Facilitate Discovery

Many people say, “I don’t like change.”

What they’re really saying is that they don’t like being pushed out of their comfort zone into the unknown.

The unknown brings discomfort – feelings of self-doubt, uncertainty and uneasiness.

Discomfort is an opportunity to learn and grow.

The most successful leaders have mastered the art of becoming comfortable with discomfort.

How do they do it?
- They recognize what triggers discomfort in them
- They’re willing to step out of their comfort zone
- They push through self-doubt and accept the challenge

What causes discomfort is different for each of us.

It may be saying no, giving constructive feedback, setting boundaries for respectful interactions with others, initiating a challenging conversation or receiving a dissenting point of view.

Whatever it is, learning to sit with the moment of discomfort and thoughtfully moving forward will increase your success as a leader and in all areas of your life.

What causes you discomfort? Are you taking up the challenge or opting out?

I'm always fascinated by the "word of the year."

It reflects what we were talking about in popular culture in the past year, changes in how we think, what's important to us and emerging trends.

In 2024 Oxford chose "brain rot" 😱 as their word of the year. It's a term "used to capture concerns about the impact of consuming excessive amounts of low-quality online content, especially on social media.

The term increased in usage frequency by 230% between 2023 and 2024."

Over 37,000 people worldwide voted for this word. I think this is good news because it shows that we're more aware than ever that we need to be mindful about what we put on social media and what content we consume.

What kind of posts do you value most on LinkedIn? What would you like to see less of?

As holiday season approaches, I remember family Christmases when I was young. I have 8 siblings; that's a lot of personalities to manage and it wasn't always pretty! 😵‍💫Maybe you can relate. You're probably planning to get together with family, some of whom you haven't seen in awhile, and maybe for good reason.

Here are some quick tips to help you avoid common communication "bad habits" over the holidays. (see full article by Angela Haupt) 🎀
🎄Making it all about you – we’re wired to find common ground with other people, but redirecting every conversation back to you can be deflating to the other person. Use active listening skills, curiosity and paraphrasing so the person feels heard.
🎄Shutting down – do you tend to withdraw when someone says something you don't like? Practice saying, “I’m upset. I just need a moment right now,” rather than walking away without a word.
🎄Frequent interrupting – it’s a common bad habit and one we may not be aware of. Notice whether you interrupt others; reflect on why you do this. Maybe you didn’t like what the person was saying or you didn’t feel heard. Practice listening skills and wait until others finish before you respond.
🎄Rambling on, and on, and on – if you find yourself rambling, take a moment to gather your thoughts before continuing. Plan ahead for challenging situations so you know what you want to say.
🎄Distracted “listening” – humans are just not great listeners; we’re easily pulled away by constant distractions. Instead, put away your phone and remove distractions. Focus attention on the other person - look them in the eye, nod and avoid planning what you’re going to say in response.
🎄One-upping - if someone is telling you about their vacation, listen instead of talking about your own recent and more exciting vacation. You’ll get to know people better and that goes a long way to success at work and home.
🎄Opinion-jacking – this is restating someone else’s opinion as your own – usually done by a man to a woman – another bad habit you may not be aware of. Observe your own interactions with others and make sure you’re not doing this!
🎄Offering unsolicited advice - sometimes people just want to be heard. Before offering advice, ask the person if they’re open to a few suggestions or if they just want you to listen. That way, they can let you know where they’re at.

When you really want to one-up your brother-in-law, give your sister some advice or check your phone at the dinner table, try these tips instead! You might be surprised at how smoothly everything goes this year. After all, it is the season of miracles.

Happy holidays! 🌟☃️ 🎁

Credit: By Angela Haupt, October 31, 2024
https://time.com/7113647/how-to-break-toxic-communication-habits/

In the training world, we talk a lot about how to prepare for a courageous or difficult conversation, especially for new and emerging leaders. Why do we need courage for this conversation? Because it's going to be hard! And maybe we don't have what it takes to do this. How does this mindset impact our ability to lead and manage both the other person's reactions/behaviours as well as our own?

I like to reframe "courageous or difficult" conversations to "connecting conversations"? It may just be semantics, but we may feel less worried and more confident when our focus is connection. We know how to connect with others and we can use these skills to understand and build a bridge with this person. It shifts the focus to the person and not the problem.

Do you think shifting from courageous conversations to connecting conversations can refocus our mindset? What works for you?

Managers value employees who take initiative to act independently or to take on a "stretch" assignment. Before you can take initiative, however, make sure you've mastered and are on top of the tasks of your current role.
☀️ Are you ready to take more initiative in your work?
☀️ If you're a manager, do you have employees who are ready for a nudge to take more initiative? Are your employees comfortable taking risks?

When you hear, "It's just they way they are", it should be a huge red flag. Of course, it depends on the behaviour the person is referring to...but in my experience, it usually isn't good.

Examples: They are "moody, withdrawn, sarcastic, negative, disruptive..."

