Be A Better You!

04/29/2026

Before a big session starts, there’s always a tell. You can feel it; the energy – is palpable. ⚡Almost electric.

That’s the room I walked into last week.

I had the thrill of running a behaviour session for 150 people, a room full of managers and employees, all hooked in and waiting – to learn more about themselves with DISC (and specifically the Thomas Behaviour assessment) and what it means when your most intense behaviour preferences are high or low D, I, S or C.

Here’s the thing about DISC (and why it’s still the 🐝 bee’s knees):

✅ It’s based on the work of William Moulton Marston back in the 1920s.
And despite everything that’s changed since then…

👉 humans haven’t. We still:

⏩ judge others by what they do
⏩ judge ourselves by what we meant to do
⏩ react, adapt, protect, push… all through behaviour

That hasn’t evolved.

So when you give people a safe, no-judgement way to see their behaviour — things get interesting fast.

In two hours we went through a fabulous session where they identified themselves; started to consider others, learned speed reading and celebrated their own styles.

At the end of the session, one simple instruction to see behaviour in action:
👉 “When I call your style… stand up.”
And then…

🔴High D
“After 3 — fist pump and shout: LET’S GO!”
→ half of them groaned
→ some refused to stand
→ didn’t love being told what to do
(Exactly.)

🟡High I
“Jazz hands — WOOHOO!”
→ instant energy
→ loud, chaotic, brilliant
→ zero hesitation

🔵High S
“Hands on heart — WE’VE GOT YOU.”
→ the whole room softened
→ audible “aah”
→ calm, grounded, steady

🟢High C
“Finger up — IT DEPENDS.”
→ laughter (from everyone)
→ then they did it… properly
→ with just enough logic behind it

In 5 minutes, 150 people didn’t just learn DISC… they experienced it!

If you’ve ever sat in a room thinking: “Why does this person react like that?”
DISC answers it.

✅Without judgement.
✅Without labels.
✅Without fluff.

Just real, observable behaviour.

And in a room of 150 people…it gets very loud, very honest, very quickly.

This is the work I love doing. I usually wear shoes.

🧦🧦In one picture you can see I have socks on… had to take my shoes off… pulled my back a week prior riding my horse and it hurt…😖🤒😁

04/28/2026

We unpack what makes a good manager today and why the old command and control mindset no longer works in a complex workplace. We share stories from early management mistakes, removals business realities, and the leadership habits that build trust while still driving results.
• a modern definition of good management: clarity, trust, emotional intelligence, adaptability
• learning to manage people rather than assuming it comes naturally
• how empathy without boundaries can slide into poor performance
• falling into management as a business owner and learning on the job
• handling temporary staff and why that approach would change today
• why consistency matters more than being “nice”
• what HR does now and how it supports people and the business
• why management is not the only path to success
• the risk of wanting to be liked instead of having tough conversations
• new manager insecurity and the value of asking for support
• treating people fairly rather than treating everyone the same
If you want any more information or to let us know what you'd like us to talk about, go to the website beabetteryou.ca podcast.

04/23/2026

It's all about Assumptions!
This week of Straight up Talk with Peter and Sharon, We swap brutally honest stories where one small assumption turns a simple message into wasted time, lost money, and awkward apologies. We dig into how language, accent, and “shortcut thinking” derail clarity, then share better ways to check understanding without shaming anyone.
Full episode here: https://www.buzzsprout.com/2607508/episodes/19026863

04/15/2026

Have you ever had to give feedback to someone and your heart starts racing, your mouth feels dry, your palms sweat sometimes hours before you start?

If so, you are not alone.

There’s a good reason for it – your brain sees it as a social threat so engages the stress response. Not helpful, but explainable; and it can be overridden with practice.

Most vague feedback isn’t a skill issue, it’s avoidance.

“Be more proactive.”
“Communicate better.”
“Step up a bit more.”
“You’re not a team player”

These phrases sound like feedback, but they’re not.
👉 They’re generic
👉 They hide from specifics
👉 They signify avoidance.

Managers know they should give regular feedback, most don’t.

Or when they do it's like this:
📛 “Joe, In yesterday’s meeting you had a bad attitude”

Now Joe is thinking:
👉 "What does that even mean?? No I didn’t!!”

