Raise Toddlers

C O N N E C T I O N   A F T E R   C A R E

How’s your week been?

My little one started Kindy this week…and she nailed it. 🥹 It was pretty amazing considering this is the kid who clung to me for dear life a year ago when she started Pre-Kindy. 🥺

Pick up was great! She was happy and even told me “I love Kindy” as we walked to the car. 🥰

But then - when it was time to get out of the bath there were tears and primal screaming. 🫠 I’m talking next level meltdown, followed by stalling to get ready for bed and almost an hour and  half to fall asleep. 🤦🏻‍♀️

I knew this was a hangover from keeping it together all day. Her little body needed to release all the nervous energy that was pent up inside. 😭

In these hard moments, I try to remember what I’ve learnt here at Raise Toddlers about Connection After Care:

💙EXPECTATIONS - I expected that my little one would be exhausted and overwhelmed. This shifted my mind into being empathetic and compassionate rather than frustrated and angry.

💙ALL THE FEELS - I allowed her space to release her feelings. When she started screaming, I stayed calm, empathised with her and said “it’s ok, you need to let it all out”. Very soon after - she settled.

💙PUSHBACKS - I’m not going to lie - it was hard to remain calm and compassionate during the hour and a half it took for her to go to sleep. I was tired, I had things to do and I just wanted the day to be over. But I kept reminding myself that she was trying to regulate and come down from a big day and that it can take time when everything is new.

💙ROUTINES - I stuck to the bedtime routine in a loving and reassuring way, even when she pushed back on going to bed. I knew that if I changed things up now - it would likely make her feel more uncertain

💙CONNECTING - I offered extra cuddles and points of connection. At the end of the day, kids feel safe when they are connected to a caring adult. 

Want to feel empowered to handle all these tricky transitions in the early years? 🤷🏻‍♀️
💫Head to the link in our bio to find out how.💫

How did your after care connections go this week? Tell us below.👇🏼

5 T H I N G S A T G O O D B Y E

Here are 5 things your toddler needs to hear from you when you say goodbye:

💗They are SAFE
- 'You will be safe, your teacher will take care of you' -
💗You’ll always RETURN
- 'Mummy and Daddy always come back - we will see to at pickup time after the big bell rings' -
💗It’s ok to FEEL
- 'You might feel sad and that's OK' -
💗Ways to REGULATE
- 'You can sit with your teacher until you feel ready to join your friends' -
💗A RITUAL to connect when separated
- If you are missing me, press the love button on your hand and you can feel my love' -

How was the first goodbye this week as many little ones either started school or returned to school? Goodbyes can be tough so we are here to support you so your help your toddler to settle in feeling calm and confident ♡

Our Starting New Care Workshop will walk you through each of these steps and help you to prepare your child for a confident goodbye and smoother transition to care.

The workshop is FREE for Raise Toddler’s Members and available to non-members through our online shop, simply click the link in our bio and then head to our shop.

Tag your partner or parent friend who has a little one transitioning to new care.

L I V E T O Y S O R T

Sort your playroom = sort your life! 😍

Do you:

🤦🏻‍♀️Feel overwhelmed by the clutter and mess in your playroom?
🤦🏻‍♀️Dread clean up and pack away time?
🤦🏻‍♀️Wish your toddler would play more independently?
🤦🏻‍♀️Find that your toddler gets bored quickly?
🤦🏻‍♀️Find that your child won’t play in the playroom / area?

Then you need one of our famous TOY SORTS! 🙋🏻‍♀️

And have we got something special for you! 🤩

Join us for our Members Only FREE Live Toy Sort. 🥳

This event will be run by our team through Zoom and will talk you through each step of the process - whilst you follow along at home!

Get ready to:
⭐️Declutter
⭐️Categorise
⭐️Store
⭐️Set up a shelf for each play schema

Then sit back and watch the magic happen when your little one plays! 🥰

This is a MEMBERS ONLY event Tuesday 30 January @ 11am AWST.

Not a member? Join us by clicking the link in our bio .