What to do?

Check it out for yourself. Observe the person in action:

How can you help this person build more self-awareness?
How can you respect their preferred ways of communicating and working? How can you help them to become a more collaborative team player?
How can you establish new team norms that support all team members?

If you allow the behaviour to continue, it becomes a norm.

It will spread throughout your team.

It will cause problems that can be prevented by dealing with it now.

It isn't good for anyone, including the person in question.

What have you done to build a high functioning team?


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Authority vs. Leadership: Know the Difference
Key Messages:
✅ When a person has authority, they can give orders and enforce decisions. Examples of authority in leadership are when management directs team activities or promotes or fires people.
✅ In contrast to authority, leadership involves guiding, assisting, supervising, and communicating with team members instead of giving orders or commands.
✅ Without leadership, you're merely forcing people to achieve the results you want instead of inspiring them to achieve the desired results.

Are you using your authority to get things done OR inspiring your team? How can you inspire more and command less? Start by giving them autonomy and ownership over projects, asking and listening, and coaching them along the way!
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Spot The Difference: Authority Vs Leadership Authority and leadership are two terms that are very often incorrectly used interchangeably. Here's the big differences between the two (and why it matters)

We have been more successful working from home than most of us would have imagined. But what are the long term impacts of minimal face-to-face interactions? If you want to boost connection and mitigate loneliness, face-to-face communication is the most effective (see article). Are we considering this when we make decisions around work-from-home? Like anything, I think balance is the key!
https://lnkd.in/eFY67z8R

Allyship in the workplace is using your privilege to help members of an underrepresented group have a stronger voice and more opportunity. We can all be allies...but it takes awareness and intention.
Here are 5 ways that individual employees can be an ally:
💜 Include underrepresented team members at the table and the conversation
💜 Ask for and listen to the opinions and needs of those whose voices are not typically heard
💜 Share the spotlight…give credit for ideas and achievements where due
💜 Mentor… share your knowledge and experience
💜 Invite a team member to collaborate on a project that elevates their visibility
There are so many other ways we can be allies. What other ideas do you have? Please share in the comments.

What does it mean to belong? It's not a simple question. Do I belong when others accept me into their circle, and on whose terms? Do I belong when I truly accept who I am, despite what others may think? I love this topic because most people say they want to belong in the circles they are part of: family (think about the infamous "black sheep"), school, community, workplace, at a party or gathering. Can I belong in every one of these places? Do I even want to?

I will explore this fascinating topic in my next free training event. Watch for the details!

What do you think it means to belong?

Even if we don't have authority to make a final decision, we can use our influence to impact the outcome. The BRAIN Model shows 5 different influencing styles.
Two facts you should know:
1- "Inspiring" through emotional appeal is the most effective style but it's also used the least by many leaders. Why?
2- If we act unconsciously, we continue to use the style we're most comfortable with (our go-to style), even when it isn't working!
👉Goal:
Learn to recognize your go-to style and, if it's not getting you the results you want, try another style.

👉Example Scenario and What Each Style Sounds Like:
You will be away from the office for 3 days next month. In your absence, you have asked one of your Team Leads, Rolf, to cover for you. Rolf has the potential to move into management but lacks confidence. He says that he’s not sure whether he wants that level of responsibility. He also feels that he’s too busy covering his own work and would fall behind too much.

🔎Bridging
“Sandrine has covered for me a couple of times in the past few years, but I’d like you to have this opportunity this time. Why don’t you talk to Sandrine about their experience before you decide?”
🔎Rationalizing
“This is how many people test their leadership skills to see if it’s a fit for them. And, of course you build skills to help you advance in your career.”
🔎Asserting
“This would be good for your career. You really need to do this.“
🔎Inspiring
“Early in my career, my manager suggested a similar option to me and I was skeptical. I really didn’t think I was ready for that type of responsibility but, in the end, I agreed to do it. That’s what sparked my interest in being a leader and I see the same opportunity for you.”
🔎Negotiating
“What if you shadow me for a couple of days to see what types of things can come up before you make a commitment. Also, I could have Zahid cover for you so you don’t fall behind in your own work.”

❓How can you use your influence more effectively?

What is your mindset around conflict? Do you think of it as mostly negative? Most people do. Conflict can, however, build understanding, add new information/ideas and solutions to the conversation, and push us to be more open and flexible.
Avoiding conflict can prolong the issue and damage relationships as well as our personal health and well-being.
🚩 Recognize that conflict has a purpose and learn to work with it, instead of trying to avoid it.
🚩 State your position clearly but remain open and listen to other's viewpoints. Be willing to adjust your thinking based on new information.
🚩 Focus on moving from a fixed position to one of collaboration - what would benefit both/all of us?
🚩Take time to build trust between the parties - get to know each other more, share why this is an important issue to you, be authentic (no hidden agendas)
🚩 Ask: What is one step we can take today that will move us closer to a solution?
How can you change your mindset around conflict?