Kate Duncan Meditation

I’m sitting beneath the warm blankets of my bed, feeling a bit guilty that I should be “doing something useful”, though right now this feels about as useful as it gets. The indulgent feeling of perusing social media - a rarity now that I’m a mother- is like a balm to weary skin.

I haven’t had the time or energy to “waste” on sitting and scrolling, and I do my best to limit screen time in the hopes that Zach won’t grow up thinking that having a phone glued to one’s palm is normal (though it sadly is). But having suddenly been gifted quite a bit of extra time as a few developments have developed (his starting montessori being one of them) I’ve got time now to reflect and share.

What I’m reflecting on mostly is how amazing it has been to watch a child make sense of the world, and of who he is inside of it. This process has given me much insight into how I would have done that myself. I watch him build the blocks of his life and realise that we all had to make choices about who we are and how we would cope, and those were automatic and completely dependent on the conditions we found ourselves in.

I do my best to give him conditions that might unfold to future well-being and courage, and deep care for all of life, his included. I want him to feel that life’s worth living and that he’s worth loving. And I have to know that some, because of my own conditions, I am limited in my capacity to be perfect. And that’s ok.

Mostly, I am learning that like any person, he simply needs me to be there to SEE him, to HEAR him, to acknowledge that he exists and to be solid enough that I can be comfortable with his discomfort. I don’t need to fix him, judge him or hope he’ll be something he’s not. This way of parenting is easy, nourishing and energising.

Our teachers are everywhere… if we’re open to learning 🌻

In the ancient texts of the Pali Cannon, the Buddha tells us there are 11 benefits to practicing lovingkindness, or metta.
1. You will sleep easily
2. You will wake easily
3. You will have pleasant dreams
4. People will love you
5. Devas and animals will love you
6. Devas will protect you
7. External dangers, such as poisons, weapons, and fire, will not harm you
8. Your face will be radiant
9. Your mind will be serene
10. You will die unconfused
11. You will be re-born in happy realms

When I first heard these, I thought they sounded farfetched. After 20 years of practice (metta is my favourite kind of meditation) I have seen many of these come to fruition, and I have a growing conviction that they are all possible.

At the end of May I am hosting a 3 night metta retreat- from the comfort of your own home- with the gorgeous supporting and offering yoga. This retreat will be a chance to cultivate more of what this world needs (kindness, generosity, joy and love) and more of what each of our own hearts long for (to sleep well, be loved by others and to be unconfused!).

There is heaps more info on my website (kateduncan.com.au) or use the link in my bio.

We have some spectacular news!!!!

Last month and I facilitated a retreat for frontline workers. (This is us, sopping wet on our last morning after jumping into the ocean during a spectacular sunrise walk and meditation on the beach.)

At the end of the retreat, One of our participants was particularly moved by the power of mindfulness for trauma recovery and has generously set up a scholarship fund.

What does this mean? It means we are able to run one- possibly two- more trauma recovery programs for frontline workers over the next year. We’ve already organised the first one, which will start September 9th. Registration will be up soon- comment below or message me directly if you want to chat about it.

The generosity of this gracious soul has move me deeply and I’m feeling so full of joy to be able to deliver this news!

Thank you thank you thank you 👏👏👏

Yesterday was my birthday. I had to ask perplexity how old I was because I got confused thinking I must be doing that thing where I think I am older than I am. I typed, if I was born on December 19th 1981, how old will I be tomorrow? And alas, it replied: 44.
I listened to a talk recently where the teacher was saying that the mind doesn’t age. I feel like that. I still imagine myself as the 30 year old with endless energy and an uncontainable enthusiasm for life. I still want to run and dance and play and feel free. I realise its likely I will continue to feel that way until this life ends.
I see that same zest for life playing out in the body of our beautiful son Zach. He too wants to run and dance and play, and (I’m guessing) feel free. I can see that he is the continuation of me (and Glen)- his body is our bodies rejuvenated and in a new way, our energy and zest for life living on inside of him.
Life has a new meaning as a mother. I understand and appreciate much of life that I couldn’t before, and while yesterday was mellow, I found that my heart was full and content. While Glen worked filming the Ashes Test, we played at the park, met dear friends for brunch, and then I took Zach to Adelaide Oval for the first time. He absolutely loved it.
Though not everything is rainbows and butterflies (life is, after all, full of its hardships and difficulties) it was a day full of happiness within a life full of blessings.

