Living On Purpose with Sandi

Why I LOP
The reason I go on and on about practicing LOP is because it saved my life. I know that sounds incredibly dramatic, but that is how it feels. Forty some years ago I felt I was suffocating to death because, as I now understand it, I had suppressed who I really was so deeply I couldn't breath. I now see how if we sup-press who we really are (WWRA) long enough, we become de-pressed.

For many years I hid this whole story because it seemed that what was real for me was not believable for anyone else. At first I didn't even think it was real because I was believing others more than me. Then I started seeing pieces of a puzzle that felt real for me. I felt desires that I knew were truly mine, that I had kept hidden away. I saw pieces of who I really was. But I was still too worried people would just brush it off as more of that stuff from that girl who had "problems".

After a lot of time, a lot of questions, a lot of learning, a lot of practice, and a lot of baby steps in trusting ME, I find myself spending more and more time on this thing I call the upward spiral. And for anyone who experiences deep downward spirals I wish I could just wrap you up in a dosage of the upward spiral so that you too could know what is possible, however, I know that's not the way it works, and it would rob you of the exact thing you are looking for -- WYRA. So instead, here I stand, doing my best to remember WIRA, so that when I am with you I can see WYRA, which I hope will help you believe in WYRA, and then when you are with others you will be able to see WTRA . . . and so on.

Practicing the upward spiral is full of ups and downs, questions and answers, frustrations and "Ahhas." I speak of it not because I have it all figured out, but instead so that these kinds of conversations can be more common. I know we have all had snippets of the beauty that is possible, but at times they can be challenging to hang on to. And even though this is completely an inside job, I know it is easier to believe in the upward spiral when there are those outside of us that believe too.

LOP, because nothing less will do.

Go to https://lopwithsandi.blogspot.com/ to read more about LOP and to re-enter your email address (the old service expired) if you are interested in receiving articles as they are posted.

Hallelujah from Leonard Cohan

I recently watched the biography of Leonard Cohen's song "Hallelujah". There were many things in it I found interesting like: how many people seem to connect with the song; that it took Leonard six years to write it; that there are probably over 100 different verses for it in his notebooks; and how the song took on a life of it's own, hence the version you are probably most familiar with is not the one Leonard performed, but the one done by John Cale (think Shrek).

But perhaps what was most interesting, for me, was what I came to understand is the meaning of it. Although there has always been a somewhat dark/somber tone to it for me (especially Leonard's version), what I heard it saying is no matter how bad things get, no matter how hard things may seem, there is always a Hallelujah.
No matter what, there is always an upward spiral.

LOP. Hallelujah!
Thank you for being you Leonard.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LQK4YfiPj1Q
Rufus Wainwright Live at the Fillmore
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tcOQSk_cMO0
k.d. lang at 2010 Vancouver Olympics (for Bear)

k.d. lang performs Hallelujah - Vancouver 2010 Olympics Opening Ceremony | Music Monday 📲 Subscribe to : http://oly.ch/Subscribe In this week's Music Monday, we watch the emotional performance of Leonard Cohen's Hallelujah by Canadian...

"I Can See Clearly Now" -- Johnny Nash https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FscIgtDJFXg
Whether literally or figuratively I love this reminder.

(You can go to https://lopwithsandi.blogspot.com/ for more LOP articles.)

Johnny Nash - I Can See Clearly Now Notice: Johnny Nash made his transition into the Light on October 6, 2020. He died peacefully of natural causes in his home surrounded by close family in Hou...

Yesses!
LOP, or living on the upward spiral, is recognizing and having faith in the momentum of my yesses. These are not the yesses we may automatically think of, and have become accustomed to, that feel more like obligations, 'have-tos', or 'shoulds'. The yesses I am referring to are honest, exciting, fun, life-giving, tickling, joyous, and sometimes what might appear to be silly or illogical inspirations that fill our hearts. They are the yesses that are perfect for right now in this moment.

