Mentoring Image Bearers

Mentoring Image Bearers

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A Christian educator, team trainer, pastor to the community with a hope to reach families.

09/09/2023

Found this on the wall today… and quite enjoyed it.

Rivers of Water 08/16/2022

Sharing a post from my blog.
Some encouraging thoughts from Ps 46.

Rivers of Water Excitement tends to build when we understand passages of Scripture in new ways! Audrey was preparing music for an upcoming Sunday at church, and started a conversation about the meaning of Psalm 46…

07/11/2022

Christian Leadership - Latent Dangers of Authority

I have been involved on various leadership boards in churches and various ministries over the years. There are many quality people in leadership who are doing a great job. There are some who I would not place in that category. This post is not about judgment or blowing a whistle in any way. It is meant more as a tool to help leaders or potential leaders do an occasional self audit on their own attitudes and beliefs.

As a young boy, I considered the members of Deacon's, Elder's and Ministry Boards as being so close to God, very spiritual people. As I grew older, I learned that this was not necessarily the case. There are Scriptural requirements about who sits on a Board of a Church, but only God knows the heart. We have all been disobedient to God.

But the underlying thought I had as a boy is not uncommon. What happens when people on a Board believe themselves to be superior to those they serve because of the position? "Dear God, may it not be the case."

One of my favorite professors in college was the one who asked me why? Back in those days, it frustrated me because it meant more work. I now know that it was largely Reuben who forced me to dig deeper. He taught me not to accept the general views of other believers, but to ask the right questions.

Today I have a high respect for those in authority over me, as well as fellow pastors. I need people to challenge my thinking, and my understanding of God's word. It continues to yield humility and further study.

Yet along the way I have met many who are always right. They do not take kindly to being questioned. Whether they lead in the home, or at a higher level, they are often bullies. Many lack communication skills. Rather than ask, "What do you mean by that?" or "Can I rephrase what I think you are saying?", they tell you where you are mistaken. It doesn't do any good to try to explain that they misunderstood.

Unfortunately some tend to believe that the fact of their being "right" justifies them completely. They remind me of the Pharisees of Jesus' day - zealous of religious rules, patting their own backs because of how well they do, justifying what isn't up to par or blaming it on others.

Jesus set a child in the midst of His students. He said that it is impossible but that offenses will come, but "Woe to the one through whom the offense comes." The offense is recorded, and it will be dealt with one day.

Now there are very ugly cases, such as...
1. The father who uses his religious teaching to shame his wife to be obedient to him, and to keep quiet about his other illegal actions which he justifies in other ways.
2. The Jim Jones Massacre. If unfamiliar, this is a true story about a man who taught that He was a return of Elijah the prophet and a manifestation of Christ. He ultimately led his followers to commit mass su***de.

There are some much less offensive cases, which people would find easier to justify, especially since there may be no victims. Don't kid yourself. Eventually someone will be hurt.

The problem is not new. Consider this, from dictionary.com...
"The quote, 'Power tends to corrupt; absolute power corrupts absolutely' comes from the nineteenth-century English historian Lord Acton (1834–1902) in a letter to Bishop Mandell Creighton about how historians should judge the abuse of power by past rulers, especially popes."

In the meantime, what do we who lead the sharing of the gospel do about ourselves? I suggest that nobody is without the temptation to wield their own power without consideration of how it affects others. We must all take a personal audit from time to time.

1. Do you ever prevent others subject to your authority from understanding what you are proposing through your decision? Have you ever said or heard words like this on your Board, "But we don't need to explain all of it because they won't understand. We make this decision for their good and that is all they need to know." or "The reason we are in this position is because we have the resources and understanding to figure it out. They have to trust us for that." I can't stress enough how terrible it is that anyone would believe these kinds of words.

The law does provide for a parent to take care of children who are too young to decide for themselves, or for an adult to do so for a parent who has lost the capacity to make decisions for themselves. However, the law is clear that those taking this responsibility are acting only for the best interests of the individual who does not have the capacity to take care of it themselves.

