Leila BCBA

If your child only follows the first half of a direction, the direction is probably the problem, not the listening.

"Go get your shoes, put them by the door, and grab your backpack" is three separate steps stacked into one sentence. For a lot of young children, that is simply too much to hold onto at once.

One clear step at a time, given after the last one is finished, usually gets you further than repeating the whole list louder.

It is not defiance. It is working memory catching up to your expectations.

DM "STEPS" if you want help breaking down your family's daily routines.
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If potty training regressed out of nowhere, here is what I look at first before assuming it's a setback.

A new sibling. A move. Starting daycare. Even a cold or constipation can quietly undo weeks of progress. Regression almost always has a trigger, even when it isn't obvious right away.

Instead of adding pressure or going back to diapers as a punishment, it usually helps to lower the stakes, rebuild the routine gently, and look for what changed recently in your child's world.

Progress that dips is still progress. It is not gone, it is just paused.

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Dropping the nap is not a single day - it is a season, and most families go through it messier than they expect.

One day your child sleeps like clockwork. The next, naptime turns into an hour of talking to the wall, and bedtime gets harder because they are overtired.

This transition usually needs a quiet "rest time" bridge instead of jumping straight from nap to no-nap - same room, same calm activity, just without the expectation of sleep.

It is not regression. It is development, and it takes some patience to get through.

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If getting buckled in turns into an arched back and a full protest, you are not alone, and there is a simple way through it.

The car seat is a small space with a big demand: stop moving, stay still, give up control. For a lot of young kids, that is a genuinely hard ask, especially if they are already tired or rushed.

What tends to help is a consistent "first this, then that" routine at the car, a tiny job they control (like pressing the buckle click), and calm, minimal talking during the actual buckle moment.

Struggles like this usually soften with structure, not more pressure.

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When a behavior feels confusing, three questions bring it back into focus.

Why now? What changed right before this moment - a transition, a demand, a sensory shift?

Why this behavior? What is it getting your child, or helping them avoid?

Why not another way? Does your child have a better option available to them yet, or are they using the only tool they have?

These three whys will not solve everything overnight, but they turn "random" behavior into a pattern you can actually work with.

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If drop-off ends in tears every morning, you are not doing something wrong — your child is telling you something big is hard for them right now.

So many parents replay that image in the car. The crying face at the door. The guilt that follows you into work. The wondering if it will ever get easier.

Separation anxiety is developmentally normal, and it is also genuinely hard to sit with. A short, consistent goodbye routine (not a longer one) usually helps more than lingering does.

You are not abandoning them. You are teaching them that goodbyes are safe and hellos always come back.

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Turning off the tablet should not feel like defusing a bomb every single time.

If your child screams, negotiates, or falls apart the second the screen goes dark, it is not because they are spoiled or manipulative. It is because the transition off a highly engaging activity is genuinely one of the hardest asks of the day.

The fix is rarely "take it away faster." It is usually a warning system, a predictable next step, and a landing activity that feels almost as good as the screen.

When the transition has structure, the meltdown has less to grab onto.

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If waiting rooms turn into a countdown to a meltdown, this simple 3-step plan can help.

Waiting is one of the hardest skills to ask of a young child — there is nothing to do, nothing changes, and time feels endless.

Try this:
Prepare - tell them what to expect and roughly how long before you arrive.
Occupy - bring one small, low-mess activity just for waiting.
Praise - notice calm waiting out loud, even for 30 seconds at a time.

Waiting is a skill like any other. It gets built in small reps, not all at once.

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As a BCBA, one of the calls I get most often is right before an appointment.

One parent came to me terrified of the next visit. Her son had bolted from the room twice.

We didn't start with the appointment. We started with a smaller question: What part of this feels unpredictable to him?

Turns out it was the waiting, the paper on the table, and not knowing what would happen next.

Once we built a simple visual preview and a practice run at home, the next visit looked completely different. Still nervous, but no bolting. No meltdown in the waiting room.

Small preparation. Big shift. Looking for more parent-friendly behavior tips?

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