LOP yesses are what we are inspired to from the upward spiral, not the downward spiral. So, the first step is to get on the upward spiral. If I want to confirm that a yes is inspired from the upward spiral I can ask myself, "is the payoff for this yes in the future (chasing a condition) or in the now (pure joy of the yes)?"

Once I am on the upward spiral there are a million and one ways to practice yessing my way through my day. Just remember to take a second and ask yourself . . .
What's my yes right now?
What's my yes in this situation?
What's my yes to this question?
What's my yes on this menu?
What's my yes about where to park?
What's my yes about responding to this text or email?
What's my yes about where I live?
What's my yes about what I like to wear?
What's my yes about what I want to drive?
What's my yes just for the sake that it makes my heart sing?
What's the yes that I cannot not do?
What's my yes around this situation that has just shown up, that I now have new clarity, and a new more specific yes?
What's my yes for what I want to watch on T.V.?
What's my yes for who I associate with?
What's the best feeling yes in this instant?

As ideas of possible yesses start to pop into my mind (and I promise you that from the upward spiral there will be an untapped stream of them), I can use some questions as a kind of litmus test to distinguish between yesses that are being WIRA, and what might just be my habitual/routine yesses.
1. Am I wanting to do this to somehow justify myself/my worthiness?
2. Am I doing this because I am concerned about how someone else may view me?
3. Am I choosing this from a place of trying to push/force/control/be right about a certain outcome?
When my answer to any of these is yes I personally get suspicious of myself that this particular yes, at this particular time, has an ulterior motive other than being WIRA. Which just means taking a step back and ensuring I am solidly on the upward spiral.

LOP is recognizing and trusting my yesses on the upward spiral and seeing where WIRA is ready to take me.

Happy New Year! I wish you tons of fun following the yesses of 2022!

"Let's Go For a Soda"
Heard this the other day. Just thought it was a really great reminder to chill out. Wanna go for a soda?

Thanks Kim! Rock On! : )

Go for a Soda -- Kim Mitchell

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3oq-7PJ4wug

Might as well go for a soda
Nobody hurts and nobody cries
Might as well go for a soda
Nobody drowns and nobody dies

So we're in one of our blue moons
You wanna have it your way, I want it mine
All this debating going 'round in a blue moon
Makes me thirsty for love

Might as well go for a soda
Nobody hurts and nobody cries
(Might as well) Might as well go for a soda
Nobody drowns and nobody dies

Life seems to be a bomb inside of your head
Well the bomb in my head is love
All this debating going 'round in a blue moon
Makes me thirsty for love

Might as well go for a soda
Nobody hurts and nobody cries
(Nobody hurts, nobody cries)
Might as well go for a soda
Nobody drowns and nobody dies

Might as well go for a soda
It's better than slander, it's better than lies
Might as well go for a soda
Nobody hurts and nobody cries
Might as well go for a soda

Might as well go for a soda
Nobody hurts and nobody cries
Might as well go for a soda
Nobody drowns and nobody dies

Might as well go for a soda
It's better than slander, it's better than lies
Might as well go for a soda
(Might as well, oh yeah)

Might as well go for a soda
(Oh yeah, nobody hurts, nobody cries)
Might as well go for a soda
(Oh yeah, nobody drowns, nobody dies)
Might as well go for a soda
(It's better than slander, it's better than lies)
Might as well go for a soda

Source: Musixmatch
Songwriters: Mitchell Kim / Woods Paul Phillip
Go for Soda lyrics © Mark-cain Music Publishing, Ole Mark Cain Music Publishing, Anthem Mark Cain

Go For Soda Provided to YouTube by Universal Music GroupGo For Soda · Kim MitchellAkimbo Alogo℗ 1995 Alert Music Inc.Released on: 2004-01-01Producer: Kim MitchellAuto-ge...

