MacEwan Anonymous Acknowledgments, Admit and Confessions - MAAAC

With finals season comes time for end of semester venting/confessions.
Good luck on your finals!

#718
Keep your untrained “service dogs” off campus. Your barking dogs have been reported to security.

As midterm season rolls around once more, we are ready to resume Anonymous postings

*Checks calendar*
Open and ready for your submissions

#717- I know this page may be highly inactive, because of many reasons.

I just want to get this off my mind.

I feel as if I'll never be able to date again. I've been single for 6 years now, and haven't really tried dating since then. I haven't been in a long-term relationship either. The only two instances of me dating were extremely short term.

I'm 26 now, almost graduated from this university. Not sure how to flirt or even try to talk about myself in conversations, because I feel as if I'm not interesting anymore lol. Everything seems so insignificant in relation
to my life, like I have big debt, and I'm bored all the time because of my circumstances.

Plus being 26 and being in university so long, since 2016 makes me feel ashamed, sad, disappointed in myself etc.

I do have a therapist but all she re-iterates is to challenge your own assumptions and things you believe about yourself (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy) which I know fondly of because I've taken all the way to PSYC 200s however never pursued it because I can't pass STATS for the life of me.

Idk everything is hard right now. I'm on all the dating apps but nothing is really biting, and I'm not sure what to do.

It's funny, I was at an UNO tournament, and made eye contact with someone because she was in my group, and one of her classmates was in it. This first year also had more confidence than me and wanted everyone's instagrams (which I've learned is a fairly normal thing to ask for), but I never really got hers. I feel regret, and feel sad this may become a continuing pattern of avoidance due to anxiety, and just low-self confidence.

I just wish I had the authentic self-confidence to pursue dating again, or even pursue small actions to be able to change my life positively in a meaningful way.

#716- With wealth disparity being at an all time high, now is a great time to be a communist/socialist. Me and my comrades are looking for students who want to see an end to the class oppression inherent to capitalism within our lifetimes. Who’s in?

#715 - Bus drivers fu***ng suck here. If you’re standing even remotely close to the stop the driver will look at you dead in the eyes and just take off.

Or if you’re late by 5 seconds and they see you catching up by only a few feet they will just drive off.

I noticed even as soon as I get on a bus they don’t give anyone any time to sit down. NOT EVEN 20 seconds. I have a fractured ankle and I even told the driver to give me a moment before I sat down and he refused.

What is up with everybody being in a rush? I know they have schedules, but what happened to morals and basic self awareness/ respect?

#714 - I'm jealous of the people who can manage their anxiety within the moment and still be able to know what they want to say, what they were talking about and how to essentially minimize their anxiety a lot.

Meanwhile, I'm just scared that if I end up in a panicked state, and worse comes to worse I end up crying in front of someone, that they won't want to talk to me again.

Especially when it comes to dating.

I only talk about dating so much because I've been single 4.5 years, and I find lots of people attractive at face value. Physical, clothing choices, intelligence etc.

Yet I've been hating and beating myself up because of the past, because of my academic string of Ws, failures etc. and other circumstances.

It's tough to be vulnerable because of this.

#713 - I'm scared of being vulnerable early with people generally, both within platonic relationships, and even when getting to know someone for wanting to date them. I'm fu***ng anxious and nervous that disclosing vulnerable, sensitive things and personal anecdotes, and other things will just drive them away.

I've realized through both self-introspection and through friends that I emotionally over-invest in other people and that their opinions about me are very important.

I want to change this, but it's so hard to be confident in myself inherently, and be mentally apart from the values, credentials of school, and my past that I have and had.

It's gotten to the point that I'm scared of being authentic, and instead want to form some protective shield of being close to perfect or close to the idea of having a good life.

It just sucks.

#712 - My value system of degrees and their application towards a secure job has been something of a wild, delusional thought process. Insofar that I believe that STEM majors have a higher chance of secure job employment than other degrees. Perhaps it's the copious amounts of reddit and quora forums I have read about this that have contributed to this, in addition to my own insecurity of being in a major and a program that I'd thought I never be in growing up.

I always imagined myself graduating in the sciences, with some chemistry major and psychology minor or like a psych major with chem minor type ordeal, but it's too late now.

I just hope Graduate School treats me well.

#711 - My fellow macewan defecator department ministers, where is the best stall and bathroom to relieve some IBS in peace?

#710 - in my day, we'd smoke in the boys room. Y'all are wimps va**ng in there.