02/15/2025
Happy Valentine’s Day, Wait NO!
It never fails to strike me how some people are not only so disconnected from their emotions but also try to disconnect others from theirs as well.
Yesterday, I told a friend “Happy Valentine’s Day!” only for her to smile sarcastically, the same way someone would smirk at a child for saying something silly. To make things worse, she even embarrassed me in a common WhatsApp group when I shared a joke, I found online about how that now that Valentine’s Day is over, we can go back to hating one another again, by leaving a comment that it seemed like I was the only one who cares about Valentine’s Day in the group.
It made me feel sad how some people are so stuck in their own ways and fail to expand themselves beyond the limits that society drew for them, programming them that Valentine’s is only about romantic love.
Regardless of the Corporate side of Valentine’s Day, and them using it to sell more and make more money, there’s also the Patriarchal side of it that programmed us, especially women that it’s not ‘okay’ to express our emotions and show the soft side in us. As if it is something to be ashamed of.
I do celebrate Valentine’s Day with my children every year. I usually buy each of them something as simple as a flower or maybe chocolate. Any simple thing that makes them feel special on that day. How dare I, right? How dare I feel my feelings or express my emotions?
For some cultures more than others, expressing your emotions and showing the soft side of you is shameful. You should hide it.The more entrenched the patriarchy in the society is, the more anything related to expressing your emotions or being connected to them is frowned upon or looked upon as silly or weak or something that you should stop doing or grow out of as you grew out of playing some silly childhood games. You know why? Because emotions are more connected to being feminine, and how dare you show or express the feminine side of you in the presence of Patriarchy? How dare you be YOU?
Patriarchy is built upon separation, disconnection, including being disconnected from oneself, from your emotions, from your intuition, from who you really are.
What makes things worse is when women become advocates for patriarchy. They become so disconnected from themselves that they not only cease expressing their own emotions but also condemn, belittle, and suppress others who do express theirs.
It is sad and frustrating that some people just copy paste whatever thoughts, beliefs, or emotions that were passed on to them from their predecessors and never stop to think or even question whether they are valid, acceptable or neither.
Valentine’s Day is not about romantic love! It’s about love in all its forms. Love to your family, your friends, and your children counts as a high form of love as well.
Whether you celebrate Valentine’s Day or not, it’s definitely your choice, but it’s NOT your choice to make people feel that they are being childish or that they’re begging for love or that they are in the wrong for celebrating it.
And by the way, Happy Valentine’s Day!