Not sure if this event is for you? 🤷🏻‍♀️
Ask us your questions below. 👇🏼

Tag a fellow parent who also NEEDS this session! 👇🏼

D A I L Y D E L A Y S

Who’s with me?! 🙋🏼‍♀️

Anyone else’s toddler deep in the “I DO IT!” phase? Or the flat out 'NO!' phase? Seriously, some days it feels as though we need to allow at least a solid hour to get out the door.🤦🏻‍♀️

On the days they need to get to school or daycare so you can get to work the delay can be even more intense. The main reason for this is because a separation is coming up and they are seeking to connect!

For those of you who are in this phase here’s a mantra to repeat to yourself:

✨“Even though they are capable, they are craving connection”✨

Of course, we know that there isn't alot of time to really lean in for quality time while trying to rush out the door but there are great small, quick ways to fill the underlying need for connection that is driving the delays! Attachment play can be a game changer! 🥳

One of our favourite games is STOP-GO. It helps with everything from hairbrushing to getting shoes on and getting into the carseat without any power struggles. Head to our stories to find out what it is and we have loads more ideas just like it in our members area too. Tell us what works for you too and we still share all the ideas 👇🏼

Join us and check out our membership at the link in our bio – we get parenting toddlers!

P L A Y & N E W C A R E

Toddlers love engaging in play to make sense of and cope with, many real-life circumstances they are likely to experience. Pretend Play is one of the main ways children make sense of the world, acting out experiences, ideas or stories. 🤔 This is because they are concrete thinkers and don't yet have the ability to cognitively map out changes like we do!

Role playing transitions with your toddlers, like starting day care or school, supports cognitive development by helping them to process and understand the upcoming changes. 🧠 This helps significantly with the anxiety that often accompanies new transitions. 🥺

Role play looks different for different age groups. It sounds obvious but the way that you role play with your 1 year old will be different to the way you role play with your 2, 3 or 4 year old.

Did you know that we have a whole section of our Membership dedicated to understanding play and how to set up effective play for the different stages of toddlerhood? Head to our website to check it out! 🤩

Raise Toddlers Members also have access to our Starting School or Daycare workshop LIVE free in the members area 🥳

Not a member but need allllllll the information?! We have you covered – head to the Link in bio to sign up 💫

NE W C A R E W O R K S H O P

Join Mandy as she workshops all things to do with little ones starting new care! 🙌🏼

This LIVE Workshop on Starting School & Day Care is tomorrow Monday 22nd of January at 11am AWST (2PM Syd/Melb).

This workshop will cover:
⭐️Ways to prepare for this big transition prior to starting
⭐️How to help them to settle in and attach to new caregivers
⭐️How to support confident goodbyes
⭐️What to expect after care and ways to reconnect
⭐️Practical tips about self management without you there
⭐️Supporting toileting in a new context
⭐️Be an opportunity for you to ask ALL the questions you have.

If you can’t make it LIVE, we will make the recording available to you after the workshop.🤩

Head to:
👉 & click the link
👉Go to SHOP on our website
👉Click TODDLER WORKSHOPS
👉Starting STARTING SCHOOL OR DAYCARE

Free access to this workshop in the 1 month, 3 month and 12 month Raise Toddlers Membership. 😃

T O D D L E R   G O O D B Y E S
 
Let’s be real – toddler goodbyes can be SO HARD and not just for the toddler 🥺
 
This time of year a lot of us are gearing up for goodbyes when our toddler starts new care. This could be moving up a room or starting day care. Or could be the start of pre-kindy, kindy or pre-primary (pre-schooling for 3, 4 and 5 year olds).
 
No matter what your circumstances knowing how to confidently approach the transitions and goodbyes can significantly help you and your toddler manage all the (very normal) feelings that come with separations.

Our hot tips include👇🏼
 
🧡Practice a goodbye routine and ritual that your toddler can predict. This can help them to anticipate what’s coming which builds the sense of safety and security, in turn helping them better regulate.

🧡Settle them in: try to ensure that you get to the place of care with enough time to help them settle in and connect with a carer (see below). Rushing through the routine and arrival will only add to the stress of the separation.

🧡Connect them with a carer who will empathise with them and reassure them when you leave. Toddlers cope best when they can attach from you to their carer, not a toy or friend!

🧡When it’s time to leave – say a consistent goodbye phrase, do it with confidence and swiftly leave. If you are hesitant they will be too.

🧡Remind them that they are safe and that you will always come back. Tell them what you will do together when you pick them up.