There is no biblical Power of Attorney over spiritual matters for anyone. If you believe yourself to be better equipped than the persons under your spiritual care, then there is a problem. The Scripture teaches elders to lead as servants, to teach students how to be like Bereans (knowing how to check out what you teach), and to do so with full integrity. Elders are to be transparent, not hiding things from those they serve. Perhaps it should be said that if you cannot trust me to know what you decide about me, then I cannot trust you to be in leadership over me.

2. Are there ever any times when Scripture does not apply to what is necessary in making your decision? Someone says, "Yes, when it comes to someone who has broken the law, it goes above us to the police." I say, "No, the Scripture says that we are all under the authority of the land, that God puts those powers in place and commands us to be submissive. So if someone breaks the law, then it is Scriptural that the police handle it.

We are discussing whether or not someone in charge of decisions that affect the spiritual welfare of the group should overlook Scripture on any matter in making their decision. Since the Scripture spells out all spiritual direction, then how can any decision be made without consulting God's word, or prayer for that matter?

3. What is done with sensitive information? There are sometimes situations that are sensitive. Someone comes to an elder to share private information, seeking counsel. The details are kept confidential. There is no need to divulge that to another elder or anyone else. Nobody is told for the sake of prayer. Nobody is told for the sake of trying to find better wisdom.

If you are uncertain how to respond as a leader, then the correct action is to say so, and to refer the person to seek out someone who you believe would be more capable.

4. Matthew 18 is often misunderstood by people in general. Do you see any place in the passage for dismissing a member from the church for good? Perhaps the question should be broader. There are several passages in Scripture that seek to correct others for their sin. There are some who find ways to put certain situations into one passage and others into a different passage. However, each passage supports the other. They don't negate each other. The church leadership are not confronting someone to decide their fate; however they come alongside to bear the individual's burden (Gal 6:2) while giving godly counsel and direction. If we see it as fate, or if we see Matthew 18 as a means to excommunicate, then we misunderstand the entire purpose of the chapter. There are several stories, all which teach about forgiveness and being restored to Christ. That is the goal. Obviously, if someone doesn't want restoration they also cannot teach others about Christ; but this is not the focal point of the passage.

Galatians 6 also teaches about the attitude brought by those seeking to restore. "Brethren, if a man is overtaken in any trespass, you who are spiritual restore such a one in a spirit of gentleness, considering yourself lest you also be tempted." Nobody is without the ability to fall down, and it is only with that in mind that we should approach others. I once shared a personal failure with someone I trusted. He responded in surprise saying that he didn't understand how someone could be tempted with that. He did his best to pray for me and keep me accountable, but his initial reaction caused me to seek the help I needed elsewhere.

Gentleness doesn't imply "kids gloves". But it does mean care is being taken. For example, did we consider whether there ever was a transgression? Perhaps the individual did not offend, and here comes a group of elders to investigate and tell them in a loving way to leave the church. Ever try to swim with a millstone attached to your neck?

5. When you spend personal time in God's word, what is your main perspective? Are you looking for God to search your heart and try your ways, or are you seeking to find Scripture to support where you are already at? "Oh Father, make us always students of your word, before we ever shepherd others."

Gary Pryzner

07/05/2022

Finding God's will is not always what we think it is.

We become enamored with stories about Abraham and Moses being called of God to fulfill a specific purpose. Our response might be something like, "Wow. What if that were myself that He were calling." It can be easy to read into signs and events thinking God actually did call us.

We forget that God calls all to trust in Him. Think of the hundreds of thousands being obedient as they followed Moses. Yes, they saw miracles done (it seemed) at Moses' hand. But not at their own. Who were they? What value did they have before God?

Most often, God calls to general trust. Most often His will is not specific in ministry or purpose. Most often it is "find something to do and do it well". If an elderly woman is struggling to get her walker off the curb when the light turns to "walk", are you going to pray for a sign as to whether God would have you help her across?