Tuesday, 15 June 2021
"Under Pressure"
I know I go on and on about being on the upward spiral and I also know that sometimes that idea just feels too farfetched and way out there. So at times it is better to just aim for finding relief. The tripping point here can be how we interpret what 'relief' means. Relief is the release of the pressure from the heaviness of the downward spiral. From the words of the band Queen and David Bowie, "This is ourselves, under pressure." Many years after my depression I realized that when I put pressure on myself, that is to say I sup-press WIRA, I eventually and literally become de-pressed. So relief feels like the opening of the valve that is holding in the pressure.

We have a number of ways of trying to create relief, but many of them are not LOP. Most of them are more like hitting the pause button on the downward spiral and then just picking up again at the same place on the downward spiral. For example: we can drink to find relief; we blame to find relief; we can go on holidays and find some relief; we can go into micromanagement to temporarily create relief; we can avoid things and people to find relief; we can push through tough times to find relief; we can band together in groups to find relief; and we even sometimes choose to think less of ourselves to avoid conflict and find relief. None of these have a huge success rate at leading us to the upward spiral, because although we may have stopped adding to the pressure temporarily, we haven't really opened the valve to release the pressure. With that said, temporarily hitting the pause button on the downward spiral for a well needed break, can feel really good as well.

But you know what I am going to say don't you, LOP is more than just taking a break from the downward spiral (that's mediocrity), it's about being able to release the pressure enough that we begin to move towards the upward spiral. So how do I create a snippet of relief to get the ball rolling? Perhaps one of the easiest and most effective ways is to appreciate. Not a new concept. Many have written and spoken about it, but it may seem pretty airy fairy from where you stand at times -- so maybe we can tweak it a bit so it is more useful.

First, I am not meaning that you try and appreciate what you are worried or frustrated or overwhelmed about. I am not talking about only appreciating when our problems are solved and life is going smoothly. I am not talking about faking appreciation. I am not talking about thinking less of ourselves or beating ourselves up because we are not feeling appreciative. And, I am not talking about appreciating what others appreciate. I am meaning to truly find a thought . . . something . . . anything for which you have even a smidgeon of appreciation that can begin the relief. Start small or with simple things, with things you already have, with things that perhaps you take for granted, but when you spend a moment to focus on it you can see the value it has added to your life. And then use that to find something that creates a bit more relief and so on, and so on.

What you can honestly appreciate today will be unique to you and this moment, so the following is an example only. You are required to find your own appreciations to truly create relief. So, for today and right now, this is what I might say/write (remember, writing can be a good way to help you focus).

I appreciate that the solar system does what it does without any help from me and has done so long before I got here and will continue to do so long after I leave.

I appreciate that when my eyes opened this morning my heart was still pumping and I was still breathing. I appreciate I didn't worry about it and have to manage it all night and instead was able to get some sleep.

I appreciate my comfy bed, that water flows from my faucet when I turn it on, and that I have chairs with backs on them (can you tell I have recently returned from backpacking? LOL).

I appreciate that I get to have my morning granola and coffee. I appreciate that day after day I still look forward to and enjoy them both.

I appreciate that I have a body, and although it is not 'perfect', overall it serves me extremely well. I appreciate that there are so many more cells working really well than not well. I appreciate that they know what they are doing, and have been doing it my whole life.

I appreciate that all that I can do, or need to do today, is put one foot in front of the other. I appreciate that expecting anything more than that is ridiculous. I appreciate that I have places to go and things to do, but more importantly I appreciate I have a day of life to live.

I appreciate the sun that shines in my window and I appreciate the rain we have recently received too. I appreciate the balance and variety they create. I appreciate getting outside with the sun, and I appreciate staying inside and reading a book when it rains.

I appreciate the contrast from brown to green that spring provides, and that the trees are in full bloom. I appreciate hearing the singing of the birds, and I love it when I have an encounter with a coyote or dear or a woodpecker when I am out hiking.

I appreciate that I know what I do know, that I can do what I can do, and that I can love what I love, and that I have fond memories of so many of those things.