The Buddha, Dhamma and Sangha are known as the three refuges:
🪷 The Buddha stands for the awakened one inside each of us and for our capacity for presence.
🪷 The Dhamma stands for the truth of things, and for our capacity to understand the teachings and to experience insight into who we are and how we relate to this world
🪷 The Sangha stands for the good company we keep, those that support us to live a life of integrity, kindness and peace- those we walk the path alongside

Last weekend I hosted my first Insight retreat since Zach was born and I chose the dream team to do it with, Miss and , the best company any being could ask for.

We chose to run this 3 day retreat as a metta, or lovingkindness, retreat, which entails repeating 4 phrases again and again to oneself or easy beings in our lives:

🪷 May you be safe
🪷 May you be happy
🪷 May you be healthy
🪷 May you live with ease

This is an immensely powerful practice of cultivating true love that reveals everything that is not itself (not love or compassion, or kindness, or joy). It is a great tenderiser of hearts- not easy- not a “good” time- but a powerful and moving experience that changes human lives and alters human hearts.

It is a true honour to be able to offer this work, and I am so impressed and grateful for the 15 participants that came and gave it their all. 🫶🏻❤️🫶🏻❤️🫶🏻

Today I downloaded Instagram to post about the Metta (lovingkindness) retreat we ran this past Thursday thru Sunday. I wanted to tell you how full of love my heart is right now, and how it feels to have a wellspring of goodness beneath my being. 🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻

As I went to my phone and opened the app I found myself looking at photos of my son, Zach, and reflecting on what a powerful dharma practice it is to be a mother. It is the ultimate experience of metta in action. I love this lil goofy guy in a way that brings tears to my eyes. It’s a love so big it’s actually scary to turn toward at times, but when I have the courage my heart simply explodes with the most exquisite flowering of true love. ❤️

I’ll post more about retreat tomorrow ❤️

May all beings be happy 😃
May all beings know peace ✌️

❤️🫶🏻❤️🫶🏻❤️🫶🏻

Earlier this year I found myself face to face with a harsh truth: I am (can be) a control freak. This is not to say that I am a bad person, or that this is a negative trait: there are many wonderful things about the amount of effort I put into work, relationships and life in general. However, I was noticing that wanting people and circumstances to be different than they are, and trying to force that kind of change, was causing most of the stress in life.

Perhaps you can relate?

In the words of the great Thai master Ajahn Chah, “If you let go a little you will have a little peace; if you let go a lot you will have a lot of peace; if you let go completely you will have complete peace.”

On Tuesday night, I am leading a talk and guided meditation on this topic: The Futility of Trying to Control life (and what to do instead). This 90 minute session is by donation and everyone is welcome.

Register using the link in my bio

Kakadu retreat!

Day time highs of 37 degrees, sitting outdoors, with all the many creatures, to meditate.
Waterways with freshwater crocodiles.
Connecting to trees
Sun rises and sunsets.
Midday river cruises with lotus lilies and giant crocs
Dingo sightings,
black cockatoos,
green tree frogs.

🌸🫶🏻🙏

Thank you and all of our lovely guests 🙌

It’s been harder than I thought to get any work done over here in Bali. The allure of waves breaking just outside our window is far too great. We’ve been here 6 weeks already, and have found ourselves nestled into a small coastal town in West Bali called Medewi. It’s slow and quiet, our gorgeous home-away-from-home surrounded by rice fields and grazing cows.

Slowly though, plans do come to fruition, and one of those I am super excited to announce is Sky Sangha- a weekly online gathering for meditators across Australia. I have been working on this with 2 colleagues from the Insight Dharma Teacher Training that we completed last year. This training graduated an incredible community of wise and beautiful teachers ready to spread the Dharma far and wide.

We are launching on Tuesday August 5th and I will be leading the first session. The topic will be “The Story of the Buddha”, both a literal and archetypal exploration the of Buddha’s life and awakening.

Each 90 minute session will include a guided meditation, an offering of the Buddha’s teachings in the form of a Dharma Talk, and a period of inquiry and connection.

In keeping with a 2500 year tradition, no upfront fee will be charged for our gatherings. At the end of each session, you are invited to give a donation (dana) in support of the teachers to continue their work.

Use the link in my bio to register or go to my website 🫶🏻🌸🙏😌