I think we miss many opportunities by thinking too much about it. Prayer is good, and wanting to know His will is good. But rather than say, "I will wait for a sign", it may be wiser to say, "Father, you know my heart is to follow your will, so guide me. If I take a wrong step, please hinder me." Then take opportunities and trust God.

Pastors, Missionaries and Christian leaders are the same. It may be that they had a calling to a specific ministry at one time, but they don't receive a daily signal from heaven for everything they do. Most is done in general prayer. I am not saying that God doesn't guide them within ministry through the Holy Spirit. Example: When the girl had the migraine at camp and requested not to take part in archery that one morning several years ago, I acted generally in caring for her when I asked about her water intake and general health. Often it ends here, but for some reason I felt a strong prodding to pray for her healing, and so I did. Immediately the headache disappeared and she wanted to participate in the class.

Since those days at Camp, the direct calls to do something specific have been absent. But the need to generally follow Christ in obedience still exists.

Someone once told me that God's will is a river, and that everything in the river is okay. What he has for us specifically, He prepares us for, but doesn't always tell us. Circumstances can often lead us to where He wants us. I would often respond to youth asking about God's will, that if they pray for direction regularly, then why would they believe that they would somehow miss God's will. God wanted Moses to do something, so He presented Himself in a burning bush that wasn't consumed by the flame. Was it possible for Moses to miss that event? What if Moses had taken a different turn and not seen the bush? The answer of course is that God would have gone where Moses was. It wasn't the specific bush that mattered.

So when you are praying about God's will concerning your future, your future mate, your future ministry, it is much better to trust that God will not let you miss this, and perhaps has already taken you down the correct road. Any fear of what is on your current road does not mean that God has chosen a different purpose for you. Give the fear to Him, and ask that He guide you. Or ask that He close the doors that are wrong to walk through or help you not even to see them.

There are times in pursuing a specific ministry or mate that we need two to pray. The Board or Church may ask the candidate to pray for God's leading and wisdom in taking the position while they in turn pray for God's leading and wisdom in offering the position to that candidate. I find it strange when, many years later, certain questions come up in which the Board or Church ends the contract and tells the individual they have to go. What happened to praying together and both seeking this final decision? If it is mutual that it start, should it not be mutual that it end? Does God not lead both?

God's general will is already recorded in more than one place. But here is one, in Micah 6:8, "He has shown you, O man, what is good; And what does the Lord require of you But to do justly, To love mercy, And to walk humbly with your God?" This is not something we have to inquire about. Remember, "He who is faithful in what is least is faithful also in much."

- Gary Pryzner

03/17/2022

Authority, Balance and Control

The karateka does not earn a black belt by choosing their own regimen. A student cannot already know what he does not, nor does he know how to acquire it. None of us are self-made.

The fight about control and authority is on, and I've been told that there is no balance to be had in this dispute. In other words, there is only one way to see what has happened to our world since March 2020.

I considered the pain of loss - of business, of family, of mental health, of (dare I say) freedom. I thought about the fear and the reactions and choices made.

I remember complaining about the raw pain from knuckle pushups after the first ten. Or, "What do you mean 1000 sit-ups in a morning warm-up? [Ok, I can't do that either, but that was the regimen of a 9th degree black that I know.] They say your muscle memory doesn't even begin until you've done at least 1000 blocks, and you don't become qualified until you've done 10,000.

As a follower of Christ, I did not begin to understand the disciplines that were necessary to make me look like Jesus. The Father spoke to Lucifer, "Have you considered my servant, Job?" He knew that this would bring about a time of testing for this righteous man. But for what purpose? Was He trying to eliminate some flaw? If you think so, you do not understand the book of Job. What God wanted to do, was show Job something of Himself.

Now let us think about that for a moment. Can we apply it to ourselves? What does God want for His children? Does He want you and I to have a better vision of Christ, of Himself? Does He want us to seek the Father? or to be people who get what we want out of life?

Does He not discipline every son (child) whom He receives? (Hebrews 12) Does He not set the regimen? Does He not know best what we need and how to achieve that in our lives?