I appreciate that I have family and friends and things that I honestly enjoy. And I appreciate that I have found some things to appreciate, and that appreciating what is, is enough.

I am not saying those are going to be your words of appreciation to create relief, and I know that getting started can be the biggest step. But I also know with some deliberate focus there are things in your awareness you can find to appreciate and create some genuine, upward spiral producing relief. And I know with setting the intention of just finding a bit more relief, your day is going to feel better. And I know that this experience of feeling better has a momentum to it and that it will become apparent to you as you find small things to appreciate.

LOP is one moment of relief after another.

"Receiving vs. Figuring Out"
We can probably all relate to times in the day when we are at a decision point. Most are easy and habitual because we have been there before. But then sometimes there are those decisions that are difficult and more challenging because they are new. We catch ourselves being annoyed or impatient or worried trying to make a decision. It might even keep us up at night as we run through all the possible scenarios. We often turn to others because we become so muddled in our own heads. And I get that, I've been there many times myself. But what I have realized is none of that is LOP. A LOP decision, which comes from the upper spiral, feels like receiving an idea/answer, while making a decision from the downward spiral feels like working hard at trying to figure something out.

So, lets talk more specifics. A habitual decision, doing what we have always done before, is convenient and most likely easier. And honestly, numerous decisions in our day can stay in the habitual zone. But sometimes we are ready for a new decision, and when that time comes we may default to what we have always done before, even if it doesn't feel very good or isn't what we really want. We may choose to go with what we have always done before because at least it will be done/taken care of/out of our way. If a habitual decision is leaving you feeling flat and dissatisfied it is no longer to your benefit -- even if you are getting a short term pop of satisfaction from completing something.

Turning to others to help us make a decision can be helpful if they are on the upward spiral and we find it easy to get on the upward spiral when we are around them. However, when we involve others it can be easy to get dragged off in the bushes and make someone else's perspective more important than our own. Keeping the decision making process to ourselves can be easier in the long run until we become really solid and stable with it.

When we do pro and con lists (reasons why a decision is a good idea and a bad idea), whether it is an actual list on paper or when we turn something over and over in our minds, it is actually us going back and forth, back and forth. Upward spiral, downward spiral, upward spiral, downward spiral. That's referred to as 'splitting our energy', and it is usually what we are doing when we are feeling stuck in a rut, or torn.

However, when we say to ourselves, "I have a bright idea!" that could very well be an upward spiral idea that will lead you to the next step in making your upward spiral decision. When we call something an 'AHA! moment' that could very well be the upward spiral answer you are looking for. When you feel like a thought has come "out of the blue" that could very well be an upward spiral decision sneaking in when you weren't trying to work hard at figuring it out.

You may have heard stories of how great inventions, music, or ideas have come to people while they worked in a patent office, spent time alone in nature, or had a shower. Could this be because we are better able to receive upward spiral ideas/decisions when we are relaxed and open? Whatever you call upward spiral ideas and decisions you will recognize them because they feel invigorating and rejuvenating which is very different from the exhaustion of trying to figure something out.

Being our genius self is receiving our genius self.

Oops! Forgot to post the remaining four LOP Journal summaries to this page. Go to https://lopwithsandi.blogspot.com/ to read the rest.

LOP Journal Part I -- What do I Prefer?
For many of us, we have spent a good portion of our lives being told what we should be doing, what we are expected to choose, what we are suppose to like, until it is such a habit we may have lost what it is we really love. Perhaps we haven't consciously stepped back and asked ourselves, "What do I honestly prefer?" That is living by accident, not on purpose, and it can get really boring and exhausting.

Well, if that rings true for you, I think this is going to be a fun week. Over the next seven days we are going to practice asking ourselves 10, or a 100, or a 1000 times a day, "What do I prefer in this situation? What do I really love?" It could be what you prefer to eat? It could be about driving a different route than usual because you just want to try it. It could be about preferring wearing these clothes to those clothes. Or, it could be deeper preferences around what tasks at work you prefer, what things you prefer to do for your health, or your relationships.