We don’t give vague feedback because we don’t know better, we do it because:

🤯 Specific feels uncomfortable
🤯 Direct feels risky
🤯 Clarity might land badly
🤯 We don’t want to hurt the other person
(although how they take it is on them; how you say it is on you)

So we blur it, and still call it
👉 “development feedback”

🧠 What’s happening:
Your brain prefers cognitive ease
⏩General = fast
⏩Specific = effort

So you choose:
❌Easier for you
❌ Useless for them

And the result? Of course, nothing changes, and Joe now resents you.

Clarity feels uncomfortable.
👉 But confusion costs more.

Because the brain can’t act on vague or misguided interpretation.
It needs:

✅Observable behaviour
✅Clear direction
✅Something it can actually do

👉 Try this instead, be specific:

“Joe, in yesterday’s meeting you spoke over me twice.
The conversation shut down and I felt irritated.
I know you were trying to contribute.
Next time, let me finish before jumping in.”

(Yes there's also the option to open the conversation - what you would say next is crucial and often is missed)
Being direct is not harsh.
👉 That’s saying what you mean without being mean

Learn how to say what you mean without being mean.

04/14/2026

The fastest way to understand yourself is to pay attention to what sets you off. That flash of anger on a train, the disgust when someone is rude to wait staff, the moment you realise you cannot connect with a person no matter how hard you try, none of it is random. It is values at work, quietly calling the shots.

The fastest way to understand yourself is to pay attention to what sets you off. That flash of anger on a train, the disgust when someone is rude to wait staff, the moment you realise you cannot connect with a person no matter how hard you try, no...

04/13/2026

10 Manager Challenges Series
4️⃣ Not Setting Clear Expectations

Your team misses the mark.
Again.
You think: “They should know this by now.”

But here’s the question…
❓Did you ever actually make it clear – to them – or just think you did❓

🧠 What’s happening in your brain:
The brain is wired to fill in gaps.
When something feels obvious to you… Your brain assumes it’s obvious to everyone else.

👉 This is prediction bias, it saves time.
But it creates misalignment.

Because what’s clear in your head…is often vague to someone else.

👉 Your brain rewards you for assuming shared understanding.
👉 Not for checking it.
And over time?
❌You don’t get better performance.
❌You get repeated frustration.

Try this instead:

Slow down the clarity.
Be explicit about:
✅What “good” looks like
✅What success includes (and excludes)
✅Deadlines and priorities
✅Who owns what

Don’t ask:
👉 “Does that make sense?”
(Because everyone says yes to that.)

Instead, flip the script and ask this – it’s a prized question in the Manager toolkit:
👉 “Can you walk me through how you understand this?”

This way, you pick up what they know and don’t know, and you can course correct from there.
❌Clarity isn’t over-communication.
✅It’s alignment.

And great managers don’t assume understanding; they make it a shared conversation, they make it clear.
📩DM me to grab a copy of the 5 Toughest Conversations in the Workplace, and why avoiding them is already damaging your team.
✅How to have them in a framework that actually works...

04/07/2026

10 Manager Challenges Series
3️⃣ Jumping in Too Quickly (Rescuing instead of letting them struggle)

Your team member is struggling. You can see it. You can fix it.
So you step in.
Helpful… right?

🧠 What’s happening in your brain:
Your brain is wired to reduce discomfort — yours and theirs. Watching someone struggle creates tension - like watching someone learning to swim.

So you act to relieve it.
👉 Fast action = immediate relief
👉 Relief = reward

But here’s the problem:
When you remove the struggle… You remove the learning.

👉 Your brain rewards you for fixing the problem.
👉 Not for building their capability.

⏰And over time?
Your team gets better at needing you.

Try this instead:
🐾Pause before stepping in.

Ask:
❓“What part of this is most challenging?”
❓“What have you tried so far?”
❓“What would you do if I wasn’t here?”

Let them think. Let them wrestle with it.

Yes, it’s uncomfortable. We want to help, we may squirm.

✅Good.

🌻Because struggle isn’t failure, it’s where growth happens.

And great managers don’t rescue, they build people's confidence to explore and find answers for themselves.

The best managers don’t wait for confidence, they learn how to do things the right way.
📩DM me to grab a copy of the 5 Toughest Conversations in the Workplace, and why avoiding them is already damaging your team.
✅How to have them in a framework that actually works...

