Andre Lam

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Edmonton, AB
Andre Lam

Relationships + Men's Work ❤️‍🔥💪

Empowering men to communicate consciously so they can strengthen their relationships without therapy.

FREE Conflict to Connection Email Course 👇
www.achievingliberty.com/the5dayrelationshipreset I believe if every man and woman took responsibility for their thoughts, feelings, actions and outcomes, we would have Heaven on Earth right now. I live this out by becoming a life-long learner, teaching Mental Fitness, Conscious Communication and guiding transformational men's groups.

10/05/2026

Not everything that begins with “I feel…” is actually a feeling.

Sometimes it’s a feeling.

And sometimes it’s a story disguised as a feeling.

A feeling arises in my body.
And it can often be named in a word.

Embarrassed.
Hurt.
Disconnected.

A story sounds different.

“I feel disrespected right now.”
“I feel like you don’t have my back.”
“I feel that I’m not good enough for you.”

Those are real thoughts.
And they point to something vulnerable underneath.

But they’re not feelings.

I saw this in myself when my beloved responded in a way I experienced as interrupting and correcting me in front of others.

I could have said:
“I feel disrespected.”
“Hey, I feel like you don’t have my back right now.”
“This is why I feel that I’m not good enough for you.”

And those are not feelings.

Those are stories my mind made up.

If I slow down and express what’s actually happening in me, it sounds more like:

“When you interrupted me in front of others and said, ‘Well, no…’, I felt embarrassed, hurt, and disconnected.”

That’s a different conversation.

One invites understanding.
The other often invites defensiveness.

One tells you what’s alive in me.
The other tells you the story I’m making up about you.

Have you ever noticed yourself saying “I feel…” when what came next was actually a story?

Learning to separate feelings from the meanings our mind makes takes practice.

If you’d like support in practicing that, our next 6-Week Conscious Communication Level 1 Program begins on Tuesday, October 27.

And for those ready to go further, the next 9-Week Conscious Communication Level 2 Program begins on Thursday, February 11, 2027.

Send me a message if you’d like the details.

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09/28/2026

A lot of disconnection begins when we confuse what happened with the meaning we made of it.

I call this the difference between living in observation and living in story.

Living in observation says: “When I came into the kitchen, the dishes from breakfast were still in the sink.”
Living in story says: “You expect me to clean up after you.”

Living in observation says: “You looked at your phone several times while I was talking.”
Living in story says: “You don’t care about what I’m saying.”

One stays close to the facts.
The other adds judgment.

One creates more openness.
The other often creates defensiveness.

And that difference matters.

Because the moment I stop describing what I actually saw or heard, and start speaking from the story I made up about it, connection gets harder.

Why? Stories often carry blame, judgment, or accusation, and that makes it harder for the other person to stay open.

Living in observation asks me to slow down and ask: What did I actually see or hear, before my mind added meaning to it?

Observation names what I experience through my senses.
Story adds the meaning my mind makes of it.

One creates clarity.
The other often creates distance.

Have you ever noticed how quickly the mind moves from what happened to what it thinks it means?

Because story is the default language of the mind.

So, learning to slow down, notice what we actually saw or heard, and speak from there is like learning a new language.

And that takes practice.

If you’d like to practice with us, our next 6-Week Conscious Communication Level 1 Program begins Tuesday, October 27.

And for those continuing deeper, our next 9-Week Conscious Communication Level 2 Program begins Thursday, October 1.

If you’d like to learn more, send me a message.

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09/22/2026

Not everything that sounds caring is empathy.

Sometimes it’s sympathy.
Sometimes it’s fixing.
Sometimes it’s our discomfort with being with another person’s pain.

Empathy wants to know what is alive in the other person.

It’s about being curious.
Being present.
And not rushing to solve.

A friend shared with me how he was doing with the separation from his ex-wife.

He kept blaming himself.
“I should have known.”
“What’s wrong with me?”

I could have said,
“Yeah, that sucks.”
“It’s going to be okay.”
“Here’s what you should do...”

But neither would have really met him.

So I slowed down.

I named what I imagined he might be feeling.

Shock.
Sadness.
Shame.
The struggle to forgive himself.

And then he let out a sigh, his shoulders dropped, and he met my eyes and nodded.