The student of karate knows that if his balance is off, so is the block and the punch. Balance is extremely important, as it helps to maintain the stance. On what do we stand?

The balance that we face as believers, is often a difficult one. On one hand we live in a democratic country, with a responsibility to speak out. One the other hand we live under the authority of God, who never once in Scripture teaches that we have a right to democracy or freedom. In fact, as I study the pages I find that the emphasis of God's word is not that we win our battles (whatever they be), but that our response bears the marks of Christ.

What does this look like? Does God not discipline us to remove from us things that make us look proud and full of self? Does He not work to remove anger and hatred and arrogance and to replace them with the fruit of the Spirit - love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith and temperance?

It has been during times of greatest suffering that I have learned to look most beyond myself. "God, if there is ever a time I needed you most, it is now. Help me?" What I discovered is that God wanted me to see a picture of Himself. The God of greatest suffering, is a picture of Christ, paying for my sin - selfless, love, hope, endurance. There is so much that He is, and I fall so short. But looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of my faith... that is the focus of Hebrews 12.

Control? Temperance is self control.
Authority? The authority of Christ is authority over my responses.
Balance? Father, help me not to be so caught up in what I lost, that I think that you in your loving wisdom were somehow unaware.

Gary

01/26/2022

Except for a couple Bible studies, I have been fairly quiet on most fronts for some time: Facebook, blog, general life. To an extent it has been somewhat of a survival mode, but it is time to speak.

I have not stopped wrestling and hopefully growing in my own faith. The word of God is so necessary to us - must not put it to the side. So for those listening, let's get back to some good faith-growth thoughts from the word of God. ☺️

*What God Said!*

Genesis 1, points out the importance of God's word right from the beginning. I think we sometimes miss the obvious in our search for value.

This is the beginning of mankind. If God has anything of great importance to teach a new creation, this is where it will be. The lesson is obvious. "And God said." It is repeated, over and over. "And God said." He spoke all into existence. He spoke life, He breathed life. Man became a living soul.

The Scripture is filled with passages that back this up. God gives life. Jesus is referred to as the Word of God. He speaks life.

"The words that I speak to you are spirit, and they are life." Jn 6:63

But life also yields life. If you are rooted in the Source of Life, then you will also speak His words. According to James, what we speak can bring life or death.

James 3:8-11
"But no man can tame the tongue. It is an unruly evil, full of deadly poison. With it we bless our God and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in the similitude of God. Out of the same mouth proceed blessing and cursing. My brethren, these things ought not to be so. Does a spring send forth fresh water and bitter from the same opening?"

If we continue reading, we see the problem. It is about the source. Is our source from above, from a life giving, loving Father? Or is it from below, from that which wants to boast, envy, and lie? The fruit of our lips is the result of our source.

So what is my diet? To which words do I listen? I will speak those out. To bring this home and make it current, let's ask a very tough question. Do I spend my time reading what people think about our rights and freedoms, or do I read about a Saviour who gave His life to bring me life? Do I condemn authority? Or do I speak love to a world lost in the throes of a pandemic? Jesus said that "from the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks." Luke 6:45

"Father, how I need your words today... right now. Help me to know how to speak peace and love to those I encounter today, who may be hurting or lost, or just needing some encouragement. In the beginning, You spoke into darkness, and created light! Give me time in Your word today, root my words in Yours, so that I might provide light to some dark corner for someone today."

08/05/2021

I have the opportunity to share at a family camp again in a couple weeks. As I was considering what to say, I was reminded of a passage of Scripture that really came alive a few years back when I was sharing it at camp. It was one of the ways that I began to understand how faith works. It is Genesis 1.

I read the chapter to the youth, slowly. I challenge you to sit down now and do the same. Then answer these questions...

1. What is the most common phrase? I have heard it said that it is "And God saw that it was good..." Nope. That would be the second most common. What is the most common 3 word phrase? [Some versions may render it as a 2 word phrase.]