04/02/2026

I am beyond proud to say - Peter and I are on Spotify and other podcast platforms!!
THANK YOU so very much for the inspiration Nyree Segui, Greg Segui Fiona Robertson-Alford - we LOVE your Podcasts -and especially to Chris (not on FB) for making this come true - wonderful production courtesy of! Isle Of Sound
Take a listen and let us know what you think: https://open.spotify.com/episode/7lsAKOdnqqiIfkjE01eMlI

04/02/2026

10 Manager Challenges Series
2️⃣ Over-Giving Answers (Instead of Coaching)

A team member comes to you with a problem.
You already know the answer.
So you give it.
Efficient, right?

🧠 Here’s what’s happening in your brain:
Giving answers creates cognitive ease — it’s faster, requires less effort.
And… you get a small dopamine hit for being the expert.
👉 It feels good.
👉 It feels productive.

But here’s the catch:
Every time you give the answer…

You train your team to come back for the next one.

👉 Your brain rewards you for being the expert.
👉 Not for developing others.

And over time?

You become the bottleneck.
Try this instead:

Pause.
Ask one question before giving your answer.
• “What do you think we should do?”
• “What options have you considered?”
• “What’s your recommendation?”

It will feel slower.
A little uncomfortable.

Good.

That’s you doing the harder — and more valuable — work of leadership.
Because great managers don’t create dependence.
They create thinkers.

The best managers don’t wait for confidence, they learn how to do things the right way.
📩DM me to grab a copy of the 5 Toughest Conversations in the Workplace, and why avoiding them is already damaging your team.
✅How to have them in a framework that actually works...

04/01/2026

10 Manager Challenges Series
1️⃣ Avoiding Tough Conversations

🧠Your brain treats a difficult conversation like a threat to survival.
Not metaphorically, literally.

🆘The same part of your brain that reacts to physical danger… reacts to social risk.

❌Mostly, managers avoid it. Delay it. Or soften it so much the message disappears.

📢And then we call it a communication problem.
It’s not.
It’s biology.

💰But here’s the cost:

What you avoid… compounds.
And what could’ve been a 5-minute conversation turns into a 5-month issue.

The shift?
👉 Uncomfortable doesn’t mean unsafe

The best managers don’t wait for confidence, they learn how to do it, the right way.

📩DM me to grab a copy of the 5 Toughest Conversations in the Workplace, and why avoiding them is already damaging your team.
✅How to have them in a framework that actually works...

12/10/2025

“Look at this! We’ve got plans every evening and weekend between now and Christmas!!”
🥳 🎄 🥳 🎄

I looked at my (then) boyfriend, he was excited as a giddy kipper… bouncing around the room with a paper calendar in his hands – he wanted to stick it on the fridge, I had other ideas where he could stick it.
👀👀👀

It was December 1st and my (then) boyfriend, we’ll call him Ed, not because that’s his name but he had a big, head, and this year I’d let him be in charge of our social activities.

Big. Mistake.
🤯 🤯 🤯

I was not, pleased.

Don’t get me wrong – Ed was fun to be around and we had some good times together, he was always up for something but I was beginning to feel resentful.

He was notorious for having great ideas so starting things but not finishing them. A quick look around his place you could see that – unfinished projects everywhere.

By the time December 19th rolled around and we were on the home-stretch of endless socialising with different groups of people, my patience had about worn thin.
😵 😵 😵

Our last big event before Christmas was a lavish party our friends were hosting, it really was the only thing on the calendar from hell’s activities I was looking forward to.

But I was people’d out. I’d had enough.

Instead of having a blast with the people I actually did like, I ended up sitting alone, on the stairs, with a cup of incredible home-made egg-nog, with additional added rum for extra comfort, mumbling to myself.
🍵 🥃 🍵 🥃

We split up shortly after this.

And so it was with the high Influence boyfriend – tons of fun to be around, forever perky, starting things but not finishing them, and loves to tell a story!

Tips for the High Influence people!
✅Finish at least one of the things you start. Enthusiasm is amazing… follow-through is even better
✅Not every thought needs to be spoken. Truly. Keep a couple inside your head for later
✅Ask others how they feel too. Sometimes your excitement fills the room — make space for different voices
✅Slow your yes-reflex. You don’t have to say yes to every plan, event, or idea. Really
✅Read the room. Not everyone has the same energy level, especially before coffee.
✅Let others be honest with you. Not every difference of opinion means you’re being rejected – let your curious mind out to discover options!

How do you deal with your High Is?