At that moment, it felt like we truly met each other.

It reminded me:

Whose experience is at the center here?

Sympathy centers what gets stirred in you.
Empathy centers what is alive in them.

One responds from your experience of their pain.
The other helps their pain feel met.

Have you ever noticed the difference between being comforted, being fixed, and being truly met?

This is the heart of the work we do: learning how to stay present with another person’s experience without rushing to fix, reassure, or solve.

If you’d like support in growing that capacity, our next 6-Week Conscious Communication Level 1 Program begins Tuesday, October 27.

And for graduates of Level 1, the next 9-Week Conscious Communication Level 2 Program begins Thursday, October 1.

If you’re curious, send me a message.

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09/14/2026

What many people call honesty is often just uncontained reactivity.

There is a difference between Raw Honesty and Relational Honesty.

Raw Honesty wants relief.
It wants to vent.
It wants to get the point across.

Relational Honesty wants something deeper…
It wants truth and connection.
It wants to show up in a way that builds trust.

I saw this in a charged group conversation around masculinity, equality and power.

The room got tight.
People were reacting.
Something in me felt deeply troubled.

So I spoke.

Not to blame.
Not to discharge.
But to name what I was honestly seeing and feeling.

I shared that I was pained to see us drifting from our values of respect, compassion, and inclusion. I shared that if I were in his place, I would feel guarded and disconnected.

And the whole room shifted.

Defenses softened.
Hearts opened.
The conversation deepened.

That moment reminded me:

Raw Honesty may express a truth, but Relational Honesty helps us hear each other’s truth.

One vents. The other connects.
One blames. The other takes responsibility.
One creates rupture. The other makes repair and transformation more possible.

Have you ever noticed the difference between honesty that relieves you and honesty that builds trust?

If you feel called to grow your capacity for Relational Honesty — to speak what is true in a way that builds trust, deepens understanding, and makes connection more possible — we’d love to support you.

Our upcoming 6-Week Conscious Communication Level 1 Program beginning tomorrow, September 15 is already full.

The next Level 1 begins Tuesday, October 27.

And for those who have already completed Level 1, our next 9-Week Conscious Communication Level 2 Program begins Thursday, October 1.

If you’d like to know more, just send me a message.

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09/07/2026

Conscious Communication can become its own form of control.

A lot of people learn it and start speaking in a way that is technically correct…

…but nobody feels more connected to them.

Why?

Because people can feel the difference between being done to and being connected to.

Doing Conscious Communication is often the first step.

It means learning the mechanics, the words, the process.

And that matters.

But when the energy underneath it is still trying to control the outcome, people can feel it.

It may sound “right,” but not feel real.

That’s when Conscious Communication turns into manipulation.

I saw this with my beloved.

I once tried using the mechanics of Conscious Communication to share my concerns about some advice she’d been given.

I was trying to be honest and skillful about what was going on for me.

She got irritated.

Looking back, I can see why.

Even though I was using the language of connection, I was still trying to get somewhere.
I wanted her to see what I was seeing
I wanted her agreement.

That is what I mean by doing Conscious Communication.

Embodying Conscious Communication asks something much deeper.

It asks me to drop my agenda before I speak.
To turn inward first.
To feel the worry, the restlessness, the helplessness underneath my push for understanding.
To reconnect with myself before trying to reconnect with the other.

Because my beloved’s agreement is not the need.
It is only the strategy.

Underneath it, I am longing for contribution, trust, ease, connection, even reassurance that I am a good partner.

When I can meet myself there, something softens.

Then I am no longer coming to her with a method.
I’m no longer coming to her with a solution.
I’m coming to her as a human being.

Less rehearsed.
Less controlling.
More honest.
More curious.
More open.

And that is where real influence begins.

When there is no push to control, trust can grow.
When there is no performance of empathy, connection becomes possible.

Doing Conscious Communication is learning the skill.
Embodying it is living the consciousness.

One is about trying to do it correctly.
The other is about embodying the intention to connect.

And that journey is ongoing.

Have you ever noticed yourself using the language of connection while still trying to control the outcome?

If you feel called into this deeper journey of embodying Conscious Communication, we’d love to welcome you.