2. Repetition in Scripture teaches that God sees it as important. What is so great about that phrase?

3. If you looked at chapter 2, you would see that the 3 word phrase basically continues. But in chapter 3, a new thought is introduced that interrupts that short phrase... specifically in verse 1. What do those 3 words teach us?

4. Later in the chapter we see a return to the first 3 words. Why is this important and what does this teach us about the word of God?

[I hope some of you take the time to look at this and respond. I am keeping it short, other than the Scripture read. ;) I will respond in a bit with what I learned and see. It's an awesome chapter of faith.]

07/15/2021

Just a thought...
It can be difficult to enter ministry in a new locale. There are so many others with plenty of experience. That is why I mentioned on my webpage that I want to be under the authority of other church leaders and pastors, and not waving my own flag (so to speak).

Please know that I do not want to come across as though I know something, or even the answers to tough questions. I also do not want to give the impression that I have to be involved in anyone's life in particular.

Rather, my context is that I am a servant with a heart to reach young families and young singles, and to minister the gospel of Christ to all in the community. The page may be a conversation starter for some, a blog to consider various ideas for others, or just a something to read. I am open about my faith, and I love to share the things I have learned to apply to my life. While I have lived through some very difficult situations, I don't think I have ever been in a place where my faith is stretched as much as it is now.

07/13/2021

Here is a little tool that has helped me and many others. Perhaps it can help you as well. I will give the abridged version, so if you have questions, please ask.

The tool helps with many situations in life. It could be dealing with habitual sin. Or perhaps it is a cycle of thoughts that, once triggered, causes anxiety, self-degradation, forms of asceticism or depression. Or it could be a misappropriation of Scripture causing one truth to suppress others.

The basic teaching begins again with the definition of faith. What is faith not? Faith is not trying harder to believe something. Faith is not believing what I want to happen so that I somehow make it happen. Faith is not living in fake smiles and saying all the right things.

When Heb 11 says that faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen, it is describing the essence of a practice of faith. It is not saying that we can change the outcome by positive thinking.

So what is faith? It is believing what God says. It is believing what Jesus says. Faith is basically believing God. Adam and Eve were created to have faith already, and as such they had perfect relationship with God... walking in the garden in the cool of the day. When Adam chose not to believe God and eat the fruit, he and Eve found the effect of a faith crisis. They ran and hid from their Creator. God sought them out. But mankind has been hiding ever since. When God gives us the faith to believe Jesus to be our Saviour, it is a restoration of faith and relationship. But it is not because we 'believe' something. It is because we 'believe God'.

Rom 10:17, "Faith comes by hearing and hearing by the word of God."
Eph 2:8-9 shows that our faith is not ours: "and that not of yourselves lest anyone should boast."

Jesus often began by saying, "Truly, truly I say to you," or "Believe me, that..." Jesus is the Word of God, the message from the Father to the lost world. "For God so loved the world, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish, but have everlasting life." During my college years, some emphasized the difference between 'believe in', and 'believe on'. But the more I looked at the Greek, I less I could find of that distinction. The Greek was often the same. The importance is to believe, believe the Word, believe Christ, believe the One who is the way, the truth and the life.

Now while that in itself is basically the answer to sin of any kind in a nutshell, it doesn't necessarily help us from tripping and falling over issues in our lives. Christians still fall to sin. But the tool I am giving you, begins with a proper understanding of faith.

TOOL: Train of Fact, Faith, Choice, Feeling
The cars are in that order. Fact comes first, and it is basically the engine of the train, directing us in life. Feeling is the caboose.

Fact is what is, and I choose it for the alliteration, but it is basically truth. You see, based on the definition above, you cannot have faith if you don't know God's word. You can't have faith without knowing God's promise - faith in what? But if you know what God says you can trust it. So fact and truth represents all that God says. I must know His word to know what direction to go.

Faith is choosing to believe the truth, the facts, what God says.

Choice (oops what happened to my alliteration - should I have called it function?) So Choice, is what we choose to do, based on what we believe to be true. It really shows the train engine which direction to pull us in life.