The trick is don't justify what you prefer. Don't tell yourself reasons why you prefer it. And, perhaps most importantly, this is not about being right about why you don't like something else. Just 'admit' to yourself, "this is what I prefer." In your own mind allow a momentum to get going: I prefer this; I prefer that; I really love that, don't know why I just do; what fun this is; oh, someday I am going to do that. Just let your true preferences flow.

The great thing with practicing this is no one else needs to agree with what you prefer, in fact, while playing with this this week, don't tell anyone what your preferences are. Just enjoy this with yourself. At times I have been a little embarrassed with what I have preferred, but once I just admitted to myself that I really, really enjoy this food or that T.V. show, and allow myself to love it, how good that feels, and how clarifying it is to just own that aspect of ourselves!!!

Now some may be thinking, "if I do that I will eat everything in sight and do nothing all week!" Well first, I know that is not true, but second, for this week I am not saying take action with any of your preferences (we will get to that in Part III of the Journal), just get in the swing of being honest with yourself about what you prefer. See if there are some things that you have been saying, doing, and being that are not who you really are; are not true for you; that have been motivated by what you think you should be doing. Notice why you haven't been choosing what you love and prefer. Again, if you can, jot them down on paper and take a look at your list at the end of the week. That will be a fun look at WYRA.

Your preferences this week may not be life changing, but the habit of knowing your preferences will be.

Living On Purpose (LOP) Journal Introduction
Being hospitalized for depression in adolescence made it very clear to me that what I was doing wasn't working . . . but I had no idea what to do about it.

Through the years, my personal journey, my education in social work, my career in adult education, the writing of Living On Purpose: Life Beyond Mediocrity, and the subsequent Journal, have all been fueled by my love and fascination with who we really are (WWRA), the 'genius-ness' of each one of us, and that life is more about Maslow's 'peak experiences', and Joseph Campbell's 'following our bliss' than it is about the mediocrity.

What follows is a sharing of the learning, and the constant practicing, of me being Who I Really Am (WIRA). The Journal is an ever evolving understanding of what I've found works for me. This accumulation of information started off as a workshop, then it became a book and now it has become a 90 page question and answer journal. With every question I have, the more my experience of LOP continues to grow and evolve. I am lovin' this journey . . . join in if you are inspired.

Over the weeks to follow I'll post questions and ideas that are a part of us getting to know, believe in, trust and express our true selves. They have assisted me with staying in alignment with what really matters to me and I know there will be some nuggets of clarity for you too -- because these aren't my answers, they are yours. If you would like to spend some time clarifying who you really are (WYRA), what is most important to you, how you are a genius, and how to trust what is real for you, grab a journal and come on along.

Here is what the three parts of LOP focus on:
Part I -- Remembering WWRA. Each one of us is a unique individual with our own desires, perspectives, priorities, skills and talents. The more I have discovered, and owned, those 'unique-nesses' the better I have felt, the better life has become.

Part II -- Believing in WWRA. Clarifying the priorities and perspectives of WIRA in the first part is freeing, however, if I doubt them (meaning I believe other's opinions more than my own), I can end up feeling frustrated, angry, or full apprehension, which leads to being stuck in a very uncomfortable place. Believing in You allows you to be You, and everyone else to be who they are. A whole other level of freedom!

Part III -- Expressing WWRA. As I believe in WIRA, ideas and desires and opportunities begin to flow and my ability to trust and play in the momentum of them is what makes life fun and is what LOP defines as success. You being a LOP kind of success may end up looking different than what you are right now believing your success needs to be, but I promise you, it is going to be way more fun and exciting than what you are now imagining.

So, if you want to join in, you can start now. Grab some paper (writing things down can be a great focusing tool), and ponder the following questions. Remember: Be honest with yourself; be kind with yourself; and reach for the fun of WYRA.
1) Have you ever experienced a glimpse of WYRA? If yes, what happened? How did it feel? What did you know in that moment to be true for yourself?
2) Why would being more of WYRA be of interest to you? Honestly, at your core, what do you want?