🧡Feel all the feels. Be kind to yourself – saying goodbye to your toddler can really tug at the heart strings. Give yourself and them permission to feel. Head back to the car and let it all out or text, call or have a coffee with a friend. And be prepared for all the toddler feelings and the need for extra connection at pick up and when you get home.
 
Need more help with toddler separations, goodbyes and new care? 🙈 Check out our LIVE Starting school and daycare workshop next Monday! Members can access it for free in members area 💗
 
Tag or share this with a toddler parent who needs it!
 
Good luck everyone! 💗You got this!💪🏼

A L L T H E T H I N G S

Does your child NEED to bring half the playroom with them when they go on an outing? Even if it’s just a 5 minute car ride? Or maybe they like to take random objects to bed like a peg!

Believe it or not - it’s completely normal for toddlers to do this and it’s actually a sign of their brain trying to bridge the tricky gap created during times of transitions like moving from one task to another. As adults we do this in an abstract way as we mentally prepare for changes through the day but toddler brains don't yet have those logical, executive functioning skills developed so they do this in a concrete way!

And did you know that you can use this to your advantage when it comes to helping them cooperate with you, especially when it comes to transitions?! 🤯 Simply beat them to the punch! Before you announce that it’s time to go - ask them:

“What TWO things do you want to bring with you?”

Change the number and swap out the word “things” for what you’re ok with them bringing on the journey. That way, you’ve created a clear BOUNDARY that also involved CHOICE and satisfies the need for a transitionary object, it can even increase their willing cooperation! 😁

We have a whole section in our Raise Toddlers Membership dedicated to helping you understand all the small and big transitions and how to make these easier, like:
👍🏼moving from play to bathtime
👍🏼getting in the carseat
👍🏼leaving the park or playground
👍🏼starting new care
👍🏼moving from cot to bed
And more

💫Click the link to find out more and head to our stories to sign upto out upcoming starting school and daycare workshop!

What’s the craziest thing your child has wanted to take on an outing? Tell us below. 👇🏼

P A R E N T B E S T I E

Tag your parent bestie to give them some 🫶🏼” or “What else makes a great parent friend? Tell us below 👇🏼).

** We will pick a winner at random and you and your friend will win a RT membership ♡

F I N D Y O U R C A L M

When our toddlers are having big feelings – it can feel really uncomfortable for us. This can be especially true if you grew up in a household that wasn’t comfortable with big feelings. It can lead us to try and ‘fix’, ‘solve’ or try to ‘put a stop’ to the feelings and outbursts that often accompany them. This can look like trying to distract your toddler with games or “fun things”, offering a snack or drink or putting something on the TV or iPad. It’s easy to swing from one thing to the next in an attempt to stop the spiralling.

But what our toddlers actually need is to be given space to feel their feelings, to know that you can handle all the emotions and borrow your calm in order to find theirs. Think of yourself like the anchor on a boat in rough seas. A solid anchor (you) holds the ship (your toddler) steady whilst the seas (emotions) throw it about. The boat needs the anchor to remain steadfast in order to ride out the storm. If the anchor isn’t working properly, the boat will drag it along causing havoc as it does.

It takes practice - lots and lots of practice but learning to shift your focus from stopping the behaviours that come with big feelings to how you can remain calm yourself will actually help your toddler borrow your calm down and often get there quicker than before.
Need some tips on how to help yourself remain or find your calm when there’s chaos around you? Come and join us in the Raise Toddlers Membership. We get how hard this stuff is and we are here to help!
Head to and click the link.
What’s your top tip for finding your calm when the big feelings hit? Let us know below. 👇🏼

B R O K E N R E C O R D

Toddler parents - I know you hear me 😂
Tag a fellow toddler parent who is on repeat ALL.DAY.LONG. 🙉

It is so frustrating to feel as though all your words seem to dissapear into thin air or that your toddler seems to have selective hearing! I mean when you say 'Who wants icecream?' their ears work perfectly! Right!?

If you want support with how to work with your toddlers brain and lead them with confidence you can find out how we can help you turn those typical toddler frustrations around. Head to the link in our bio and join our Raise Toddlers Membership or browse our blogs for more toddlerhood support ♡

T O D D L E R P A Y B A C K

Oh the things our toddlers NEED from us at 4.30am that don't involve sleep!!!

Hope you all somehow found rest this weekend and feel ready for another week of toddler parenting!