Feeling is the back of the train, it always follows. It can take a long time for feeling to change, but eventually it does.

Illustration 1:
The world tends to put it backwards. First they remove truth. (Even some Christians try to teach that we all have our own truth.) Truth becomes lost, it no longer guides our beliefs. So if we have no truth, no fact, then the only thing left to base choices on is feelings. The order becomes: Feelings, Faith (believing what I feel sure feels real), and Choice.

Illustration 2:
Imagine a problem. A boy is taught to wait for marriage, but with all the teasing and scoffing and bullying he has received, he sure feels like no woman would ever want him. So one day he happens on some n**e pictures online, and begins to experiment. He feels so strongly that he is unwanted, unimportant, a castaway; that God is not interested in his sexuality. So he chooses po*******hy and unknowingly begins to crash his future relationships before they have even begun. What did his parents say, oh yes, "We just want you to be happy." So feelings matter to him, and over and over he practices relief for those feelings in a way that hides his truth, his fears, his inability to communicate his feelings.

Now let's take this illustration through a different route. What does God's word say? The boy is taught to wait for marriage, to keep pure. He knows God's word, and has been memorizing it. What does he feel? Oh, that hasn't changed. He feels unwanted, unimportant, a castaway; that God is not interested in his sexuality. So he goes to God's word to see what God says about each of these areas, and he finds that God has made him unique, for a purpose, that God has not tossed him aside, but wants to work in his life. He finds that God is very much interested in his sexuality, but places it in a marriage context with an emphasis on the importance of waiting. So he chooses to believe these things, even though his experience doesn't help him feel it at all. Choosing to believe what God says, allows him to say no to po*******hy. He walks away... and it may yet be a while before his feelings change, but they will follow.

That's basically the tool. But one more illustration to show how it works with anxiety, depression, and other similar things.

[Before I share this, I want to lead with a reminder that I am not a doctor. Mental and psychological concerns can be the result of medications, brain injuries, or things that need the care of a licensed practitioner, and hopefully one who doesn't blame others for the situation. However, the tool can still assist, and I know of at least one case where the doctor removed the prescription he had previously laid down because of how well this tool works. I bring this reminder because, even Jesus, told a man after healing the leprosy, to go show himself to the priest. The priest served several functions, one being health care, and another being spiritual health.]

Sin is always based on what we believe about ourselves, about God, and about our situation. Depression, anxiety, etc, are results of several sets of beliefs that fall out at the same time. For example, anxiety can be described as that which results from fears that we are unable to deal with. A panic attack can be described as the effect of a series of anxieties.

Now in every fear there is some truth and some lie. The person might believe, 'I can't do anything right.' Maybe they had many failures, but the statement is still false. The same person might believe, 'Everybody hates me.' Maybe they have had several enemies and maybe they reacted in such a way that they started to influence negative responses from others. But it doesn't mean they are intrinsically hated. They can learn to behave in a way where others wouldn't avoid them, and where they can make friends.

Now imagine someone who has several of these types of anxieties. Some event reminds them of one of those feelings/beliefs. Then that in turn reminds them of another; and then another. Eventually it reminds them of the most current event, which brings them back to the first feeling. If the event seems stressful in anyway, such as a deadline, or a need to perform, the events begin to spiral faster and faster. Event triggers A, which triggers B, which triggers C, which triggers the event reminder, and on and on it goes. The cycle moves so quickly that it is beyond control, and the feelings are way too real, and they panic.

The answer is to calm them down and derail any one of the anxieties, by naming specifically what the lie is and what God's truth is. "I can't do anything right? That isn't true. Scripture says I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." The mind changes direction, the Truth (Fact) is established, and the choice (anxiety in this case) is changed. The person can be taught to respond with truth at every single anxiety. What is the truth, what do I choose to believe... and it derails the spiral, derails the actions, and resets the train down a different direction.

We all need to practice our faith by knowing the truths that we believe. If we believe what God says, it will change our lives. "And you shall know the truth and the truth will set you free." John 8:32

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