The Stress Experts

10/08/2026

I recently finished a 3-day AI employee boot camp with Callan Faulkner, and it opened my eyes to how helpful AI can be. As I was watching, I could feel my mind expanding with new possibilities.

But as I thought about it later, I could feel my world speeding up, and that caused me to pause.

I'm still not completely comfortable with the thought of using AI. But it's a tool that's not going away.

I'm sure that back in the day, when vehicles started becoming popular, the horse-drawn carriage drivers and diehards were afraid of giving up their carriages too, for something that was faster, made more noise, and was unfamiliar and possibly scary.

There's no denying it: change can be scary. Change is unfamiliar, and because it's unfamiliar, it's usually unpredictable. For our nervous system, unfamiliar is dangerous and unsafe. So if you feel some hesitation about AI, or about any big change, that hesitation makes sense. It's your nervous system doing its job.

But our hesitation doesn't have to stop us or paralyze us. We can use it as caution moving forward, to help us focus and pay attention. For me, paying attention means making AI the tool, not the god or the master. We must stay the master.

That being said, I have decided to incorporate AI into my business to better serve the people I serve. And I'm also paying attention to that pause I felt after the boot camp, because I know the nervous system needs time to settle. That pause is where this idea of AI and shifting gears came from.

AI might speed up our world - like adding a higher gear. But adding another gear doesn't automatically mean adding more stress. Regardless of the number of gears there are, stress becomes a problem if we don't have the tools and the skills to "downshift" our nervous system to a lower gear.

I often describe stress management and nervous system regulation as learning the skills to shift gears. The higher gears aren't the problem. They're what help us focus, meet a deadline, or respond when something important needs our attention. The trouble comes when we get stuck in a gear and can't shift out of it.

You might recognize it. The workday is over, but your mind is still racing. You sit down to rest and feel restless, or even a little guilty. You finish one thing and immediately reach for the next.

Remember that the nervous system reads unfamiliar as unsafe? When we've been running in high gear for a long time, high gear becomes the familiar thing, and slowing down starts to feel unfamiliar, even unsafe.

That isn't a personal failing. It's the same nervous system doing its job.

If we know how to shift gears up and down, we can meet the demand of the situation, whatever that situation is.

That's what resilience really is: not the ability to handle more and more, but the ability to be adaptable and shift gears as the situation requires.

We can't control how fast the world moves, but we can practice downshifting, so that a new gear becomes one more option rather than the only speed we know.

Downshifting doesn't always mean physically slowing down. Sometimes it does. But more often, it's finding an inner pace that's more appropriate for the situation.

And downshifting doesn't have to be one big thing. It can be small and frequent - often easier, more attainable and more practical.

Here's where we can start.

Next time you notice you're running in high gear, try taking your foot off the gas pedal, even just for 10 breaths. This could be between meetings or tasks, before you open your email, or when you close your laptop after learning something new.

Bring your attention to the area around your heart and let your breath slow down and deepen a little, breathing in for about five seconds and out for about five. This is HeartMath's Heart-Focused Breathing Technique.

The goal isn't to suddenly feel completely calm. It's to downshift, even just a little.

You can also get curious: "What gear am I in right now?" "When was the last time I shifted down?"

The more we practice shifting gears, the easier it gets, and the less a faster world has to mean a more stressful one.

If you'd like a simple way to practice downshifting, my 3-Minute Stress Reset is a good place to begin.
https://thestressexperts.com/free-stress-reset

Here's to calming stress at the source.

With heart,

Louise

The Stress Experts

09/24/2026

“Get it out.”
“Let it out.”
“Release it.”

But what exactly is the “it” we are talking about?

I started thinking about this because of the word express.

It actually has more than one meaning.

One definition is to squeeze something out.

Another is to communicate or convey something.

When we're talking about expressing an emotion, which definition do we mean?

We sometimes talk about emotions as though they're something that builds up inside us and needs to be squeezed out, pushed out, or released.

