The Kelmore Group offers Executive Coaching, Leadership Development and Conflict resolution. Through one-on-one and group training, learn to be your best.
Since 2005 The Kelmore Group has been a front runner in Executive Coaching, Leadership Development and Conflict resolution. Founded by Kerri Elmore, Certified Executive Coach PCC, Kerri's desire to develop leaders and help them reach their potential has been her driving passion. Helping leaders at all levels from a variety of industries to reach their goal has been the hallmark of her success.
03/06/2024
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=gD_1Eh6rqf8
CELEBRATE WHAT’S RIGHT WITH THE WORLD! | Dewitt Jones | TEDxSouthLakeTahoe Are you discouraged by what's happening in the world today? THEN WATCH THIS! In minutes, you'll rediscover the wonders and possibilities that surround us eve...
11/03/2020
This is what I needed to hear today
The Story of an Iconic Obama Campaign Chant, Animated Twelve artists collaborate to create a short animation on the origins of the popular cheer.
12/31/2019
20 Brutal Truths About Life No One Wants to Admit Time is your most valuable asset--you need to prioritize how you spend it.
Many of you know that I have had much learning to do with the parenting of my youngest son Max. A client of mine recommended the book "Get out of my life, but first can you drive me and Cheryl to the mall?" By Anthony E Wolf. This book is a must read for parents raising teenagers that are causing some waves. Even if the waters are calm this book will help you through the transition.
Fear of Transformation
From The Essene Book of Days by Danaan Parry
Sometimes I feel that my life is a series of trapeze swings. I'm either hanging on to a trapeze bar swinging along or, for a few moments in my life, I'm hurtling across space in between trapeze bars.
Most of the time, I spend my life hanging on for dear life to my trapeze-bar- of-the-moment. It carries me along a certain steady rate of swing and I have the feeling that I'm in control of my life. I know most of the right questions and even some of the right answers. But once in a while, as I'm merrily (or not so merrily) swinging along, I look ahead of me into the distance, and what do I see? I see another trapeze bar swinging toward me. It's empty, and I know, in that place that knows, that this new trapeze bar has my name on it. It is my next step, my growth, my aliveness going to get me. In my heart- of-hearts I know that for me to grow, I must release my grip on the present, well-known bar to move to the new one.
Each time it happens to me, I hope (no, I pray) that I won't have to grab the new one. But in my knowing place I know that I must totally release my grasp on my old bar, and for some moment in time hurtle across space before I can grab onto the new bar. Each time I am filled with terror. It doesn't matter that in all my previous hurtles across the void of unknowing, I have always made it. Each time I am afraid I will miss, that I will be crushed on the unseen rocks in the bottomless chasm between the bars.
But I do it anyway. Perhaps this is the essence of what the mystics call the faith experience. No guarantees, no net, no insurance policy, but you do it anyway because somehow, to keep hanging onto that old bar is no longer on the list of alternatives. And so for an eternity that can last a microsecond or a thousand lifetimes, I soar across the dark void of "the past is gone, the future is not yet here." It's called transition. I have come to believe that it is the only place that real change occurs. I mean real change, not the pseudo- change that only lasts until the next time my old buttons get punched.
I have noticed that, in our culture, this transition zone is looked upon as a "no-thing", a no-place between places. Sure the old trapeze-bar was real, and that new one coming towards me, I hope that's real too.
But the void in between?
That's just a scary, confusing, disorienting "nowhere" that must be gotten through as fast and as unconsciously as possible. What a waste! I have a sneaking suspicion that the transition zone is the only real thing, and the bars are illusions we dream up to avoid where the real change, the real growth occurs for us. Whether or not my hunch is true, it remains that the transition zones in our lives are incredibly rich places. They should be honored, even savored. Yes, with all the pain and fear and feelings of being out-of-control that can (but not necessarily) accompany transitions, they are still the most alive, most growth-filled, passionate, expansive moments in our lives.
And so, transformation of fear may have nothing to do with making fear go away, but rather with giving ourselves permission to "hang-out" in the transition between trapeze bars. Transforming our need to grab that new bar, any bar, is allowing ourselves to dwell in the only place where change really happens. It can be terrifying. It can also be enlightening, in the true sense of the word. Hurtling through the void, we just may learn how to fly.
Recently I attended a retreat and this poem by Portia Nelson was shared. It has stuck with me so I thought I would share it with you.
Autobiography in Five Short Chapters
Chapter One
I walk down the street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I fall in.
I am lost...I am helpless.
It isn’t my fault.
It takes me forever to find a way out.
Chapter Two
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I pretend I don’t see it.
I fall in again.
I can’t believe I am in this same place.
But, it isn’t my fault.
It still takes a long time to get out.
Chapter Three
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk
I see it is there.
I still fall in...it’s habit...but,
my eyes are open.
I know where I am.
It is my fault.
I get out immediately.
Chapter Four
I walk down the same street
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk
I walk around it.