Our upcoming 6-Week Conscious Communication Level 1 Program starting Tuesday, September 15 is already full.

The next Level 1 begins Tuesday, October 27.

And for those who have already completed Level 1, our next 9-Week Conscious Communication Level 2 Program begins Thursday, October 1.

If you’d like to join us, send me a message and I’ll share the details.

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07/07/2026

Next Monday night I'm facilitating an in-person men's circle in Edmonton.

Monday, July 13 | 6:30–8:00 PM Hearth Cowork & Cowellness

This is a structured space for men who want more clarity, self-awareness, and honest connection — not just talk, but real practice.

No prior experience needed. Just a genuine willingness to show up.

Sign up link in the comments.

And if this isn't for you right now, think of one man in your life — a friend, brother, nephew, uncle, father — who you think would get a lot out of this.

Forward this to him.

Sometimes the most powerful thing you can do for someone is point them in the right direction.

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06/11/2026

If I just thought about it long enough, I’d find the answer.

If I analyzed it enough, and knew every detail, I’d know what to do.

And to think it through, I probably would have found answers.

Just not the answers to my core problems.

Because my mind is already full of what it thinks it knows.

But my body holds the felt sense of what’s true for me.

So sometimes, all I need to do is ask my body.

Where do I feel tight? Where do I feel at ease?
Where do I pull back? Where do I lean in?
Where do I shut down? Where do I open up?

Your body isn’t getting in the way.
It’s holding information your mind can’t think its way into.

So when you tune into your core experience, instead of overriding it, explaining it away, or rushing past it, something begins to shift…

Because presence is inherently alchemical.

Presence with yourself.
Presence with another.

When you stay present with your core experience, safety, trust, choice and connection begin to return.

This is how your power gets restored.

And from that place, you make better decisions informed by full-body wisdom.

That’s part of the journey we invite people into through Relational Wisdom School.

🤔 What do you notice when you ask your body?

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06/04/2026

I’ve been working on myself for a decade…

And I still get triggered.
I still judge.
I still react.

That doesn’t mean the work isn’t working.

It just means I’m more aware now — more aware of the old path, and more able to choose a new one.

For me, healing and growth have been less about arriving, and more about peeling back another layer of the onion.

Again.
And again.
And again.

So the invitation is not perfection.

The invitation is to practice.

Not, “Have I finally become complete?”
But, “Am I willing to keep becoming honest?”

Am I willing to keep discovering myself?
Keep softening?
Keep maturing?

This journey is about remembering your inherent value.

It’s also about discovering the value you bring to the world.

Both matter.

That’s the journey we invite people into through Relational Wisdom School.

Attuning to yourself.
Attuning to others.
Attuning to the world around you.

Not as a finish line.

As a way of living.

🤔 Where are you being invited to stay in the practice instead of rushing to arrive?

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06/01/2026

This Sat, Jun 6, 2026 from 1-3 pm, I will be hosting our monthly men's gathering at my space in the Highlands area in Edmonton.

What this entails is men coming together intentionally to work with physical, mental, and emotional tools while sharpening and supporting each other. Iron sharpens iron, man sharpens man.

Send me a DM for details.

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05/30/2026

Summer and I would love to invite you to join us at Vibestown Festival, happening July 9–12, 2026 near Edson, AB.

It’s a beautiful gathering of music, workshops, and performances — a space where adults can rediscover the joy of play, connection, and self-expression in a way that’s both responsible and respectful.

We’re also excited to be facilitating a workshop called Welcome to the Neighborhood on Friday, July 10 from 11:00–11:50 am

So what’s it about?

Have you ever noticed how easy it is to arrive at an event open to connection… and then still end up spending most of your time with the people you already know?

This playful workshop is designed to help break down those invisible walls through conscious communication exercises, group activities, and paired conversations. You’ll get a chance to discover who’s in your corner of town — without awkward small talk, and without going deeper than feels right.

Come solo, come with friends, and leave knowing more neighbors than you arrived with.

No experience needed — just curiosity and an open heart.

Vibestown link in the comments below.

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Address

Edmonton, AB

Telephone

+17809909619

Website

https://www.achievingliberty.com/the5dayrelationshipreset, https://calendly.com/achievingliberty/alchemy, https://www.ac

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