08/09/2026
๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐
There are parts within us that are much older than our rational mind.
Parts that do not speak to us through words, explanations or logic โฆ but through our body.
Through tension or contraction.
Through fear, anger or numbness.
Through the impulse to run away โฆ or the longing to hold on even more tightly.
I sometimes call this ๐ฉ๐๐ ๐๐ฃ๐๐ข๐๐ก ๐๐ค๐๐ฎ.
That instinctive & ancient part of us that remembers what once felt unsafe ... and that still tries, in every possible way, to protect us from ever having to experience that pain again.
And so often, these are exactly the parts of ourselves we begin to fight.
We want to control them.
We want to overcome them.
We want to understand them โฆ and preferably, at some point, finally get rid of them.
But what if the part we fight the hardest is actually the part that most needs us to turn towards it?
We can see this very clearly in our relationships.
Because it is often within relationships that our deepest wounds come to the surface. Not necessarily because the other person created those wounds, but because closeness can touch the places within us where we once felt abandoned, unseen, rejected, controlled or unsafe.
And before we know it, we find ourselves repeating the same patterns.
We pull away when someone comes too close.
We hold on when someone needs space.
We become silent while something inside us desperately wants to speak.
We become angry while, underneath that anger, we may actually feel afraid.
Or we adapt ourselves again & again because we fear losing the connection.
And then we may start believing that the frightened, angry, needy, distant or pleasing part of us is the problem an that this part needs to change or disappear ... before we can finally feel whole.
But trying to get rid of these parts can unknowingly repeat the original fragmentation, because once again, a part within us receives the message:
๐ ๐ฐ๐ถ ๐ข๐ณ๐ฆ ๐ต๐ฐ๐ฐ ๐ฎ๐ถ๐ค๐ฉ.
๐ ๐ฐ๐ถ ๐ข๐ณ๐ฆ ๐ฏ๐ฐ๐ต ๐ธ๐ฆ๐ญ๐ค๐ฐ๐ฎ๐ฆ ๐ฉ๐ฆ๐ณ๐ฆ.
๐ ๐ฐ๐ถ ๐ฏ๐ฆ๐ฆ๐ฅ ๐ต๐ฐ ๐ฅ๐ช๐ด๐ข๐ฑ๐ฑ๐ฆ๐ข๐ณ ๐ฃ๐ฆ๐ง๐ฐ๐ณ๐ฆ ๐ ๐ค๐ข๐ฏ ๐ฃ๐ฆ ๐ฐ๐ฌ๐ข๐บ.
And this is where something different can begin โฆ
Real transformation does not start by defeating the obstacle/the problem ... in fact it starts by meeting it. By slowing down & becoming curious about the contraction, the defence or the repeating pattern.
Not because we want that part to keep taking over, but because we can begin to see that it once had a reason for being there. It was simply trying to protect us in the only way it could at the time.
Healing & transforming then becomes less about removing that part and more about restoring our relationship with it and slowly letting it feel:
๐ ๐ด๐ฆ๐ฆ ๐บ๐ฐ๐ถ.
๐ ๐ถ๐ฏ๐ฅ๐ฆ๐ณ๐ด๐ต๐ข๐ฏ๐ฅ ๐ต๐ฉ๐ข๐ต ๐บ๐ฐ๐ถ ๐ฉ๐ข๐ท๐ฆ ๐ฃ๐ฆ๐ฆ๐ฏ ๐ต๐ณ๐บ๐ช๐ฏ๐จ ๐ต๐ฐ ๐ฑ๐ณ๐ฐ๐ต๐ฆ๐ค๐ต ๐ฎ๐ฆ.
๐ ๐ฐ๐ถ ๐ฏ๐ฐ ๐ญ๐ฐ๐ฏ๐จ๐ฆ๐ณ ๐ฉ๐ข๐ท๐ฆ ๐ต๐ฐ ๐ค๐ข๐ณ๐ณ๐บ ๐ต๐ฉ๐ช๐ด ๐ข๐ญ๐ญ ๐ฃ๐บ ๐บ๐ฐ๐ถ๐ณ๐ด๐ฆ๐ญ๐ง.
๐๐ฉ๐ฆ๐ณ๐ฆ ๐ช๐ด ๐ด๐ฑ๐ข๐ค๐ฆ ๐ง๐ฐ๐ณ ๐บ๐ฐ๐ถ ๐ฉ๐ฆ๐ณ๐ฆ ๐ต๐ฐ๐ฐ.
Healing is not about becoming someone new but about gently turning towards the fragments we once had to leave behind โฆ and allowing them to experience that they belong to us again.
So perhaps the question is not:
๐๐ค๐ฌ ๐๐ค ๐ ๐๐๐ฃ๐๐ก๐ก๐ฎ ๐๐๐ฉ ๐ง๐๐ ๐ค๐ ๐ฉ๐๐๐จ ๐ฅ๐๐ฉ๐ฉ๐๐ง๐ฃ?
But rather:
๐๐๐๐๐ ๐ฅ๐๐ง๐ฉ ๐ค๐ ๐ข๐ ๐๐จ ๐ฉ๐ง๐ฎ๐๐ฃ๐ ๐ฉ๐ค ๐จ๐๐ค๐ฌ ๐๐ฉ๐จ๐๐ก๐ ๐ฉ๐๐ง๐ค๐ช๐๐ ๐ฉ๐๐๐จ ๐ฅ๐๐ฉ๐ฉ๐๐ง๐ฃ ๐๐ฃ๐ ๐ฌ๐๐๐ฉ ๐ข๐๐๐๐ฉ ๐๐ฉ ๐ฃ๐๐๐ ๐๐ง๐ค๐ข ๐ข๐ ๐๐ฃ ๐ค๐ง๐๐๐ง ๐ฉ๐ค ๐๐๐๐ก ๐จ๐๐๐ ๐๐ฃ๐ค๐ช๐๐ ๐ฉ๐ค ๐๐ค๐ข๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ฃ๐ฉ๐ค ๐ง๐๐ก๐๐ฉ๐๐ค๐ฃ๐จ๐๐๐ฅ?
With love,
Sofie
๐ซถ๐ผ
