05/24/2023
Conversations from the Laundry Room
Before you Rub that Lamp!
Women have this picture of who we are supposed to be, what we’re supposed to do, how we’re supposed to behave, and what we’re supposed to look like doing it. It’s been created for us by society, history, social media, and the mirror. We must be the perfect Mom, the perfect career or business woman, the perfect partner or wife with the perfect body. Don’t forget to also maintain the perfect home – be a chef in the kitchen, Mary Poppins to your kids, the Community and Volunteer Go-To, and well, be you-know in the bedroom. We’re playing a new game – The One with the Longest TO DO List wins! We’re terrified that someone will figure out that we are in fact not accomplishing all of it. IT’S EXHAUSTING. And it’s impossible. To wrap it all up with a bow (that’s now covered in ketchup), we feel like there is something wrong with us because we can’t do it all. We secretly resign ourselves to being defeated while acting the opposite in this long running production of Life. (Spoiler alert – there’s nothing wrong with us.)
We’re so busy trying to replicate everyone else’s version of what’s expected, that we don’t even get a chance to pause and find out if that’s actually who WE want to be! Or who we even are. Or what we actually want. We need to find and hit the pause button. Somewhere between lunches and laundry, or before the house stirs in the morning or after it settles at night, we need to grab pen and paper and take the time to ask ourselves, “What do I really want? (Note: You can’t get it if you don’t know what IT is!) Here’s a tip to get you started. Imagine this:
You find an old lamp waaay back in the fridge behind all the forgotten leftovers with absolutely NO idea how it got there. You bring it out, try to scrape the mold off it and a Genie slowly emerges from the lamp, shivering. He apologizes and says, “I know I’m supposed to grant you 3 wishes, but I’m so cold, I can only put one together for you. What is your wish?” What is your wish? Is it money? How much? Enough to pay this month’s bills or enough to never have to check your bank account before making a purchase? Is it freedom? To do what? To have more time at home with your kids? Travel? Spend cold winters in a tropic paradise? Start a non-profit?
Before you cash in that one wish, it might be a good idea to figure out what that wish looks like – for you and your family and the life it’s going to give you. It costs nothing to ask the question but it can cost everything if you don’t. Without the answer, you’ll never stop the acting. Once you know what you will wish for (want) , you can look around and start seeing what in your life is bringing you closer and what is moving you further away. Solutions come when the problems are exposed. Then let the Genie grant your wish. Spoiler alert number 2 – you can always update it anytime. After all, once the Genie warms up, you got a couple more wishes coming at you! (Spoiler alert number 3 – You can ask for an infinite amount of wishes!) Just know:
a) You DON’T have to be/do it all
b) Be ok with that
c) Be/have/do what you DO want
Until next time, Cheers!
