From Madness to Mindfulness

I thought I had to be calm all the time to be a good mum…

But I was exhausted trying to hold it together
Snapping… then drowning in guilt

Trying to be perfect… and feeling like I was failing
Now I know…
Calm isn’t constant
It’s something you return to.
If you’ve ever felt like:
“I just need to be more patient…”
“I shouldn’t react like this…”
“I’m failing because I can’t stay calm…”

You’re not broken.
You’re dysregulated.
And you were never taught how to move through it.

The Calm Mother Code Collective, isn’t about becoming a “perfectly calm mum.”

It’s about becoming a supported, aware, regulated mum
Who knows how to:
🤎 Hold herself in hard moments
🤎 Navigate big emotions (hers and her child’s)
🤎 Come back to connection again and again

Because that’s what your children actually need.
Not perfection.
But a mum who knows how to return.

DM me “CALM CODE” to learn more.

I thought I was failing motherhood…
and I wonder if you’ve ever felt this too....??

I thought I wasn’t patient enough.
That I wasn’t doing enough.
Not enough washing, nor enough time for me, not enough time to be present...

Always tired, exhausted and snappy...

That I should be coping better than this.
Because on the outside…
everything looked “fine.”
The house was clean.
Things were getting done.
I was showing up.
But inside?
I felt overwhelmed.
On edge.
Like I could snap at any moment.
And I couldn’t understand why.

Until I realised…
I wasn’t failing motherhood.
I was just running on an overwhelmed, unsupported nervous system.

So I was trying to create calm by controlling everything around me…
instead of feeling calm within myself.
And that changes how everything feels.
Because you can be doing all the “right” things…
and still feel like you’re drowning.

Not because you’re not good enough
but because you haven’t been supported in the way you actually need.

You don’t need to be a better mum.

You need:
✨ Space to breathe
✨ Tools to regulate
✨ Permission to not hold it all alone
This is where calm, Grounded, Empowered Motherhood begins…
Not in perfection.
But in coming back to you.

If you’ve ever felt like you’re quietly struggling behind the scenes…
Comment ME TOO or send me a message 🤍
You’re not alone in this—and you don’t have to keep carrying it all by yourself.

If you’ve ever looked at a mum and thought
“she should handle that better”…
This is your reminder,
You might be witnessing someone in survival mode.

She doesn't need to carry more shame and judgment she needs safety and support.

There are so many people watching mums struggle…
But not enough people understanding why.
When a mother is reactive, overwhelmed, or shutting down.
It’s not because she doesn’t care.
It’s often because she’s running on empty.
Because her Nervous System is in Survival.
Because she hasn’t been supported, seen, or held.
And the way we respond to her in those moments matters more than we realise.
We can either:
→ Add pressure
→ Or become part of her safety
If you love a mum who is struggling…
Your role isn’t to fix her or judge her.
It’s to meet her with softness, understanding, and support.
Because regulated, supported mothers
raise regulated, supported children.

Mothers don’t need more criticism.
They need more support, more understanding, more people in their corner.

Sometimes when we say there's no village it's because we feel our village doesn't understand.

🤍 If this resonates, share this with someone who needs to understand this more deeply.

It's Austism Awareness month and the reason I no longer share some fancy speel for Autism one day of the year or one week of the month is because I live and breathe Autism awareness everyday of my life.

However some things have been on my mind and heart to share.

Some things that come up often in conversations.

🌀 "Austism is a trend these days",
I mean yes you're hearing about it more because we now have these platforms called social media where people have voices and use those voices to speed awareness and share their lived experiences.

Additionally like most medical and scientific research it was only ever studied on boys so now women are normalising that they have also always been neurodivergent and we're expecting to mask and fit in the box of being neurotypical this whole time.

🌀 "It's just lazy parenting or lack of boundaries",
This narrative stems from many years ago when we institutionalised individuals who were different to us and before it was labelled a spectrum it was actually called "childhood schizophrenia" and "wet / cold mothers syndrome".
Both these labels were in a time where dangerous practices existed.

Listing such practices could likely risk my account being taken down but you all have google.

It's actually very traumatic knowing what we once did to Autistic individuals.

🌀 Being neuroaffirming or inclusive means we are enabling "bad behaviour" , Autism isn't a behavioural issue it's nervous system safety or dysregulation.

When we support the individual we can empower them to thrive when we see it was a behavioural issue we actually cause the behaviours because the Nervous System feels unsafe.

It's actually not that hard and doesn't hurt you to be inclusive but it does hurt others to be non inclusive.

🌀 "They are lazy", "They are just putting it on", "They don't look Autistic",

If you have a child that needs glasses to see and read and write, we don't say just stop putting it on and take your glasses off your being lazy you should just be like everyone else.
We also cannot see or not see how they do from the inside out. No we offer them glasses and accommodations like a seat up the front of class so they can see