But an emotion isn't a substance sitting inside you that needs to be expelled.

It is an experience you're having.

Expressing an emotion isn't about getting something out of you.

It's about communicating what you're experiencing.

Maybe you say, “I'm angry.”
Maybe you tell someone, “That really hurt me.”
Maybe you cry.
Maybe you write about what you're feeling.
Maybe you move your body.
Maybe you tell someone what you need.

These can all be ways of expressing an emotion.

And sometimes, that's exactly what we need.

Expressing emotions can help us communicate that something hurt us.

It can help us ask for support.
It can help us set a boundary.
It can help someone else know what's happening inside us.

But expressing an emotion isn't necessarily the same as experiencing the emotion.

You can talk about something that made you angry without actually allowing yourself to feel the anger.
You can cry and still be trying very hard to avoid what you're feeling.
You can write pages about what happened and still be focused on the story of what happened rather than what you're actually experiencing inside.

Sometimes, what we really need isn't to “get the emotion out.”

We need to allow ourselves to actually feel what is happening inside us. To really experience the emotion.

That might mean noticing the sadness in your chest.
Feeling the anger and noticing the heat in your body.
Noticing the urge to run away, shut down, or push something away—and allowing yourself to be aware of that experience instead of immediately trying to get rid of it.

Nothing dramatic has to happen.

You don't have to cry.
You don't have to yell.
You don't have to talk about it.
You don't have to “get it out.”

Sometimes, the important part is simply allowing yourself to experience what you're feeling instead of immediately suppressing, avoiding, or trying to change it.

So the next time you find yourself thinking, “I need to get this out,” maybe pause for a moment.

What is it that you actually need?

Do you need to express something?

Do you need to tell someone how you feel?

Do you need to communicate a need or a boundary?

Do you need support?

Or do you need to give yourself some space to actually feel what is happening inside you?

Maybe the answer is both.

Maybe you need to express something and allow yourself to feel it.

But maybe you don't need to do anything outwardly at all.

Maybe you just need a little space to notice what's happening inside you.

There isn't necessarily one right way to deal with an emotion.

Sometimes we need to express.
Sometimes we need to simply experience.
Sometimes we need both.

And maybe one of the most helpful things we can realize is that we don't have to have a big emotional release in order to work through what we're feeling.

An emotion isn't something we need to get rid of.

It is an experience.

And we can learn to experience it without being afraid of it, fighting it, or immediately trying to make it go away.

Here’s to calming stress at the source.

With heart,

Louise

The Stress Experts
thestressexperts.com

09/10/2026

It can be uncomfortable and even painful to feel some emotions.

Grief can feel like a hole is being ripped through your heart.

Anger can feel like your blood is boiling in your veins.

Shame can feel like you can’t get small enough.

So it makes sense why we don’t actually want to experience unpleasant emotions - they’re unpleasant!

On top of the fact that they are uncomfortable, we often have unconscious beliefs about emotions that keep us from allowing ourselves to feel them. For example, “Anger is destructive”, “Men don’t cry”, “Only weak people feel hurt”.

The emotion may be uncomfortable, but we often add a second layer of stress by judging, resisting, or fearing the emotion itself.

I'm anxious → I hate that I'm anxious → Why can't I just be normal? → Now I'm anxious about being anxious.

I’m angry → Being angry isn’t Christian → I shouldn’t feel this way → Now I’m ashamed that I’m angry.

So we suppress the feelings. We avoid them. Ignore them. Cover them up. Pretend we’re happy.

All of this takes a lot of energy.

And when we continually suppress, avoid, or ignore these unpleasant feelings, they don't necessarily go away. They can remain unresolved for days, months, even decades. They can stay mostly dormant until something in the present pokes them, wakes them up, and initiates the “feeling → feeling about the feeling → shutting down the feeling” pattern all over again.

What if we could interrupt the pattern?

What if having an emotion wasn't a problem?