"My Choice of Freedom"
In the book Essentialism, Greg McKeown talks about the difference between options and choices. He says, "For too long, we have overemphasized the external aspect of choices (our options) and underemphasized our internal ability to choose (our actions)." (pg. 35) In LOP I would take that another step and say that our 'internal ability to choose' also includes how we choose to perceive, think, and feel about anything that is going on. When we consciously choose the upward spiral perspective we feel our best, we have the most success, we find the perfect answers to our questions, and it's when we have any chance of uplifting others.

So, I have been doing my best to practice my choice of freedom with a question. When I encounter a condition in my day that feels like it is on the downward spiral I ask myself, "Do I need this condition to be different in order to feel good? Do I need (fill in the blank with some external condition you are wanting i.e. the kids to clean up their room; a boss to listen to my opinions; slow people to drive faster) in order to feel good?" If my answer is yes I know I am being lazy with my choices and expecting others to take care of my feelings for me. Living that way means I will always be a victim to whatever is going on around me, and that feels awful. Being a victim to the 'external aspect of choices' is a loss of freedom that I am inflicting on myself.

If my answer is no, I don't need that condition to be different in order to feel good, then I am knowing that I am the source of my own power and freedom. If my answer is no then I am understanding that I am not really looking for this condition to be different, I am looking to feel better, and I can do something about that. When I am able to find an upward spiral perspective without conditions needing to be different then I take my power back, I am better able to access the knowing of my worth, and I am trusting what is real for me -- that is Living On Purpose (LOP).

Now I know there are times when we may really be caught up in believing that something needs to be different in order to feel good, i.e. the death of a loved one, the ability to pay our bills, or feeling alone. But if Viktor Frankl (Mans Search for Meaning) was able to do it in a N**i concentration camp, I believe I can do it too.

LOP is choosing the upward spiral because that is what sets me free.

For more on LOP you can go to http://lopwithsandi.blogspot.com/
For more on LOP

Living On Purpose With Sandi Living On Purpose (LOP) is remembering, believing in, and expressing who we really are. This blog is the sharing of the moment by moment experience of practicing Living On Purpose . . . because we all want to feel good.

You're One in a Billion

One of the basic tenets of LOP is that we are all geniuses. This is not about the traditional IQ scores that many of us are use to, it is based on the idea that we are individuals, unique, and there is no one that can do us as well as we can.

I recently purchased a National Geographic speciality issue on the "Science of Genius". Within it was information on Harold Gardner's research around MI -- Multiple Intelligences. MI outlines nine areas of human aptitude recognizing that our differences are vast and important. The aptitudes include: logical-reasoning, musical, spatial, naturalist, interpersonal, bodily-kinesthetic, linguistic intrapersonal and existential.

Although I find these categories fascinating, exploring them is not the purpose of this post, so I will allow you to explore them further if you are inspired. The exciting part I want to express in this post is how MI has expanded my appreciation of our uniqueness and how much each of us can benefit by each of us being who we really are and expressing that out into the world.

Imagine if a person picked a number between one and ten indicating how much they identified with a particular aptitude, and they did that with all nine aptitudes. They would arrive at a unique combination of numbers that would be (if I am doing the math of calculating outcomes correctly) 1: 1,000,000,000 -- that's one in a billion, and that does not take into account the differences of where we were born, how we grew up and all the other experiences we each have that make us unique.

Based on the concept of these numbers this means that in the whole world there are seven other people who share the same combination of skills, abilities, interests and priorities as you. There are maybe seven other people who see things the same way you do, process information the same way you do, would do a job the same way you do, have creative ideas the same way you do. And this brings us back to the basis of LOP: if you don't share/honor/remember and express who you really are with the rest of us -- who will?

LOP is about recognizing, appreciating, and benefiting from the differences each of us contributes as we LOP.