02/11/2026
When your child is upset, does your body react before your brain can catch up?
Do you feel an emotional need to have the behaviour stop 🛑 immediately?
Do you feel like there is a full body reaction from you? Tight jaw, clenching in your chest?
Before your brain can kick in, your body might be telling you that what is happening with your child is a fire alarm ⏰ fire 🔥- an emergency. What is happening is that you have absorbed what is going on with your child and your body needs it to stop.
Often you will feel deeply triggered by anxiety then shame, then explosive anger.
It’s not your fault.
It is nothing more than a nervous system that learned early in life that big feelings are something alarming.
When you feel this way you might:
🌟Give in to what your child is demanding for a quiet life
🌟Drop any boundary you have set in the past because you want it to stop
🌟Set boundaries with consequences that have nothing to do with the behaviour
🌟Proclaim “I’m done. I don’t know what to do. I don’t care. I am over it.”
What your child feels is that:
💥Their feelings are a five alarm fire
💥That they can topple your feelings
💥That you are not in control
Time and time again if this happens feelings become even scarier for you and your child.
This means your child will bring bigger behaviours and you will have bigger reactions.
What we do in Calmer Families is help you to observe big feelings and separate your child’s from yours.
We help you to understand that there is nothing wrong with you- your nervous system needs a reboot.
What will result is:
💕Calmness from within you
💕Your child will see that you are firm,unwavering, clear and kind
💕Your child’s nervous system will develop in a healthy, connected relationship with you
You will become not only the bigger nervous system in the room, you will be the light house in the storm of your child’s big feelings (as I have stated for the last 16 years in Calm Mum).
We open registration for Calmer Families Friday.
Stay tuned. 💕