What if we could experience our emotions without making the experience itself another source of stress?

What if we didn't have to make the feeling go away?

What if we could simply allow ourselves to feel it?

Maybe we can begin by saying:

“Okay. This is what I'm feeling right now.”

We can get curious about the experience instead of immediately judging it.

What am I feeling?

What does this feel like in my body?

Can I allow myself to experience this without needing to change it right now?

Maybe we don't have to fix the feeling.

Maybe we don't have to justify it.

Maybe we can simply allow ourselves to feel what we feel.

Because when we stop fighting, resisting, or suppressing what we're feeling, we don't have to spend so much energy trying not to feel it.

Maybe the goal isn't to never feel uncomfortable emotions.

Maybe it's to learn that an uncomfortable feeling doesn't automatically mean there's a problem that needs to be fixed.

If this is something you recognize in yourself, this is the kind of work I do with clients.

Learn more about Private EFT Sessions
thestressexperts.com/private-sessions

Here’s to calming stress at the source.

With heart,

Louise

The Stress Experts

08/27/2026

There is a piece of advice that has been around for a very long time — be grateful.

Seemingly simple. Seemingly easy. Seemingly harmless.

And yet I am noticing a common pattern in my clients where “being grateful” isn’t always as harmless as it seems.

Don’t get me wrong! I know that a practice of gratitude has amazing benefits. Carol Look explores many of these benefits in her book Yes, Thank You, drawing on research showing associations between gratitude and things like well-being, happiness and stress.

So I’m not arguing against gratitude.

The problem I’m seeing isn’t gratitude itself. The problem is when we use gratitude to argue with our emotions.

With positive intention, we use gratitude to “correct” an emotion before we’ve even acknowledged it because we judge the emotion as wrong.

"I'm sad."
"But I have so much to be grateful for."

"I'm angry."
"But other people have it so much worse."

"I feel rejected."
"That's ridiculous. They probably didn't mean anything by it."

"I'm overwhelmed."
"I shouldn't be. I should be grateful. My life is good."

I find “but other people have it so much worse” especially interesting.

While it is true — and it will most likely always be true — do we have to wait until our suffering is greater than everyone else's before we're allowed to admit that something is hard?

Do we have to win gold at the suffering Olympics before we are allowed to feel our feelings?

Just because someone else might be carrying a heavier load than you, doesn’t mean that what you are carrying weighs nothing.

If we only acknowledge how we feel when we have a legitimate reason, we will spend a lot of time and energy arguing with ourselves about whether our reason is legitimate.

What is the correct number of “things to be grateful for” that you need before you're allowed to have a difficult day? Five? Two? Ten? If you have one thing to be grateful for, are you allowed to be sad?

But what if being grateful for what you have doesn't mean you have to deny what you're feeling?

You don’t have to earn the right to feel the way you feel.

Consider this statement: “This is hard for me right now."

It doesn't require comparison.
It doesn't mean your life is terrible.
It doesn't mean you aren't grateful.
It doesn't mean you won't eventually feel differently.
It simply acknowledges your current experience.

And perhaps that's where we need to start.

Because when we stop arguing with ourselves about whether we're allowed to feel what we feel, we can finally turn our energy and attention toward what we actually need.

Here's to calming stress at the source.

With heart,

Louise

The Stress Experts
thestressexperts.com

08/13/2026

I’ve been struggling with getting clear and making decisions.

Whether it is a decision I have to make for my business or just deciding what to have for lunch, I dance back and forth and say, “I don’t know.”

Then I add more and more pressure to myself:

“Just choose already!! Do SOMETHING!”

But the more pressure I add, the more “I don’t know” I get—and the more frustrated I get with myself.

I used to think it was because I’m just not good at making decisions. It’s just who I am. And honestly, that has been a source of shame.

Then I started thinking maybe it’s because I actually just don’t know what I want.

That wasn’t exactly something I was proud of either.

But now I’m seeing something different.

