FERN-Family Education Resource Network

Always protect the relationship...even when saying 'no' 💘

𝗖𝗼𝗻𝗻𝗲𝗰𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻 𝗱𝗼𝗲𝘀𝗻'𝘁 𝗮𝗹𝘄𝗮𝘆𝘀 𝗺𝗲𝗮𝗻 "𝗬𝗲𝘀".
Sometimes the most supportive response is a boundary, a limit, or a “not right now.” What matters is how we stay connected through that moment.

When a child feels heard, understood, and supported (even when they don’t get the answer they hoped for), we can protect the relationship while helping them navigate disappointment, frustration, and other big emotions.

Six years after the book’s release, Dr.'s Shanker and Hopkins revisited every chapter to bring fresh insights, updated science, and new priorities. It's all about breaking that stress cycle. Seeing "bad" behavior as stress in disguise rather than defiance. This approach truly flips the script by moving us away from punitive measures and toward a genuine focus on children's wellness. By reframing "bad" behavior as stress in disguise, we can prioritize support and co-regulation over reactive discipline. It’s a powerful shift that creates a much calmer, more compassionate environment for our children and youth to thrive. By looking at what’s really going on under the surface, we can build a much calmer, more supportive space for everyone 💙

Interested - sign up directly or be in touch if you would like to join a group study around this book.

Breaking The Stress Cycle A self-paced,12 module parenting course that makes a great companion to Dr. Shanker's 2016 book: 'Self-Reg'

Next youth social will be online tomorrow July 15th, from 5-6pm on Zoom. We're so excited to hear what everyone has been up to during the summer! The links to join can be found in our bio and will be emailed to you. Hope to see everyone there!

On behalf of your friends at FERN, we wanted to wish you all a Happy 🇨🇦Canada🇨🇦 Day! Hope everyone enjoys their day and hope to see you all soon!

Hey friends,

Just wanted to remind everyone that our first summer youth social will be in person at FERN on Wed. Jun. 24th at 5-6:30pm. Please RSVP if you haven't yet. Also, if you have any ideas about what we can do at our next socials, (dinner ideas, walks to the park, meeting 1 time a month, etc.) feel free to share those ideas by messaging our Instagram page. Hope to see everyone tomorrow!

Listen to Stuart and Susan's brief discussion ✨💙✨

The word 'cope' carries so much for us as parents, educators and therapists. We often say that children need to learn to cope with frustration, disappointment, anxiety, transitions, or stress.

But what if the child is already coping? What if the tears, the anger, the withdrawal, the refusal are signs of a nervous system working overtime?

Self-Reg reminds us that before we ask a child to cope better, we need to understand what they are coping with.

Sometimes children don't need more strategies. Sometimes they need less stress, more connection, and adults who become curious before becoming corrective.

"What is this child already carrying?" That question changes everything.

Self-Reg Misconception 11: "We can’t reduce Self-Reg stressors, they're simply part of life." Stuart Shanker says this is partly true. Some of the normal stresse...

A good reminder from The MEHRIT Centre, Ltd. as we start our week 🥰

Take a minute to check in. 🌿 Co-regulation and your relationships can help you with your steps. Don't do it alone - and chat in your community.

Hey friends! Come join us for our next youth social tomorrrow, Wed. Jun. 10th at 5pm on Zoom. Can't wait to connect with all of you, as well as play another round of Jeopardy! Let us know if you have any ideas, and hope to see you there! Links to join can be found in your email and in our bio.