Chapter Five
I walk down another street.
03/08/2016
Climber or Connector?
I was having dinner with my brother and his kids last night. They are all in their twenties and had a lot to say about their jobs. They were sharing stories of the kind of leadership they have been experiencing in the early stages of their career.
Their stories were nothing new to me, tales of corporate climbers solely focused on reaching the summit, failing to see the destruction they leave behind.
These leaders have not yet realized that by maintaining an abundance mind-set and sharing with others, they will climb in reputation.
When you really listen to the needs of this generation, they are looking for wise leadership that is respectful, develops trust, identifies vision and acts with courage.
“People do not care how much you know until they know you care.”
From the “Leadership Handbook” by John C Maxwell
Which kind of leader are you?
Climbers think vertical – connectors think horizontal
Climbers are well aware of who is behind them on the organizational chart and how they compare. Connectors are focused on moving over to where the other people are.
Climbers focus on positions- connectors focus on relationship
Unlike climbers who desire to climb the ladder, relational people are focused on building bridges.
Climbers value competition – connectors value cooperation
Climbers often get caught up in trying to win at all costs. Connectors are more interested in winning together.
Climbers seek power – connectors seek partnership
Anything you can do on your own pales in significance to the things you can do with a team of people. The way to create high- powered teams is to form partnerships, which is what connectors do.
Climbers build their image – connectors build consensus
Since the perception of their performance dictates the next promotion, climbers are concerned with their image. Connectors are more concerned with getting everyone on the same page so they can work together and achieve great things.
Climbers want to stand apart- connectors want to stand together
Climbers tend to want to create separation so they can distinguish themselves from the others. Connectors find ways to get closer to people so they can stand together.
Maxwell describes the leadership transformation from climber to connector in this way:
“I want to win…
I want to win and you can too…
I want to win with you…
I want you to win and I’ll win too”
So when you catch yourself looking up, stop and look around. Because how I get there may not be as important as how we get there.
The Kelmore Group - Executive Coaching - Conflict Resolution - Leadership Development
02/18/2016
Here is a great TED talk on 10 ways to have a better conversation. I especially like the quote " A good conversation is like a mini skirt; short enough to retain interest, but long enough to cover the subject. http://www.ted.com/talks/celeste_headlee_10_ways_to_have_a_better_conversation
10 ways to have a better conversation When your job hinges on how well you talk to people, you learn a lot about how to have conversations -- and that most of us don't converse very well. Celeste Headlee has worked as a radio host for decades, and she knows the ingredients of a great conversation: Honesty, brevity, clarity and a healthy…
01/14/2016
This is the most amazing story of appreciation https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SwKyauE_l-k
The Thank You Project - A Mother Finds The People Who Saved Her Son's Life Ten years after a tragic car accident, Kellie wants to find the heroes that saved her son’s life and thank them. To learn more about Kellie's story and her m...
12/12/2015
A Case of Missing Identity
One question I ask my clients is "What are your leadership aspirations?"
When I recently asked a client this question, he gave me a list of things he felt were important as a leader: revenue growth, increased productivity, and various other metrics. He rattled his answer off as if his ability to succeed was directly tied to his ability to regurgitate it. It became clear to me that this was his idea of a vision and that was what he was “selling” his people.
As clear as he was on his metrics, he had done nothing to solve the real mystery of who he was to his people. What they shared with me were comments like: “I don’t really know him... I’m not sure if this guy has my back... I don’t really trust him.”
This feedback was devastating to my client who believed he was living his life with integrity and honesty. He was a good guy, why didn’t they see that?
What they did see was the company guy with stats. No wonder he was having a difficult time getting his people to trust him and perform with heart.
During our time together he learned that in order to come across as the leader he knew he was, he would have to dig deep and develop more self- awareness. If he was to build trust with his people he would have to change direction.
As Marshal Goldsmith said “What got you here won’t get you there.”
This was my client’s time to realize that he needed to spend time reflecting on himself in order to show up differently. This can be a difficult transition for many leaders that have spent their entire careers focused on ex*****on and output.
In our sessions we focused on the following four key themes:
1. Know why you are the way you are. What life experiences have shaped you? How can you communicate this to your people so they understand why certain things are important to you?
2. Lead with your values. If honesty and integrity are your values, how are they showing up in your leadership? Allow your values to shape your leadership.
3. Clarify your purpose. Live your purpose with courage and inspire your people to do the same. This will help provide focus when life gets full of clutter.
4. Dream of the possibilities and create a vision that inspires and unites your entire team. Most of your people will not be inspired by metrics so don’t use them as a vision. They want to believe in a future of possibilities even if they seem out of reach. Spend more time figuring out what the dream is and paint a picture for your people. As Wayne Dyer so nicely said “ You’ll see it when you believe it.”
Ultimately my client did reach his goals. What’s interesting is that he surpassed all of the metrics once he stopped using them as his aspirations.