below for a moment.

If you are married, in what way is the girl you dated different from the woman you married? If you are single or dating, in what way do you want the woman you marry to be different from the girl you are dating? What thoughts come to your mind? I bet you have a few thoughts, I also do.

After being married for over 3 years to my awesome wife, l can testify that the girl l dated is different from the woman l proudly call my wife. She has definitely improved in ways I never imagined, and for the better.

If you go through dating and your marriage journey, you will inevitable look back to realize the girl you dated is different from the woman are married to. To clarify, l do not mean she would become a brand new person. What l mean is that her priorities and perspective about life and marriage will improve in many ways. Hopefully, for the better.

Either way, the woman you marry will not be the same as the girl you dated.

1. The girl you date does not want to meet your family or friends, she wants you all to herself.
The woman you marry wants to know your family and friends. She knows without them, you would not be where you are, and who you are today.

2. The girl you date is overly worried about her nails been done all the time, her eyelashes looking in a certain style, and being beautiful for her peers. Her physical beauty is important to her.
The woman you marry is not overly worried about her nails being done. Instead, she is worried about being beautiful for her man, even if that means wearing no makeup. She focuses on her internal beauty and character building, because she knows real beauty comes from within.

3. The girl you date only cares about her career and her vision for life. She comes before the relationship, and does not make her future plans with you in mind.
The woman you marry cares about your career and your vision of life as well as her own. She knows you also have a plan, and works together with you to achieve the goals you both have. The marriage is her priority.

4. The girl you date loves the financial cushion you can provide. She also expects something back whenever she gives.
The woman you marry wants to build a financial cushion with you. She believes that two heads will always be better than one. When she gives, she does not expect anything back.

5. The girl you date believes she knows everything.
The woman you marry is open to learning something new, and knows there is always room for improvement.

6. The girl you date is scared to tell you her deepest secrets.
The woman you marry will share her deepest secrets with you, even if it means losing you. She trusts you, and shares everything with you. She knows honesty is always the best policy.

7. The girl you date does not get excited about marriage and children (even if she wants to have some one day).
The woman you marry gets excited about marriage and starting a family with you.

8. The girl you date shows her cleavage all the time.
The woman you marry is more modest because she knows her attributes are for your eyes only.

9. The girl you date is not concerned about cooking for you.
The woman you marry loves not only to cook, but chooses delicious and healthy meals. The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach after all, right?

10. The girl you date is overly concerned about how long you will be around, and how she can keep you.
The woman you marry is not too concerned about keeping you because she knows you want to have a future with her. She is mature enough to know you can never force someone to stay and that you each have to choose each other every day, again and again.

11. The girl you date is not willing to compromise with you.
The woman you marry is willing to compromise, and sees compromise as a necessity for a healthy marriage

12. The girl you date thrives on constant attention from you.
The woman you marry mirrors your affection and thrives on providing you with the love, support, and respect you need.

13. The girl you date tries to change who you are and compares you to her ex.
The woman you marry accepts you for who you are and will not compare you to her ex. She knows you are the best and that you cannot change another person no matter how hard you try.

14. The girl you date has to be entertained.
The woman you marry is someone you can have fun with, relax, do activities, or do nothing together and still enjoy each other’s company.

What are your thoughts on these differences between the girl you date and the woman you marry?