06/29/2021
Here's the truth: I sometimes struggle with writing what I want to on my social media. Because I'm afraid.
I'm afraid because I'm still recovering from an extremely covertly abusive relationship.
This fear comes from having been stalked, online and in person by my ex.
Having him trick me into telling him where I am, who I'm with, and what I'm doing even after he'd left.
Him then guilting me or critisizing and judging me for wanting to have privacy, and being accused of lying because I didn't just tell him where I was.
It comes from years and years of being convinced I was always the one in the wrong, and half a decade of him making me feel as though I couldn't make a decision without his approval or permission.
It was so bad I used to ask him constantly if he'd prefer a fork or spoon with every meal I made him. Why? Because I was afraid he'd get annoyed if I gave him the wrong thing, or he just wouldn't eat it.
The worst part? I didn't even realize this kind of behaviour was abuse. 9 years of being best friends, 5 years in a relationship, and a child and I didn't even know, I was being abused. All I knew was that I was unhappy, and depressed, and that everyone believed I was the problem.
On days where I'm stuck on loop (ptsd is a common side effect of mental and emotional abuse) CBD is my best friend.
Bringing my body back to homeostasis, and helping me relax, breathe, and balance out the cortisol in my body from stress.
Combine CBD with the comfort of a warm beverage and give yourself a mental wellness time out.
Recipe on second page 💚
Ps. Sorry it's more matcha 🤣🤣
