12/09/2024
One of the things Tash and I love to do is go deeper into transformational and personal growth. This past 12 months we've run our Reflections Program twice which has been amazing for everyone who joined us.
There is so much more we have to share about what we've found works for a life of balance and harmony. That's not to say we don't have ups and downs - because we do. And importantly, we've discovered ways to come back into balance quickly.
One of the things we have been talking about recently is our journey as Recovering People Pleasers ;) and how we got to a place where those patterns no longer drive us.
After chatting with some of our community members about it, we realised that our story may not be a unique one and that others might benefit from our experiences. And so of course, a program was born - but first let me share a story.
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Meet Sarah. From a young age, Sarah learned that in order to feel safe and loved, she had to be perfect. Her father’s affection was fleeting, conditional on good grades and perfect behaviour. Her mother, overwhelmed with her own struggles, was emotionally unavailable, rarely offering the nurturing or comfort Sarah craved.
So Sarah adapted. She became the “good girl”—the one who never caused trouble, always did what was expected, and made sure everyone else was happy, even if that meant pushing her own needs aside. She didn’t want to be more of a burden than she already was, and so made herself as small as possible to avoid hurting those around her.
As a child, Sarah’s people-pleasing behaviour was her way of surviving. It gave her the approval and sense of security she desperately needed. But as she grew older, this pattern didn’t go away—it deepened.
In adulthood, Sarah found herself constantly seeking validation, not just from her family, but from everyone around her. At work, she was the go-to person for extra tasks, always willing to stay late, never turning down a request. Even when she was overwhelmed, she couldn’t say “no.” The fear of letting people down or facing criticism haunted her. She thought that if she didn’t do everything perfectly, she would be seen as unworthy, just like when she was a child.
Her personal relationships followed the same pattern. With friends and partners, Sarah was always the giver, the one who sacrificed her time and energy to keep the peace, to avoid conflict. She never voiced her own needs because she believed they didn’t matter.
Deep down, she feared that if she ever stood up for herself, people would leave her or get angry—just as her father had when she didn’t live up to his standards.
But the cost of this behaviour was high. 💔
Sarah feels exhausted, disconnected, and trapped. She struggles with anxiety and resentment, yet can’t seem to break the cycle. Every time she tries to say “no” or set a boundary, guilt holds her back, leaving her stuck in the same patterns that keep her small.
The emotional toll on Sarah was immense. The stress of constantly trying to meet others’ expectations led to anxiety, sleepless nights, and a feeling of being perpetually on edge. Her body began to reflect the stress she was under—tension headaches, back pain, and digestive issues became a regular part of her life. But instead of addressing these signs, Sarah pushed them aside, telling herself that as long as everyone else was happy, she could deal with it.
Sarah’s story might sound familiar because, for so many of us, people-pleasing isn’t just a habit—it’s a survival mechanism we learned as children. But what kept you safe then is now holding you back. It’s time to release those old patterns and create a new way of being, where you’re the hero of your own life.
Are You Ready to Break Free Like Sarah?
In our 8-Week Program, starting September 20th, we’ll help you:
🧠Uncover the childhood wounds that led to these patterns
💥Clear the energy blocks that keep pulling you back into people-pleasing
❤️Build the confidence to say “no” without guilt, and create relationships based on respect and balance
Sarah’s story doesn’t have to be your story. Imagine a life where you wake up each day feeling empowered, confident, and free to live on your terms.
This is your chance to rewrite your story. Ready to break free? Join us ➡️ https://docs.google.com/document/d/1WhzQzunBMTDYiqovene9TvGBGrCtJGj4jU49sNZ2GFw/edit =h.2hc8rpxxb8mp
We can't wait to embark on this transformative journey with you!
Love and light,
Julie and Tash 💖
The Hidden Cost of Being the “Good Girl” Who Always Says Yes Sarah’s Story: Meet Sarah. From a young age, she learned that in order to feel safe and loved, she had to be perfect. Her father’s affection was fleeting, conditional on good grades and perfect behavior. Her mother, overwhelmed wit...
