05/14/2026
As a leader who creates communities of belonging, harm and hurt to will happen to you. It shows up in many forms.
You can be excluded from decisions you helped shape. You can be pushed out of a role you were fully qualified for.
You can be dismissed, minimized, or harmed by people who do not understand your value.
And sometimes the harm comes from personal relationships that spill into your wellbeing.
When harm happens, the emotional instinct to seek revenge can be real. You may want to expose the person who undermined you.
You may want to correct the narrative publicly. You may want to make the organization feel the consequences of its choices. You may even want to confront the person who hurt you in your personal life.
These responses are human. They are valid. They come from the desire to validate your the harm. And you have the right to do this. You want to restore the balance.
However, revenge does not restore.
Revenge is emotionally driven. It is reactive and volatile and comes from the place of being wounded instead of a place of wisdom.
Revenge keeps you tied to the harm and tied to the people who caused it. It drains your clarity, your peace and your leadership.
Restoration is different.
Restoration is strategic.
Restoration is proactive.
Restoration has a plan.
Restoration asks: What do I need to do to reclaim my dignity, my clarity, and my future?
Restoration is not passive.
It is not about pretending the harm did not happen. It is not about minimizing your experience. Restoration is strategic.
Restoration also does not block reconciliation.
If you choose reconciliation, that is your decision. Reconciliation simply means you want to rebuild a relationship or re‑enter a space with new terms, new boundaries, and new clarity.
But reconciliation is optional.
Restoration is essential.
Restoration brings you back to yourself. It brings you back to your purpose. It brings you back to your light.
It brings you back to why you got into your leadership role.
It brings you back to creating communities of belonging in an aligned way.
So, choose restoration over revenge.
Because staying in your light is the sweetest revenge.