Maybe I’m not struggling to get clear because I don’t know what I want. Maybe getting clear doesn’t feel safe to a part of me.

In other words, the indecision may actually be a form of protection.

I have a mentor EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques/Tapping) practitioner who helped me uncover this in myself. Her name is Carol Look, and she has a YouTube channel dedicated to exploring and tapping through the blocks that can get in the way of success.

Recently, I received an email from Carol introducing a new video in her tapping series, and it resonated with me immediately.

The idea was this:
Maybe I am not indecisive because I do not know what I want. I may be avoiding clarity because being clear could require action, bring more success, or upset someone.

That really made me stop and think.

Because what if clarity itself has started to feel like a threat?

If I know what I want, then I might have to do something about it.

I might have to make a change.

Someone might be disappointed.

I might have to step outside my comfort zone.

I might become more successful—or more visible—and that could bring its own discomfort.

So staying in the “I don't know” can actually feel safer.

And this is where something else really clicked for me:

Clarity doesn't require action.

I can know what I want without immediately doing anything about it.

I can let myself get clear first.

I can allow myself to notice what I actually want without immediately asking, “Okay, so what am I going to do about it?”

I can let that clarity settle.

And then, later, I can decide what—if anything—I want to do next.

That feels very different from the pressure I've been putting on myself.

Instead of:

“Just decide already! You have to figure this out and DO something!”

I can say:

“What if I could simply let myself know?”

Maybe I don't need to force a decision.

Maybe I don't need to solve everything today.

Maybe I can get curious about what happens inside me when I imagine being completely clear about what I want.

And if I notice fear, resistance, or discomfort, I can work with that—rather than continuing to criticize myself for being indecisive.

That is what Carol's video explores, and it's what I found so helpful.

If you find yourself going back and forth on decisions, repeatedly saying, “I don't know,” you might want to ask yourself a different question:

What if I do know—but being clear doesn't feel safe yet?

And then another:

What am I afraid clarity would require me to do?

You don't have to answer those questions perfectly.

You don't even have to act on the answer.

You can simply get curious.

And if you'd like to explore this with tapping, I highly recommend Carol's video:

Watch & Tap Along with: Afraid to Be Clear? A Hidden Block to Success
https://www.carollok.com/success/afraid-to-be-clear-hidden-block-to-success/

This is the ninth video in Carol's new Hidden Blocks to Success tapping series.

Sometimes the first step isn't making the decision.

Sometimes the first step is simply feeling safe enough to know what you want.

Here’s to calming stress at the source.

With heart,

Louise

The Stress Experts

07/23/2026

There’s something that many of my clients don’t understand before coming to see me.

They often believe that if they could just change their thinking, they would finally feel the way they want to feel. More confident. More calm. More motivated. More at peace.

While our thoughts certainly matter, what many people don't realize is that these internal experiences aren't created by thinking alone. They're deeply influenced by what's happening in the body—particularly the nervous system.

One of the questions I hear often is, "So what should I be telling myself?" It's a great question—but it's often the wrong place to start. Before our thoughts can change our experience, our nervous system often needs to feel safe enough to receive them.

Why does this matter?

Have you ever been afraid? Maybe of heights, of failure, of getting laughed at…or really of anything? Your mind might start racing, your breath may quicken, you may start sweating, trembling.

And in those moments, have you ever tried telling yourself that you aren’t afraid or “there’s nothing to be afraid of” or “don’t think of it”? You might even try telling yourself, “You’ve got this.” Does it work to clear your mind, settle your body and stop the sweating and trembling?

Chances are, no, it doesn’t.

You might be able to do or face the thing you’re afraid of, but what you tell yourself has very little impact on your actual internal experience.

The reason is that our thoughts aren't the only thing influencing how we feel. Our nervous system also plays a powerful role in determining which emotional states feel available to us.

Take confidence, for example. If you lack confidence and doubt yourself, you might believe that banishing those thoughts or trying to force yourself into a “confident mindset” is the solution to feeling confident.

