01/18/2022
In our experience, most people think good listening comes down to doing three things:
- Not talking when others are speaking
- Letting others know you’re listening through facial expressions and verbal sounds (“Mmm-hmm”)
- Being able to repeat what others have said, practically word-for-word
The research analyzed data describing the behaviour of 3,492 participants in a development program designed to help managers become better coaches. As part of this program, their coaching skills were assessed by others in 360-degree assessments.
Researchers identified those perceived as the most effective listeners (the top 5%). Then compared the best listeners to the average of all other people in the data set and identified the 20 items showing the most significant difference.
Some surprising conclusions researchers found, along with some qualities expected to hear. They grouped them into four main pillars:
1) Good listening is much more than being silent while the other person talks.
2) Good listening includes interactions that build a person’s self-esteem.
3) Good listening was seen as a cooperative conversation.
4) Good listeners tended to make suggestions.
Of course, there are different levels of listening. Not every conversation requires the highest listening levels, but many conversations would benefit from greater focus and listening skills.
Consider which level of listening you’d like to aim for in the graphic below.
Finally, we hope all will see that the highest and best form of listening comes in playing the same role for the other person that a trampoline plays for a child. It gives energy, acceleration, height and amplification. These are the hallmarks of great listening.