But what’s actually happening isn’t simply a mindset problem—it is the nervous system giving you important information. Often, your nervous system has learned that confidence isn't entirely safe.

Maybe, for you, having confidence has been negatively associated with being overly arrogant or prideful, and those kinds of people weren't well received.

Maybe if you were confident you would have to take on more responsibility and you’re already feeling overloaded.

Maybe having confidence means needing to make hard decisions that you’ve been putting off.

Maybe having confidence means you’ll be noticed and that feels vulnerable.

When you zoom out, your lack of confidence may actually make perfect sense. It can be an intelligent strategy your nervous system developed to protect you.

If you want to feel confident, you need to help your nervous system recognize that it is safe enough to be in that state.

“Fixing your thinking” does little in the way of helping your nervous system recognize safety.

Helping your nervous system feel safe looks different. It isn't about forcing more positive thoughts. It's about creating experiences of safety through things like self-compassion, supportive relationships, regulated breathing, tapping, movement, and other practices that communicate safety to the body. As your nervous system begins to settle, confidence often follows naturally. You don't have to force it.

Whatever state you're longing for—more confidence, calm, peace, joy, self-worth, assertiveness, trust, vulnerability, or hope—your nervous system needs to experience those states as safe before they become more available. When you begin working with your nervous system—not against it—change becomes much less about forcing yourself and much more about creating the conditions for lasting change.

The goal isn't to find the perfect thing to tell yourself. It's to help your nervous system experience those states as safe enough to become available.

Here’s to calming stress at the source.

With heart,

Louise

The Stress Experts

07/11/2026

I recently shared my blog about recovery from stress or challenge in life - the need to switch your “stress” system (sympathetic system) off and turn on the “rest” system (parasympathetic system).

Here’s a short video to help you do that!

⚠️ WARNING: Your body has been in fight-or-flight for too long.Ch...

07/09/2026

I recently realized that I had stopped following my own advice.

I have had a pretty busy year so far - expos, workshops, conferences, photography and editing for a friend’s wedding, with a nearly-full client load.

Since the beginning of the year, I have had my internal throttle set on high - “pedal to the metal” so to speak. I’ve been pushing myself to complete one task to make room for another, planning ahead, and trying to balance the load of several projects at once because their event dates were close together.

Every day for months, my first thought was, “What do I need to get done today?”
And my second thought was, “How can I squeeze that in between my scheduled clients?”

I felt constant internal pressure, not only from the deadlines, but from my own desire to do more than just a good job. I wanted everything to be exceptional. The pressure followed me into the evenings and weekends.

And then, quite suddenly, my schedule cleared up (other than still seeing my one-on-one clients).

But the internal pressure continued.

My thoughts shifted to, “What’s next? What’s going to move my business forward? What can I offer people? What can I make or do for them?”

Still push, push, push.

As I tried to answer these questions, I noticed a significant internal resistance to everything I came up with. I immediately assumed the resistance meant there was some deeper issue I needed to work through — perhaps fear of failure or limiting beliefs around growth. As it turned out, it was something much simpler.

Thankfully, I had my own one-on-one EFT/Tapping session scheduled with my practitioner that afternoon. In that session, I had the profound insight: my next step most aligned with my highest good is…(drum roll, please)…nothing.

That’s right. Nothing.

Stop. Exhale. Shake it off. Release the pressure. Rest. Reset the nervous system. Maybe even celebrate my successes so far. But don’t start anything new. Not right now.

I teach my clients that there is a healthy cycle to stress: stimulus, activation, recovery.

The stimulus is the trigger - in my case the projects and deadlines.

The activation is the nervous system mobilizing to meet the demand - in my case the pressure, hyper-focus, and narrowed attention to complete tasks.

The recovery is the downshift in the nervous system once the demand has passed. In my case, that downshift never happened.

You might recognize this in your own life.

Maybe you finally get home after a hectic day, but you can't relax.

Maybe you finish a major project only to immediately start worrying about the next one.

Maybe you sit down to watch TV, yet your mind is still making lists.

Or perhaps you feel guilty for resting because it seems like there's always something more productive you should be doing.

These can all be signs that your body hasn't completed the recovery part of the stress cycle.

Stress itself isn't the problem; getting trapped in activation is. Our nervous systems are designed to respond to demand and then recover. When recovery doesn't happen, the body continues acting as though the demand is still present, even when the deadline has passed.

Maybe your nervous system isn't asking you to do more.

Maybe it's asking you to pause for just long enough to complete the stress cycle.

Recovery isn't falling behind. It's part of moving forward.

Here’s to calming stress at the source.

With heart,

Louise

The Stress Experts
thestressexperts.com

06/25/2026

The world can feel heavy at times, there’s no doubt about that. Whether it's challenging news, concerns about the future, pressures at work, or responsibilities at home, many people find themselves carrying an increased emotional load.

We spend energy every day. We care for our families and friends, meet deadlines, solve problems, and try to keep up with the demands of life. While much of this is meaningful, it also draws on the very resource that many people forget to monitor - their own inner battery.

What is your inner battery?

Imagine inside of you is a battery. The more charge there is in your inner battery, the more in charge you are of how you think, how you feel, and how you act.

When your inner battery is charged, you are more able to:

-make wise decisions
-be patient and compassionate
-think and communicate clearly
-feel energized
-stay composed when handling challenges

But when it’s low, you may:

-think less clearly
-become irritable
-make more mistakes
-feel exhausted
-not feel like yourself
-feel overwhelmed by normal tasks

Many people judge themselves for these things, but they are not character flaws; they are signs of your resources running low and indicate your need to recharge.

When you notice these signs, self-care is less of a luxury and more of a necessity.

But isn’t self-care selfish?

A common objection to self-care that I hear from my clients is that self-care is selfish. But self-care doesn’t have to be at the expense of caring for others. In fact, caring for yourself makes you more able to care for others. That’s not selfish at all.

Caring for yourself isn’t only about vacations and spa days; it’s about caring for your inner battery. Self-care is about protecting your energy, using it wisely, and replenishing it regularly.

Maintaining your capacity is one of your most important responsibilities.

Now, you might be wondering, “But with all the pressures, tasks, and responsibilities, where is the time for self-care?”

Think small.

Here are 3 practical ways you can engage in self-care by addressing your inner battery:

1 - Spot Check. Pause and notice your current emotional state. Awareness helps you identify energy drains before they become bigger problems.

2- Hand on chest. One intentional breath. Place a hand on your chest and take one slow, intentional breath. This helps shift your attention from your thoughts to your body and can interrupt stress in the moment.

3- Notice your feet on the floor. Bring your awareness to your feet making contact with the floor. This simple act helps anchor you in the present moment and can calm an activated nervous system.

These 3 simple, self-care tools create powerful shifts in the nervous system. Repeated use of these tools accumulates big energy savings in your inner battery.

The goal is not to eliminate stress or stop caring about the challenges around you. The goal is to pay attention to your inner battery and replenish it before it becomes depleted.

Small moments of self-care may seem insignificant, but over time they help build the energy, resilience, and capacity needed to continue showing up for the things and people who matter most to you.

Reflection:
What is one small thing you can do today to protect your inner battery?

Here’s to calming stress at the source.

With heart,

Louise

The Stress Experts
thestressexperts.com

06/12/2026

Another great day at the Manitoba Fire Chiefs Association Conference in Steinbach.

The simplicity of my booth is intentional. In a world full of noise, stimulation, and constant demands, I’m talking about something different: helping people understand how to switch gears in their nervous system.

I’ve had the opportunity to connect with some incredible leaders who genuinely care about the well-being of their members and are working to change how mental health is viewed in the fire service.

Those conversations give me a lot of hope.